NOTE: This post has been edited.

LSS OF THE DAY: "WHAT YOU OWN"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

I knew it wasn't gonna last long. Oh well..






So, I did leave for Manila yesterday early morning, around 2:30. I got to the dorm around 8 because I still had to change into my uniform; seriously, we still needed to wear uniforms just to get our clearance? Stupid, really. But anyway, I waited for my friends, and when everyone was there, Meg held out these bags for me and Judith; turns out they were our early birthday presents (Judith's birthday is today; mine is on the 12th). And the others gave me letters; Simon drew an angel for me.






Then we went inside our building, got our clearances and went to the Health Service because Meg had to do something there. Jay followed us there and we had fun talking to Ma'am Shake.






Stayed in the school for awhile so I read the letters they gave me. I was touched by Simon's letter and I was laughing at Meg's letter but when it came to Albert's, my heart sank.





He wrote that he likes me, and that it's actually getting close to love. I was suspecting for a while that he might actually like me but I didn't think it was like that. I kept the letter and tried to act as normally as possible. I talked to Meg and apparently, everyone in the group knew about it EXCEPT me.






"I care for you very much, and like you the same. What I feel is more than friendship, close to a romantic relationship. I am not prepared to say "I love you", though as time passes and things change, I hope to whisper it sincerely and passionately and shout it triumphantly."

That was just part of what he said, but I think he summed it all up in just these sentences.







While I was reading it, I couldn't stop thinking, "This is not happening. This CAN'T be happening." I already had a hunch that he liked me but I just ignored it, praying that it would just fade. But it didn't.







I've already thought about this ever since I first suspected that he liked me, and whatever I think or say, it always comes down to one conclusion: he's like a brother to me, and just the mere thought of me and him getting together makes me cringe because it really doesn't feel right.







I just sent him a message through Multiply. I hope he takes it as a man. I know that it'll create tensions between us, but I believe that it'll pass.






While Simon accompanied me in waiting for an FX in Espanya, Danzel walked by. He looked a bit surprised to see me with Simon (I actually saw him give something close to a "death glare" as he looked at Mon), and sure enough, he thought that he was courting me. I was talking to him awhile ago when he asked if I had a "new guy"; paranoid, much?







I left Manila around 3:40 and I arrived in Dagupan by 9pm. Whew!







So anyway, I think all the contestants on American Idol are pretty stressed out. Some of them weren't as giddy as they used to be or they seemed to space out a bit. David Cook looked exhausted after he performed and he was always smiling after he sang. I guess it's because of Idol Gives Back which will air tomorrow. Jason Castro did really well; and, alright, Christy Lee Cook did well too. I'm scared for Carly. I hope Syesha gets the boot on Friday.

"So I own not a notion, I escape and gape, content. I don't own emotion, I RENT.."

Labels: American Idol, confusion, decisions, friends and laughter, love thing, Manila life, RENT, revelations, schedules, school

*NOTE: This post has been edited. The picture that was posted here before this is at the bottom






So, yeah, the picture pretty much says it all. Our barkada outing FINALLY pushed through. Our schedule:

MARCH 23: I went to Manila.



MARCH 24: Went back to Dagupan with my friends: Meg, Sarah, Janel, Gian, Mau, Albert and Simon



MARCH 25: Went to Baguio; SM, Camp John Hay, Mine's View Park, Botanical Garden and Burnham Park.



MARCH 26: Went down from Baguio, went to San Fabian, Bonuan, then to Matutina's for dinner.



MARCH 27: They went back to Manila.

We had so much fun! Most of them were so used to Manila that they were a bit surprised at how the province looked.





Our Baguio trip was the best; we enjoyed the cool air and the smell of pine trees and the inummerable flowers. And of course, the cabin we rented was absolutely beautiful; there were even these windows that you can open and sit of the edge so you can see the view better. We cooked our own dinner and we really did a great job at it. The menu: breaded chicken breast, mashed potato with gravy and mushroom soup.





