LSS OF THE DAY: "TANGO: MAUREEN"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

I listened to that the whole day yesterday; I really couldn't get enough of Joanne's beautiful voice.





I'm in the school library coz I'm saving on money.





I went to Baguio with ym relatives on Sunday and I just got back yesterday. The trip wasn't that long which surprised me a bit. It was like traveling from Dagupan to Manila; it didn't feel like we were coming from Baguio. I rode with Tito Jarius, Ate Menia and Kuya Abner since everyone else was left behind. Dad, Pats and Mon went straight to Dagupan, while Tita Marissa, Tita Melanie, Tita Inday, Tito Jim, Tita Vanessa, Tito John, Ally and Lauren followed around before lunch. I could have stayed with them but I think my Dad was concerned that I might get to the dorm late.





Had a lot of fun. It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo cold! I was already wearing pajamas, a long-sleeved shirt and socks but I was still shivering when I woke up. And it got even colder when I went upstairs for breakfast.





All my relatives (except for Tito Jarius and Tita Marissa) came from the States so I guess they're used to the cold.





I went to DS on Saturday. I missed talking to my friends there. Watched their field demo. I had a moment of weakness while I was filming it and I'd rather not mention it here 'coz I know someone will make fun of me for it. Ms. Manaois even talked me into riding the ferris wheel with her. I got a little dizzy after that since I wasn't really used to riding that thing. Nico had to drag me inside just to sit down so I could regain my equillibrium.






And speaking of Nico, I'm glad I have a friend like him. He's really nice and he makes me laugh. He's, in a word, malambing also. He likes to hold my hand in a very "sisterly-brotherly" way, since I do consider him as one of my "younger siblings" in school; and besides, I was classmates with is older brother in high school so that kinda makes our ties a bit stronger than the rest. Although some people thought that we were an "item" *cough*Chad!*cough*, we're just enjoying each other's company.





When Romeo came in with his family, he nudged me and told me that "there's your mother-in-law, sisters-in-law and brother-in-law"; even Jude (Romeo's brother) nudged him too, but I ignored them. There's nothing to say anyway.






I haven't made my lesson plan yet! I am in sooooooooooooooooo much trouble!







Well, I have to go. My classes start in thirty minutes.






'Til later, love!

Labels: family, friends, friends and laughter, past love and new hate, relapse, RENT, school, school woes

LSS OF THE DAY: "I'LL COVER YOU"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Yeah, yeah. You know the drill, sweetums.




*sigh*




..what? Oh. Yeah.




*shakes head*





I'm getting sick. I have the sniffles now and my throat's starting to hurt again. Ugh.






Anyway..





It's hard..you know. Pretending to be happy, when deep inside, your dying. Sometimes I wish that I could just rip my heart out and throw it away so I won't feel anymore. Sometimes I wish I don't have a soul so I could simply walk around, lifeless; that way I wouldn't feel the hurt, the shame, even the happiness that engulfs me. Sometimes, I wish, I'm not alive. I'm sick and tired of feeling. I'm sick and tired of EVERYTHING.






No, no, no..







Stop it already, Lui. You have to stop..

Labels: depression and tears, love thing, relapse, RENT

LSS OF THE DAY: "OUT TONIGHT"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

It's been too long. And I'm sorry I can't do smileys.






It's been a hectic week; our preliminary examinations just finished in Friday and we are so drained. I don't think I did well in some of my tests because, well, I didn't feel like studying for them. Sure, it's normal for me to be lazy, but this is different. I dunno. Maybe I'm just not interested in my subjects now; I find Statistics immensely boring, I find Biology a complete waste of time and I even find English dull; I know, I always loved English. But I so don't like my professor there. What the *beep* is going on?!







So anyway, after our last exam on Friday (Biology), me, Meg, Sarah, Mau, Albert and Jigo went to Trinoma to unwind. On the way there, it was a non-stop laughfest in the car. It seemed to me that everybody was dying to release all that pent-up tension because of the exams. We went to Red Box and did karaoke. Sarah recorded us singing "Out Tonight" from RENT; it's on my Multiply so feel free to check it out. I had so much fun with those guys!






I went straight to Fairview after we left Trinoma. This morning, well yesterday morning, Maui and I went to Galleria to look for a dress that I could wear for our cousin's wedding. We had to look through a few shops before we found the perfect one. I'll post the picture when I get the chance. Then we bought shoes that'll match with it. We met up with Tito Jarius and Tita Marissa i Maui's condo before we headed out to Greenbelt to watch a play, "Tuesdays with Morrie". I was a bit worried that they might not do the book justice, and I love that book. But after watching it, I had tears in my eyes. They made it so well and the actors, Jose Marie Avellana as Morrie and Bart Guingona as Mitch Albom, were absolutely fantastic.






