LSS OF THE DAY: "RENT"

From: RENT [Musical/Movie]

Be warned--this is gonna be an emo post.






I just can't stand it anymore! Why is he acting so indifferent? Can't he see that he's making me suffer more? Sure, it was nice of him to ask me if I'm going to the Graduation of our Seniors tomorrow, but he could have at least finished our conversation! I hate it when people leave me hanging without saying "goodbye", especially if the conversation was getting interesting. Sometimes I just want to smack him for being so oblivious to what's going on; maybe that might knock some sense into him.






I'll admit that I'm weak when it comes to him. I can't stop myself from opening up to him or spilling me heart out; it comes naturally, really, especially if I feel different for the person on question. I just really hate it when he thinks that everything's "okay" between us then he'll start acting like nothing's happened. Well, that "nothing" pushed me to the brink of my sanity, made me wander aimlessly, made me shed tears, and worst of all, BROKE MY HEART. Yes, my heart got broken--YET AGAIN.






This afternoon, while I was listening to the song "Will I" from RENT, I started crying; I couldn't help it. I wanted to scream, I wanted to pull my hair, I wanted to cry and cry and cry until my eyes dried up; but I didn't. I just let it all out through singing along while I allowed the tears to fall.






I love him. I love him. I love him. I can't get over him. What the hell is wrong with me?!






We NEVER got together, and yet I still have that hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach after a break-up. How did I get so emotionally attached to someone I never had a real relationship with? I want to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, move on, and never look back. But everytime I pick up a piece, I drop it again; and when I move forward, I keep looking over my shoulder. I can't stop. I can't stop..







Now, everybody, SING WITH ME!

..will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
- "Will I", RENT



This heart is not the first heart broken,
My eyes are not the first to cry,
I'm not the first to know,
There's just no gettin' over you
I know I'm just a fool who's willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see,
There's nothin' else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying "fool, forget him",
My heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
- "Hopelessly Devoted To You", GREASE


If I loved you,
Time and again I would try to say
All I'd want you to know.
If I loved you,
Words wouldn't come in an easy way
Round in circles I'd go!
Longin' to tell you,
But afraid and shy,
I'd let my golden chances pass me by!
Soon you'd leave me,
Off you would go in the mist of day,
Never, never to know how I loved you
If I loved you.
- "If I Loved You", CAROUSEL

*sigh* I really, REALLY need some sort of distraction or something. I seriously need to get him out of my head.







Damn. I'm falling apart..again.

Labels: crap, depression and tears, love thing, RENT, shitty

*NOTE: This post has been edited. The picture that was posted here before this is at the bottom






So, yeah, the picture pretty much says it all. Our barkada outing FINALLY pushed through. Our schedule:

MARCH 23: I went to Manila.



MARCH 24: Went back to Dagupan with my friends: Meg, Sarah, Janel, Gian, Mau, Albert and Simon



MARCH 25: Went to Baguio; SM, Camp John Hay, Mine's View Park, Botanical Garden and Burnham Park.



MARCH 26: Went down from Baguio, went to San Fabian, Bonuan, then to Matutina's for dinner.



MARCH 27: They went back to Manila.

We had so much fun! Most of them were so used to Manila that they were a bit surprised at how the province looked.





Our Baguio trip was the best; we enjoyed the cool air and the smell of pine trees and the inummerable flowers. And of course, the cabin we rented was absolutely beautiful; there were even these windows that you can open and sit of the edge so you can see the view better. We cooked our own dinner and we really did a great job at it. The menu: breaded chicken breast, mashed potato with gravy and mushroom soup.