My heart syopped (literally) when Albert got hurt; we had to get down these really steep steps going to the cabin since it was sort of going downhill. When we got back from Burnham Park, I have no idea what got into Albert's head at the time so he decided to just walk down on the grass instead of taking the stairs. He easily outstripped us and he was doing fine, until he stumbled and ROLLED on the gravel. He lay there, sprawled near the bushes and he didn't move for two seconds. We immediately ran down as he was getting up. He had a really big nasty scratch on his left arm. We wrapped it with tissue and scotch tape (Simon, you are a life-saver!). I hope he learned his lesson after that





We had a mini-drinking session around past midnight; I only had a shot of Lambanog and a shot of Gran Matador. My head really hurt after since according to them, the Lambanog's alcohol content was pretty high and I'm not used to drinking and I'm allergic to alcohol. Mau, Albert and Simon kept on asking if we were feeling okay and they kept on pestering us to drink lots of Iced Tea and Coke so we could get the alcohol out of our system when we urinate. Mau finally allowed us to go to bed around 3-ish; my headache's subsided around that time.





I didn't have a hang-over the next morning, thank goodness! But my hands started to itch a little bit because of my allergies. Meg made a really good breakfast: corned beef omelette, tomato omelette, cheese omelette, and tuna. We left Baguio around past noon and we went straight to San Fabian where my uncle lived. We were supposed to go swimming at the beach but the others got discouraged when they found a few dead jellyfish lying on the sand. But Simon didn't care; he went in the water anyway. The rest either used the hammocks, walked on the sand looking for more dead jellyfish or shells, made sandcastles, soaked their feet on the shore, or threw sand at each other.





Dad picked us up from there and he dropped us off in Bonuan, where they met Mom and Doc. I showed Simon this face on the wall and he told me a few things that made my skin crawl; I'd rather not say it here. Then we ate in Matutina's for dinner. I couldn't help but laugh at how much food Mau ate that night; I mean, for a skinny guy, where the hell does he store all that food?! We could have stayed longer but Janel wasn't feeling very well so we left as soon as we finished eating. Me, Meg, Sarah and Gian rode with Mom and Mau, Simon, Albert and Janel rode with Doc; Janel texted us on the way and said that they were listening to Spice Girls. We couldn't stop laughing!





By the time we got back home we were pretty tired; but oddly enough, we didn't go to sleep right away. We ended up exchanging stories and laughing our butts off until midnight before we watched a movie until three in the morning.





We were supposed to wake up early (March 27) but since we were still tired, we overslept by two hours. And they were kind of delaying their departure time because I could see that they were still pretty comfortable where they were. But sadly, they couldn't wait any longer so they left around two in the afternoon.





Despite the few rifts we experienced (literally and figuratively), we were still able to forget about them and just enjoy the time that we had together. If anything, this outing made our bond as a barkada stronger and this gave us the chance to get to know each other better. They're the best friends anyone could ever have and I am truly blessed to have them.





I MISS THEM ALREADY! When I look at my now empty room, I can't help but imagine at how they used to make a big mess out of it. I could still remember who slept where and who laid down beside who. I remember when all of us were in that same room, watching a moive, playing cards and just having a laugh. I live for little moments like that, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Meg, Sarah, Janel, Gian, Mau, Albert and Simon, I hope you all had as much fun as I did. Let's do this again, okay?

----------------------------------------------------

FRIENDS. LIFE'S GREATEST TREASURES.


Again, thanks guys, for a great time. Thanks for all the stories, the laughter, the conversations, the help, the company, heck, even the most embarassing and scariest moments!; in short, thanks for the memories I hope you guys can come back soon! Love you all!


More pictures here: http://lauredilian.multiply.com

----------------------------------------------------


So, anyway, remember the letter I wrote here? Well, we talked on Sunday, the day before I went back to Dagupan; I was in the dormn that time. We finally talked things through, but somehow, I'm not satisfied. He made it clear that maybe now's not the right time for us to be together because he said that he's really going to be busy and that he would be unfair to me if he wasn't always there. I kept on telling him that he needed to practice time management, but he said it wasn't that easy. I grudgingly agreed to what he said; I mean, I really couldn't say anything more about it. But he reminded me that he was always going to be there for me, no matter what. I guess that's the best I can hope for.




And two good things came out of our conversation: I got him to admit that he got jealous because of Albert; he actually thought that Albert was courting me because we hang out a lot so I expalined to him that we were just good friends. And that he doesn't just like me; his feelings for me are much deeper than that. Okay, I'll admit that I got all giddy and googley-eyed when he said the second one; I couldn't help it, really




We haven't talked since then. I don't know if he's avoiding me or he just won't text me because he thinks that we're okay. I mean, one of the reasons why he kept on texting me before was because he wanted to check on how I was doing. Now that everything's slightly okay between us, maybe he thinks that he doesn't have a reason to talk to me anymore. But that's just what I think.




