LSS OF THE DAY: "I'LL COVER YOU"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

The year's almost over; and to think that I should be over this by now, right? WRONG





Before I start to break down and bawl my eyes out, let me tell you guys about our Paskuhan since I didn't say anything about it. On that morning, December 19, upon waking up, the first thing that I said was, "OUCH"; why? Well, it was my first day of "that girl thing" and it hurt like hell! I couldn't move for the next thirty minutes or so, I just laid there on the top-bunk of our double-decker bed and fought the urge to scream my ass off. When I finally got down, I took a long bath and left to withdraw money from the bank before meeting up with my friends.





I got some bad news: Grizzly Bear couldn't make it. Oh well.





Once we were all there, we exchanged gifts and took pictures; as night fell, we watched the fireworks, grabbed some stuff to eat, sat on the grass in the field, watched Parokya Ni Edgar as they played; stuff like that.





There are a few things that I learned that night:

• When two of your friends are drunk, keep your distance or they'll breathe you to death;
  
• Never leave anyone out, even if they're busy doing something else; always ask if they could come;
  
• Don't wear too low-cut shirts;
  
• Don't wear bright-colored shirts if you know that your gonna sweat a lot;
  
• Bring a trashbag;
  
• Bring lots of extra cash;
  
• SLEEP AS MUCH AS YOU CAN THE DAY BEFORE SAID EVENT.
  

Yeah, two of my friends had I-S-S-U-E-S that day and they seriously need to sort them out by next year. They reeked of alcohol when they met up with us and it was disgusting.





And yes, we used trash bags to lie down on the grass since it was so...soily? Wait, is that even a word? Anyway, we sat there, as Parokya Ni Edgar played. It was almost midnight when we went home.





I went to Dagupan the next day.





I finally have the sheet music of "RENT" and "WICKED"; thanks Tita Beth!. Now all I need is a piano..





I got a henna tattoo! Just check it out on my Multiply.





On the 22nd, me and my family went to Manila to spend Christmas with our relatives in Fairview. Our relatives from Davao got there before us and there was a lot of greetings flying back and forth. That night, we watched this show called "The Wanders" in PAGCOR; it was amazing! All the stunts, the cute Chinese guys, the costumes, the cute Chinese guys, the songs, the cute Chinese guys and, oh yeah, the cute Chinese guys. I swear, my mouth was open through the entire show.





The next day, after hearing Mass, we played a game called "Cranium" which is sort of like a mixture of charades, trivia, drawing, clay-molding and a lot more stuff and it was really fun. Then at night we went to Trinoma, where we splurged on books, ate at Conggo Grille, and splurged again on TimeZone.





On Christmas Eve, our cousins from Antipolo came over for lunch and we had a game of Cranium, again. Had lots of fun, as always. We had a great dinner that night, then we opened our gifts and played games before hearing Mass. When we got back, we did a little bit of "witchcraft": runes, tarot cards; and as strange as it may sound, the runes and tarot cards that I got were--well--accurate to what I was feeling at the time. I won't say what they read, but let me just say that I was a bit freaked out.





And this morning, my family and the people from Davao went back to Dagupan..and here we are!





I had a great Christmas; I can't wait for next year





But sadly, my happiness isn't meant to last for long...





I know I shouldn't care. I know I should be getting over him; but no matter how hard I try, I just can't. It's like he's got this really firm grip on me that makes it hard for me to breathe. I was talking to him the other day and I asked him, just in passing, if he liked someone else; when he said that he might be starting to like someone else, I think my heart shirveled and burnt itself. I fought back the tears that threatened to fall even if I wanted to let it out so badly. I kept on thinking to myself, "You shouldn't care..you shouldn't care..". I wish I could say that it helped, but I would be lying to myself if I did.






After all this time, when I thought that I have started to move on, I crash back to where I started. I want to get over him so badly; I want this pain to end. This is so infuriating.






She's right; I'm trash. I don't deserve to be happy. Thank you for pointing that out; I needed a reality check.

With you my heart will always stay. With you my thoughts will be every day. You remain to be the one that I regret letting get away. Why didn't I say what I needed to say? You are the one I will always use my wishes on. You are the one I will always wish was never gone. I'll constantly wonder what went wrong. I'll forever think of what I could've did that was never done.

I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me, and I guess that's what hurts the most.

I hate you...and then I love you...it's like I want to throw you off a cliff....then rush to the bottom to catch you



Even if my heart should call out your name in the rain. Even if these arms should want to embrace you again. And even if I’m all cried out and no longer in pain... I’ll never fall in love that way again.

You said you couldnt stand to see my heart broken
... so when you broke it, did you close your eyes?

Try not to wonder about what might have been, ‘cause that was then and we have taken different roads. We can’t go back again, there’s no use giving in. And there’s no way to know, what might have been.

Loving is so short and forgetting so long.

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime

I wish I never said good bye... I wish I never let it die... but I did, and now all I want to do is cry

Things just keep getting better and better, eh?





Well, now it's time for me to lock myself up in my room, and cry my eyes out.





But before I leave:

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Alright, now that that's over with..





See you later, love.

Labels: crap, depression and tears, family, friends, friends and laughter, love thing, relapse, RENT, school