My heart syopped (literally) when Albert got hurt; we had to get down these really steep steps going to the cabin since it was sort of going downhill. When we got back from Burnham Park, I have no idea what got into Albert's head at the time so he decided to just walk down on the grass instead of taking the stairs. He easily outstripped us and he was doing fine, until he stumbled and ROLLED on the gravel. He lay there, sprawled near the bushes and he didn't move for two seconds. We immediately ran down as he was getting up. He had a really big nasty scratch on his left arm. We wrapped it with tissue and scotch tape (Simon, you are a life-saver!). I hope he learned his lesson after that





We had a mini-drinking session around past midnight; I only had a shot of Lambanog and a shot of Gran Matador. My head really hurt after since according to them, the Lambanog's alcohol content was pretty high and I'm not used to drinking and I'm allergic to alcohol. Mau, Albert and Simon kept on asking if we were feeling okay and they kept on pestering us to drink lots of Iced Tea and Coke so we could get the alcohol out of our system when we urinate. Mau finally allowed us to go to bed around 3-ish; my headache's subsided around that time.





I didn't have a hang-over the next morning, thank goodness! But my hands started to itch a little bit because of my allergies. Meg made a really good breakfast: corned beef omelette, tomato omelette, cheese omelette, and tuna. We left Baguio around past noon and we went straight to San Fabian where my uncle lived. We were supposed to go swimming at the beach but the others got discouraged when they found a few dead jellyfish lying on the sand. But Simon didn't care; he went in the water anyway. The rest either used the hammocks, walked on the sand looking for more dead jellyfish or shells, made sandcastles, soaked their feet on the shore, or threw sand at each other.





Dad picked us up from there and he dropped us off in Bonuan, where they met Mom and Doc. I showed Simon this face on the wall and he told me a few things that made my skin crawl; I'd rather not say it here. Then we ate in Matutina's for dinner. I couldn't help but laugh at how much food Mau ate that night; I mean, for a skinny guy, where the hell does he store all that food?! We could have stayed longer but Janel wasn't feeling very well so we left as soon as we finished eating. Me, Meg, Sarah and Gian rode with Mom and Mau, Simon, Albert and Janel rode with Doc; Janel texted us on the way and said that they were listening to Spice Girls. We couldn't stop laughing!





By the time we got back home we were pretty tired; but oddly enough, we didn't go to sleep right away. We ended up exchanging stories and laughing our butts off until midnight before we watched a movie until three in the morning.





We were supposed to wake up early (March 27) but since we were still tired, we overslept by two hours. And they were kind of delaying their departure time because I could see that they were still pretty comfortable where they were. But sadly, they couldn't wait any longer so they left around two in the afternoon.





Despite the few rifts we experienced (literally and figuratively), we were still able to forget about them and just enjoy the time that we had together. If anything, this outing made our bond as a barkada stronger and this gave us the chance to get to know each other better. They're the best friends anyone could ever have and I am truly blessed to have them.





I MISS THEM ALREADY! When I look at my now empty room, I can't help but imagine at how they used to make a big mess out of it. I could still remember who slept where and who laid down beside who. I remember when all of us were in that same room, watching a moive, playing cards and just having a laugh. I live for little moments like that, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Meg, Sarah, Janel, Gian, Mau, Albert and Simon, I hope you all had as much fun as I did. Let's do this again, okay?

----------------------------------------------------

FRIENDS. LIFE'S GREATEST TREASURES.


Again, thanks guys, for a great time. Thanks for all the stories, the laughter, the conversations, the help, the company, heck, even the most embarassing and scariest moments!; in short, thanks for the memories I hope you guys can come back soon! Love you all!


More pictures here: http://lauredilian.multiply.com

----------------------------------------------------


So, anyway, remember the letter I wrote here? Well, we talked on Sunday, the day before I went back to Dagupan; I was in the dormn that time. We finally talked things through, but somehow, I'm not satisfied. He made it clear that maybe now's not the right time for us to be together because he said that he's really going to be busy and that he would be unfair to me if he wasn't always there. I kept on telling him that he needed to practice time management, but he said it wasn't that easy. I grudgingly agreed to what he said; I mean, I really couldn't say anything more about it. But he reminded me that he was always going to be there for me, no matter what. I guess that's the best I can hope for.