We went to Rustan's after because we had to buy our cousin's wedding gift. On our way there, Tito Jarius got a call from their driver saying that there was an accident at home. One of the workers who was doing the renovation on the deck on the second floor, got electrecuted. He was holding an aluminum bar when he got sucked up by the wires because of the electrical charge or something. He actually spun in mid-air before falling to the ground. He was rushed to the hospital. He's okay now. But according to them, his burns look horrible; third-degree burns. Ouch.






Thank goodness he survived. I consider that as a miracle.






I wish I could say more, but unfortunately, it's pretty late and I have to get up early in the morning.







Catch yah later, love!

Labels: family, friends and laughter, hold up

KILL ME ALREADY




..if you hate me so much. You'll be doing everybody a favor; trust me on that one.

CONGRATULATIONS TO KATHLEEN ROSE RAYOS FOR PASSING UPCAT!

I am so proud of you! Love you, girl!

Labels: friends, love

LSS OF THE DAY: "FINALE B"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

How long has it been? Feels like forever to me






Honestly, everything's a blur to me now. I feel like I'm walking in a daze; everything seems so real, yet, unreal at the same time. Am I making any sense?





Sometimes I ask myself if what would have happened if I never agreed to take him back? Would things be different?





I used to love my solitude; those rare times when I could just kick back, relax and let my mind wander. But when that does happen, I find myself drifting back to our last conversation and before I even realize what's happening, the tears start falling.





It pains me to think that he's found a--replacement for me, for lack of better word; and after all that we've been through, he now only sees, and loves me, as a "friend". Now, tell me that doesn't hurt..I dare you.





One of my friends said that he's not over me; yeah, right. And he expects me to believe that? What a load of crap.





Try as I might, I can't get him off my mind. Somehow he's always being pushed back in. I've tried everything; making new friends, "flirting" with other guys (not THAT kind of flirting; my cousin says that I'm already flirting with them and I don't even know it!), even eyeing guys from a distance. But none of them work. At the back of my mind it's always, "But he doesn't have eyes just like him.." or "He's not as tall as him.." or "He's not as skinny as him..". I want that voice to just SHUT UP and leave me be.





I'm being incredibly stupid just by saying that I still love him, even though deep down, we'll never get back together again. There's something about him that makes it extremely difficult for me to move on. Maybe it was the time we spent together? Or all the fights, laughter and tears that we shared? Two years is a pretty long time too, you know..





I never thought that I'd reach a point in my life where I would feel this way; I'm so torn and utterly confused. I wish that this would never happen again.





I wish that the pain will go away, and never come back. This one heartbreak is enough to last me a lifetime, thank you very much.






"He doesn't love me..he doesn't love me.." Yeah, I should keep telling myself that.





I apologize for this post. I seriously need to get my life back in order before I kill myself. I'm serious. I'm depressed enough as it is..

Labels: depression and tears, growing pains, heartbreak, love thing, past love and new hate, RENT, shitty

LSS OF THE DAY: "WILL I"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

It has been awhile..and I miss updating. And I CAN'T use smileys. Really, really sad.





I'm in Antipolo right now, with my relatives. My cousin, Nina, and I met up in Jollibee Philcoa yesterday since we both didn't know how to get here by commuting so we asked Kuya Aga (our tito's driver) to pick us up from there. And our cute little niece, Isabella, has been keeping us busy; we've been playing with her non-stop last night.




Wait...I have a lot more to say but I gotta go coz Isabella's been bugging me to play with them for awhile and I don't want to disappoint her.





Catch yah later, love!

Labels: family, relapse, RENT

LSS OF THE DAY: "GOODBYE LOVE"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

New Year, yes, but same old habits





I'll pick up from where I left off; the Baguio trip. It was a lot of fun! Went horseback riding, bike riding and boat riding in the rain. My sister actually talked to her horse! My horses' name was Spirit





Skip to New Year's Eve: baked cookies! Just check out my Multiply. My cousin Andrea and I didn't sleep at all. Until now my head is still aching due to lack of sleep.





I just finished reading "The Golden Compass" by Philip Pullman; it's quite nice. I'm reading the second book now.





I know, not very helpful, but I'm feeling a little depressed since school starts tomorrow; I know, who starts school on a Thursday? It's completely ridiculous!





So....I gotta go pack.





Bye for now, love!

Labels: books, family, holidays, RENT, school, shitty

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I konw, I know, I haven't been updating lately; I already made a post but I'm not done with it yet because I've been so busy enjoying my Christmas break.




I swear, I'll update soon.




I'll miss you, love!