*sigh* Love...

Labels: decisions, friends, friends and laughter, love, love thing, revelations, summer, vacation

LSS OF THE DAY: "WITHOUT YOU"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Dear lord, I'm exhausted.






Last Saturday, I didn't go home. So yeah, I was stuck in my cave (dorm).






And last Sunday, I had to attend this thing for LTS; okay, it was a Mass and sort of like a closing program but I found it to be dull. And what was worse was that the NSTP coordinator told us off for being noisy, TWICE! That was so humiliating. And to think, we're in college and yet we still act like a bunch of pre-schoolers. Oh well. We stayed in school until 8pm. As always, we played frisbee even though it was pretty dark. Lots of one-on-one moments that I'll never forget.






Sarah and Mau broke up; but I think they're together again. Or is it just my imagination?






My ninang from the States called me yesterday just to check on how I was doing. I was really touched when she told me that she misses me. She's one of those old people who knows how to relate to today's generation, since she has two kids who are just a few years older than me. She told me stories about her younger days, when she and my tito weren't married yet. Their courtship, how they were able to handle their break-up and still remained close, and how he proposed. Needless to say, it was nakakakilig; and coming from her, that's saying a lot! I told her about my current "situation" with--well, you know who; she told me some stuff and I'd rather not say them here. Ssssshhh! I can't wait for her to call again.






And I am very pleased to say that as of yesterday, I have a son! Not biological, of course. Remember our family tree? Iris is my "mom", Meg and Janel are my "daughters", Sarah's our "dog", Gian's my "sister", Albert's my "brother-in-law", Simon's my "stepfather"; we don't have positions for Judith, Claudette and Jigo yet, and now Jay (Albert's friend, who's been hanging out with us) is now my "son". Me, Meg, Albert and Jay stayed in school until seven last night in Lovers Lane. Just talking. Meg even took a video of Jay and his inability to do the steps that Jigo did last week; now I have something to laugh at when I'm depressed. No offense, Jay; love yah, m'boy!






And tomorrow's gonna be a busy day for us.

MARCH 12, 2008 (Wednesday)

8:00 - 9:00 -> Meet up at the Pav for Stat
9:00 - 12:00 -> Debate drill
12:00 - 3:00 -> CLASSES
3:00 - 4:00 -> Exam in Theology (should have been today but she didn't show up)

*and some time between 4:00-7:00 we have to take a quiz in Bio through E-Leap AND attend the election of officers for BESSCIFED.

Is that busy, or is that busy?






Which reminds me, I have to write down all that stuff that Meg told me for the debate. I volunteered to replace Judith since she really wasn't into it. At least I made someone's day.






I'm beginning to notice something. But I wouldn't want to sound hasty or anything, so I'll just sit back and watch how everything will turn out.






I saw him awhile ago in front of our building, while I was talking to Albert. I hate it when I get shivers down my spine everytime I see him. I am so weak. Pathetic, really.

"If he doesn't make a move, forget about him" - my friends.

But the thing is, I'm already trying. Why isn't it working?

Labels: BesFed, crap, decisions, depression and tears, emotions, exhaustion, family, love thing, relapse, reminders, RENT, revelations, schedules, school, school woes

LSS OF THE DAY: "WHAT YOU OWN" FROM RENT

Long time no blog!


I've been busy, and lazy at the same time so I wasn't able to update for awhile.


So, anyway, we went to Hong Kong and had a lot of fun. Of course, we went to Disneyland. There's just too much to say about what happened there. I wish I had more time. I swear that I'll say more next time.


I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT ANTHONY RAPP IS GAY. Sorry, I am still in denial even though I found out about it last Saturday. (He is not gay!)


I got a new phone! Its a Nokia 6233. Actually, it once belonged to my Dad he only had it for 2 or 3 months before he decided to buy a new phone because he said that the keypad was too small. Yey for me!


But, just a few days ago, Sunday to be exact, Trent (my phone) went haywire because of the security code. I couldn't unlock my phone even if I already removed the battery and simcard. So I went to Quiapo with the daughter of our landlady and looked for their "suki" in repairing cell phones. But they were closed so we kept on looking around and all the cell phone repair stores that we went to had the same price: 800 pesos. I decided to come back after class. When we were dismissed, I decided to go to SM San Lazaro and try my luck there. When I got to the place where the jeep, Jane (my room mate from first year) was there and she went with me. Lots of talking and catching up with each other. We went to GLobe and when they couldn't help us, we went to a cell phone repair shop near Globe. The guy said that it'll cost me 800 also; but Jane asked if we could pay for 500 and they agreed. So we waited, and waited, and waited. After 3 and a half hours of waiting, they still weren't done. So I said that I'll just come back for it the next day. The guy who was fixing my phone was really nice so he lent me his phone while mine was being fixed.