And two good things came out of our conversation: I got him to admit that he got jealous because of Albert; he actually thought that Albert was courting me because we hang out a lot so I expalined to him that we were just good friends. And that he doesn't just like me; his feelings for me are much deeper than that. Okay, I'll admit that I got all giddy and googley-eyed when he said the second one; I couldn't help it, really




We haven't talked since then. I don't know if he's avoiding me or he just won't text me because he thinks that we're okay. I mean, one of the reasons why he kept on texting me before was because he wanted to check on how I was doing. Now that everything's slightly okay between us, maybe he thinks that he doesn't have a reason to talk to me anymore. But that's just what I think.




*sigh* Love...

Labels: decisions, friends, friends and laughter, love, love thing, revelations, summer, vacation

Dear,


It's time for me to let you go.


I know you promised to "fix things between us", but from what I'm seeing, your not doing anything.


I waited for you. I cried for you. And still, nothing.


It wasn't my intention to feel for you the way I do; I, myself, don't even know what happened. It just did.


I care for you, I really do. But what you did still hurt, and I don't know if I can totally forgive you for it.


It's about time that we stop kidding ourselves and face the cold, hard truth: that we can't always have what we want, no matter how badly we want them. We can't have each other, that's what we need to face and accept.


I'll always be here for you, if ever you need a friend. I can't promise that things will go back to the way they were before everything changed, but if your willing to start over, I would be more than happy to oblige. We might as well keep the friendship instead of throwing it away; it would be a waste, indeed.


Thank you for showing that you care, and that you'll always be there. I'll never forget the moments we shared.


No matter how much it kills me to say this, I know I'm doing the right thing; even if it feels a little wrong: we have to forget about everything that's ever happened between us. Easier said than done, I know; but we should at least try.


As the song goes, "We had the right love at the wrong time".


I'll somehow pluck up the courage to tell you all this the next time we talk or the nexr time we meet. I hope I don't end up eating my words like last time.


But until then..


I love you. And I'm sorry.

LSS OF THE DAY: "FINALE B"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Sooooooooooo many things have happened since my last update. So, what are we waiting for? Let's get to it!






The Debate, our finals in English, went well. I was part of the Opposition with Meg and Ella while Mark Anido, Waki and Rissa made up our Government. We were given three topics to research on and then our professor will just randomly select one on the day of the debate itself. The three topics were: 1.) UST: 4oo Years Of Student Empowerment, or 400 Years of Colonialism?; 2.) Migration: A Success Or Failure To Nationalism?; and 3.) English As A Classroom Medium Of Instruction. We feverishly debated amongst ourselves and absorbed every little detail that we could come across. On the day of the debate itself, we found out that we were going to go against either the students from Sociology or Political Science; I remember my head shooting up to look warily at whoever said it. I just realized then that Danzel was in Sociology, so, yeah, that meant that he just MIGHT be there. I prayed in my head that he wasn't going to be there so I pushed him out of my thoughts since I had a debate to worry about.






It was also the first day of our final examinations on Thursday so we had to cram two other subjects (HR and Stat) aside from all the information we got from our classmates. We staggered out of the classroom as soon as we passed our papers and started reading through our notes; our last exam ended at 12:40 and the debate was scheduled at 1p.m., so no lunch break. We had to change clothes because our professor said that we had to look "professional".






So, we trudged to the Tan Yan Kee Student Center, up to the fourth floor, and into the AVR; the same place where we had the Team Building seminar the week before. I scanned the room; no tall, dark, thin guy with a goatee. I sighed in relief. Our professor was announcing who'll battle against who and, surprise, surprise! We were gonna go against Socio and our topic was the English thing, which by far was the easiest. My knees were shaking by the time we were walking towards the table where we were assigned. I took several deep breaths while waiting for the Government side speak up.






The first speaker lacked the conviction that a person needed to sound strong and sure, but we listened intently to what she had to say so we could point out any flaws in their arguments. Meg did a great job at countering their speeches; the Deputy Prmie Minister of the Government had such a soft voice that I could only get bits and pieces of her speech and that was what I needed! So when it was my turn to speak, I couldn't think of any other thing to say so I had to cut short my speech by three minutes or so. And guess what? While I was talking, HE walked in; he even hid behind our professor and I saw some of his classmates proding him. When I sat down, I knew he was looking at me the whole time but I kept my head turned the other way. And, WE WON!







