LSS OF THE DAY: "RENT"

From: RENT [Musical/Movie]

Be warned--this is gonna be an emo post.






I just can't stand it anymore! Why is he acting so indifferent? Can't he see that he's making me suffer more? Sure, it was nice of him to ask me if I'm going to the Graduation of our Seniors tomorrow, but he could have at least finished our conversation! I hate it when people leave me hanging without saying "goodbye", especially if the conversation was getting interesting. Sometimes I just want to smack him for being so oblivious to what's going on; maybe that might knock some sense into him.






I'll admit that I'm weak when it comes to him. I can't stop myself from opening up to him or spilling me heart out; it comes naturally, really, especially if I feel different for the person on question. I just really hate it when he thinks that everything's "okay" between us then he'll start acting like nothing's happened. Well, that "nothing" pushed me to the brink of my sanity, made me wander aimlessly, made me shed tears, and worst of all, BROKE MY HEART. Yes, my heart got broken--YET AGAIN.






This afternoon, while I was listening to the song "Will I" from RENT, I started crying; I couldn't help it. I wanted to scream, I wanted to pull my hair, I wanted to cry and cry and cry until my eyes dried up; but I didn't. I just let it all out through singing along while I allowed the tears to fall.






I love him. I love him. I love him. I can't get over him. What the hell is wrong with me?!






We NEVER got together, and yet I still have that hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach after a break-up. How did I get so emotionally attached to someone I never had a real relationship with? I want to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, move on, and never look back. But everytime I pick up a piece, I drop it again; and when I move forward, I keep looking over my shoulder. I can't stop. I can't stop..







Now, everybody, SING WITH ME!

..will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
- "Will I", RENT



This heart is not the first heart broken,
My eyes are not the first to cry,
I'm not the first to know,
There's just no gettin' over you
I know I'm just a fool who's willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see,
There's nothin' else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying "fool, forget him",
My heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
- "Hopelessly Devoted To You", GREASE


If I loved you,
Time and again I would try to say
All I'd want you to know.
If I loved you,
Words wouldn't come in an easy way
Round in circles I'd go!
Longin' to tell you,
But afraid and shy,
I'd let my golden chances pass me by!
Soon you'd leave me,
Off you would go in the mist of day,
Never, never to know how I loved you
If I loved you.
- "If I Loved You", CAROUSEL

*sigh* I really, REALLY need some sort of distraction or something. I seriously need to get him out of my head.







Damn. I'm falling apart..again.

Labels: crap, depression and tears, love thing, RENT, shitty