Now, we're okay. Thank goodness!


I am such a HYPOCRITE. And I am NOT PROUD of it.


Sarah's debut is coming up! But what am I going to wear?!


I dunno when I'll be able to upload my pictures from Hong Kong.

Labels: decisions, depression and tears, love thing, RENT, revelations, Trent

LSS OF THE DAY: "TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS/TOBACCO ROAD/DON'T STOP THINKING ABOUT TOMORROW MEDLEY" BY THE AMERICAN IDOL MALE FINALISTS

Whew! Long title; they performed that during the finale last year. That song was playing while I was listening to Tony and it got stuck in my head. I remember watching that episode; I'll never forget how hot Bucky Covington and Ace Young were at that time.

And there they are! AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 5, TOP 12
From left, top row: Lisa Tucker, Elliot Yamin, Paris Bennet, Chris Daughtry, Mandisa Hundley.
From left, bottom row: Bucky Covington, Katharine McPhee, Ace Young, Kelly Pickler, Taylor Hicks.
*Taylor turned out to be the winner of American Idol season 5, but I think Katharine and Chris are doing better than him. Don't you?

Taylor looks like my Mom's boyfriend. Eeech!

Chris Daughtry's my absolute favorite from this group. I got really upset when he got kicked out of the show when it should have been Katharine McPhee who should say "bye-bye". Darnit. Oh well. He's doing very well. He's a successful solo artist and American Idol even used his song, "Home", for the show. They didn't use Taylor's song. Hahaha!

Today's batch of finalists are really good. I was very surprised at the talent that they all posessed. If only all of them could be the winners that would be a great thing. I'm pretty sure that America's having a very hard time in deciding who they'll vote for; because everytime someone gets sent home, everybody gets shocked. They don't want anyone to go either. But, that's the show.

AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 6, TOP 12
From left, top row: Phil Stacey, Chris Sligh, Stephanie Edwards, BLAKE LEWIS, Sanjaya Malakar, Haley Scarnato.
From left, bottom row: MELINDA DOOLITTLE, Chris Richardson, JORDIN SPARKS, Brandon Rogers, Gina Glocksen, Lakisha Jones.
*The names that I capitalized and made bold are the final three. One of them is gonna be the next American Idol. Tough decision 'coz they're all so good!
*By the way, I got two pictures 'coz you really couldn't see Phil's face on the first pic. And these are the most decent shots I could find. Why don't they have nice group pictures?!

I think Chris Richardson's cute. I really liked Phil; I loved his rendition of "Blaze of Glory" by Bon Jovi. But I know he's gonna do well even when he's not in the show anymore. I predict that he'll be a big country super-star and sell lots and lots of albums. Oh great. I'm starting to sound like Simon with his "predictions". Hahaha!.

I'm going Idol crazy!. I even downloaded some of their performances on Tony. Hahahaha!.

I'll never forget Sanjaya's hairstyles. From the mohawk to straight, to curly, to the curly with the bandana and so on. Wow. That guy's gotta have really good, strong hair.

Speaking of Tony, I bought him a black leather casing yesterday. Doesn't really fit him well but I inserted a thin sheet of foam before I put him in so now he fits in it perfectly. I also designed the casing. I'll take a picture of it some other time.

I'm thinking of making a story blog. Just for fun. I've got a few ideas for my story but it still needs some polishing. I'll think about it long and hard first before I do anything.

I changed my background music to "HALO" by Bethany Joy Lenz; from the One Tree Hill soundtrack. Oh dear lord. My sister's getting to me again!

The jingles of the candidates for Monday's elections having been playing for almost the whole day! Almost all the jeepneys, cars and trucks that pass through here would have speakers on the roof and just blare those darn songs! It's getting really irritating

Well, it looks like I ran out of things to say.

Wait-----I can't wait for American Idol next week!.

Uhh. Yeah, I guess that's it!

'Til next post y'all!

Labels: decisions, IDOL MANIA

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