Sadly, Mark, Rissa and Waki lost to Political Science. No offense, but some fo them were straying off the topic and yet they won? Biased!






So anyway, after the debate, to our surprise, Trish (our class president) and Cel (our vice-president) bought food for us, courtesy of the whole class. You could just imagine how hungry we were. THANKS GUYS!






We hung out in school for awhile; me, Meg, Albert, Simon and Jo, who joined us a little later, stayed in Lovers Lane. A little later, I looked at my phone, and I saw that Danzel texted me.



(originally in Tagalog, but I translated it into English)
D: Hey, Marvs wants to get your number. Is it okay if I give it to him? (Marvs was the guy Danzel was campaigning for in the elections and we've been friends since)
L: Sure! And can you tell him that I'll get his number from Jo since I'm with her anyway?
D: Yeah, Jo just texted me. Where are you?
L: In Lovers Lane.
D: Do you want me to go there.
L: It's okay with me. You're not busy or anything?
D: Nope. I'm not doing anything.
L: Okay. But are you sure you wanna come? Meg's here. (Yes, they know each other; they tease each other a lot so I just made sure)
D: You don't want me to go?
L: I said it's okay. I was just asking.
D: You might be mad at me. By the way, congratulations on your win. You did a great job.
L: What makes you think that I'm mad at you? Oh, thanks.
D: Oh, nothing. I'll be there a little later.

But then, the guard shooed us off becuase of the curfew. So I texted him.

L: Hey, they're making us leave. How's that?
D: Let's still meet. I'm near the field. I'll meet you there.

By this time, Meg and Simon already left so it's just me, Albert and Jo. He came, we went out to P. Noval, Albert left us, then we went to Jolibbee in Lacson. Since Jo and Danzel are both from the same political party, all they talked about was politics and I just butted in once in a while. When Jo stood up to order ice cream I asked him:

L: What made you think that I was mad at you?
D: (looks down) Nothing, really. It just crossed my mind.

He really wouldn't look at me in the eye while were talking. Around quarter to midnight, we decided that it was time to leave. Jo went straight out while were turned right to Dapitan. We talked until we reached my dorm. When he left, I texted him:

L: Hey, Danz. Thanks for meeting us and for taking me to the dorm. Take care, okay?
D: Sure, that was nothing. But next time, it just has to be the two of us.

I was a bit surprised at what he said but I decided to let it slide.





The next day, we didn't have classes but we weren't given time to relax because we promised Jo that we'd help her out with her staffing duties for the Baccalureate Mass. We distributed the food, ordered the Seniors around and stuff like that. While we were doing all that stuff, Danzel and I were still texting. He was supposed to be there but his parents forced him to go home. We were busy for the whole day; tiring, but fun.


L: So, this is what you do.
D: Yeah. Do you understand me now?
L: I always have. That's why I'm leaving you alone.
D: Ah. By the way, what is it with you and Albert?
L: Albert? Why?
D: Nothing. Just asking.
L: He's part of our group. Why?
D: Nothing.
L: Okay. So, I guess we should forget about it, huh?
D: I don't think so. Let's stay neutral.
L: Neutral?
D: Yeah. Whatever's happening now, let's keep it that way.
L: Okay.

I forgot what else we talked about since it was around this time that we were already watching the fireworks. While we were getting the Seniors ready to pas under the Arc of the Centuries, Kuya Ace, one of the Staffers, approached us and told us that Simon was in the hospital. Apparently, he collapsed while he was doing what he was supposed to do; I kind of expected someone to give way at any time but I wasn't expecting him. So after everything was done, we went to the hospital and watched over Simon until his parents came back. We left around quarter to 12.







The next day, we had an exam in Biology at 10a.m. And right after that, Danzel texted me again, asking me if I could accompany him somewhere. I agreed, so we arranged the time and place of where we were going to meet. After we did what he asked me to do, I got ready for the Launching of the Behavioral Science Federation. Meg came over and she put make-up on me. The pictures are still being uploaded on my Multiply. I had a lot of fun. Kuya JPaul kept on taking pictures of me and Jan. Crazy guy. Then we went to the GAP victory party afterwards. Meg ahd to leave early and I got back to the dorm around 1a.m.







The next day, Sunday, I was too lazy to get out of bed. And, surpise! Danzel texted me again asking if I could hear Mass with him. I couldn't say no. So I went to UST around 3:30 just so I can have time for myself. Marvs was there too so we hung out for a bit while we waited for Danzel. When he came, they smoked a bit, then we went to McDonald's. He even laid his arm on my leg when I was facing him. Marvs left so it was just me and him going to Church. There were a lot of people so we stayed outside. When it came to the "Peace be with you" part, I turned to face him, when I felt him kiss me on the cheek AND half of my lips. I was stunned beyong words. When he saw the look on my face he said that he and his blockmates do it everytime they hear Mass together. I just laughed it off.







Looking back on that, I still wonder where's the "neutral" that he told me. Oh well. We'll see.....







Exams are over! We went to Trinoma right after our last exam and went to Red Box for videoke. So much fun! Can't wait to do it again.







I'm home in Dagupan now. And I'm sooooooo tired!







I have so much more to say, but right now, I really have to sleep.







See yah later, love!

Labels: confusion, crap, depression and tears, friends, friends and laughter, likes and dislikes, love, love thing, relapse, RENT, summer

LSS OF THE DAY: "WITHOUT YOU"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Dear lord, I'm exhausted.






Last Saturday, I didn't go home. So yeah, I was stuck in my cave (dorm).






And last Sunday, I had to attend this thing for LTS; okay, it was a Mass and sort of like a closing program but I found it to be dull. And what was worse was that the NSTP coordinator told us off for being noisy, TWICE! That was so humiliating. And to think, we're in college and yet we still act like a bunch of pre-schoolers. Oh well. We stayed in school until 8pm. As always, we played frisbee even though it was pretty dark. Lots of one-on-one moments that I'll never forget.






Sarah and Mau broke up; but I think they're together again. Or is it just my imagination?






My ninang from the States called me yesterday just to check on how I was doing. I was really touched when she told me that she misses me. She's one of those old people who knows how to relate to today's generation, since she has two kids who are just a few years older than me. She told me stories about her younger days, when she and my tito weren't married yet. Their courtship, how they were able to handle their break-up and still remained close, and how he proposed. Needless to say, it was nakakakilig; and coming from her, that's saying a lot! I told her about my current "situation" with--well, you know who; she told me some stuff and I'd rather not say them here. Ssssshhh! I can't wait for her to call again.






And I am very pleased to say that as of yesterday, I have a son! Not biological, of course. Remember our family tree? Iris is my "mom", Meg and Janel are my "daughters", Sarah's our "dog", Gian's my "sister", Albert's my "brother-in-law", Simon's my "stepfather"; we don't have positions for Judith, Claudette and Jigo yet, and now Jay (Albert's friend, who's been hanging out with us) is now my "son". Me, Meg, Albert and Jay stayed in school until seven last night in Lovers Lane. Just talking. Meg even took a video of Jay and his inability to do the steps that Jigo did last week; now I have something to laugh at when I'm depressed. No offense, Jay; love yah, m'boy!






And tomorrow's gonna be a busy day for us.

MARCH 12, 2008 (Wednesday)

8:00 - 9:00 -> Meet up at the Pav for Stat
9:00 - 12:00 -> Debate drill
12:00 - 3:00 -> CLASSES
3:00 - 4:00 -> Exam in Theology (should have been today but she didn't show up)

*and some time between 4:00-7:00 we have to take a quiz in Bio through E-Leap AND attend the election of officers for BESSCIFED.

Is that busy, or is that busy?






Which reminds me, I have to write down all that stuff that Meg told me for the debate. I volunteered to replace Judith since she really wasn't into it. At least I made someone's day.






I'm beginning to notice something. But I wouldn't want to sound hasty or anything, so I'll just sit back and watch how everything will turn out.






I saw him awhile ago in front of our building, while I was talking to Albert. I hate it when I get shivers down my spine everytime I see him. I am so weak. Pathetic, really.

"If he doesn't make a move, forget about him" - my friends.

But the thing is, I'm already trying. Why isn't it working?

Labels: BesFed, crap, decisions, depression and tears, emotions, exhaustion, family, love thing, relapse, reminders, RENT, revelations, schedules, school, school woes

LSS OF THE DAY: "WILL I"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here I go again.






When was my last update? So anyway, two days ago (March 5, Wednesday), we had this team building thing with the other section. I have to admit, it was fun! I learned a lot from my fellow BESmates and I'm really looking forward to the times when we'll be working together again. And I made new friends too. We did this "Amazing Race" sort fo thing where we had to run from the fourth floor of the Tan Yan Kee building to Lovers Lane, to the field, to the Quadri, then back to TYK. I didn't eat a lot so I wasn't running as fast I should; and I even fell three times in one of the activities! But it was worth it. I'll post my pictures the next time I get home, which is like, after forever?







We even played frisbee until quarter to ten after that! Me, Meg, Jigo, and Albert stayed and later some people from BES2 joined us.






My body was so sore yesterday that I had the slightest difficulty in walking and moving a lot.







And speaking of yesterday, I was high-depressed. I was high because I was depressed. I was tired, I was depressed, and I was pissed. Some people just don't know how to show respect to some people and they don't know when to keep their mouths shut. I swear, I wanted to slap them just to keep them quiet. Many times I just wanted to tell them off, just to show how pissed I was, but I kept telling myself to be patient. Some of them asked how I was since I was so quiet and that I kept on staring into space; I appreciate their concern, but they don't know the real reason. I was really high-strung yesterday; thank goodness I was able to let off some steam.







*sigh* So many things have been happening for the past few days. Sometimes I wonder if it's all just coincidence or..I dunno..fate? I mean, what are the odds of us seeing each other in the same place three times? (Yes, I'm counting, but so what?!) He tried to get my attention last night, but pride kept me from acknowledging him completely. After everything that happened, he still thinks that everything's okay between us? Sure, he textes me more now, even though it's already super late; but still! Why does he even bother? I'm still hurting from what he did and I haven't totally forgiven him.






Although, alright, I admit, I still care for the guy; heck, I LOVE him for crying out loud! But I still can't bring myself to fully accept what he said.






But...I may say that I'm mad at him now, but when the time comes that he'll ask for a second chance, I know that I'm gonna give it to hom. My feelings are too strong; I can't avoid that. Call me stupid, call me a bitch, call me desperate, I DON'T CARE.







Just like what Albert and Jo told me last night, "He doesn't deserve you. Move on". Easier said that done, I'm afraid. But I am trying, really!

"Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I never learned what it is to be in love and have that love returned". - Written In The Stars, AIDA.

I won't be going home. Oh well. And exams are coming up. Crunch time, baby!








'Til next time, love!

Labels: depression and tears, friends, love, love thing, relapse, RENT

LSS OF THE DAY: "FINALE B"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

I know your probably fed up with all my RENT crap, but dear, it's my head and it's my life so there's nothing you can do to change my mind. I love you!






I'm being sarcastic today. I wonder why.






I'm in the library computer lab typing my position paper in Theology since they didn't have any vacant computers in Netopia.





But before I went there, I withdrew money from my ATM since I was running low on cash, and I had to pay for my dorm. As I was walking there, I was calculating in my head how much money I should withdraw; dorm, pictures for the scrapbook for LTS, laundry, internet time, food..I guess that was it. So after I got the money, walked to Netopia and when they told me that they didn't have any vacancy, a voice in the back of my head said: "It's a sign, Lui; God doesn't want you to spend a lot today". Needless to say, I heeded that voice so I decided to go to the library and use my FREE internet browsing priviledges. GOD IS GOOD!






It was our last meeting in P.E. today; and our written exam was pretty easy. When Professor Adri asked, "Where was the last men's football league held?" (or something like that, I couldn't remember the exact question); we all stared blankly at her for a few seconds before she said, "You already have a clue". It was then I noticed that she was wearing a FIFA shirt with the German flag on it. Praying that that was what she meant, I wrote it down. And guess what? That was it! I laughed so hard afterwards. After that, Prof. let us play a bit so we started running across the field and when the guys asked if we wanted to play with them, we agreed, naturally! Had a lot of fun. I'm gonna miss going to P.E. every Tuesday at 7am to 9am. And it is our very last P.E. Very sad.







Oh yeah, yesterday, we went to Janel's house since Mark had to make a Powerpoint presentation for our Computer class. We were supposed to do our project in Theology but since Janel said that her parents wouldn't want her to be alone with a guy in the house, we went too. Janel doesn't have Theology this semester so we had to "pretend" that we were doing something else. After awhile, we started making fun of each other, taking pictures, playing "heart-breaking" songs (I almost cried because some of them made me really depressed), jammed with Mau as he played the guitar, had heart-to-heart conversations, danced and sang along (Janel took a video of me dancing alone and of me dancing with Sarah and Meg; I hope she doesn't upload it on Multiply. I'll never show my face in public again if she does!) and just had fun. We ended up going home around past 10pm.






I've noticed that we keep on coming home late over the past few weeks. But I'm telling you, that's just a taste of what will happed to us next year. I'll explain it some other time.





Something's wrong with Yahoo! Mail; a dialog box keeps on popping out about "failing to retrieve the weather data" and whatever. It's annoying.






I'm multi-tasking! I'm typing here, I'm typing my paper, AND I'm reading FanFiction!






Friendster and Multiply are blocked from the computers here so I can't check them out. And Sir Eric finally approved my invitation!






And when I'm done here, I have to run out to Dapitan and have it printed.







*sigh* I hope I don't see him today. PLEASE don't let me see him today. My day started out great and I don't want it to go crashing down if I see him.





Okay, now I really have to finish my paper since my class will be starting in an hour. I have to write three pages; but the font is Arial and the font size is 14 AND it's 1.5 spacing. Yeah, I can do it.







Catch yah later, love!

Labels: bad/happy day, crap, emotions, friends, friends and laughter, heartbreak, love thing, random, relapse, RENT, rush, school, school woes

LSS OF THE DAY: "LOVE HEALS"

From: RENT[Movie/Musical]

No matter how much I want to choke on those words, I still love the song; because it came from RENT.






My head's aching a bit.






I'm being random, can you tell?





Tony's carrying a virus because the darn computer shop I went to had it and now whenever I plug Tony in, it comes out! UGH!






I still feel sleepy.





Papers, papers, papers, papers, papers, papers, papers......






After seeing him last Friday, I hope that I NEVER see him again. Everytime I do see him, I feel as if my heart's being clenched with iron fingers. It hurts so badly, I can't breathe.






The presentation I made for our assignment in Computer was okay; subject? My friends, of course.






Dad, Pats and Monsi came to visit me yesterday, and I had fun with them. I miss them already. Albert was right; I need to go home once in a while to "recharge my batteries", as he said.






I'm using the computer here in the computer lab. Our professor hasn't showed up yet so I'm making this post. Stat after this; great. I don't want to know my score from the last quiz. I'm certain that I failed it. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN.






I answered a lot of surveys on Multiply. I like doing that. Feel free to check them out: http://lauredilian.multiply.com






Gonna play football again on Wednesday.





I ate a whole pack of cookies yesterday and today. And I still want more. I hate being depressed. Does anybody eles have cookies? Or chocolate? I'm desperate!!






P.E. tomorrow; is it the last meeting already? I haven't researched on the rules of them game yet.

"There are those who shield their hearts, those who quit before they start. Who frozen up the part of them that feels.." - Love Heals, RENT

Labels: crap, depression and tears, random, relapse, RENT