Tuesday, June 12, 2007
@ 8:50 PM
LSS OF THE DAY: "THE INQUISITION" BY MEL BROOKS
It's so funny! Mel Brooks is a bloody genius! You people gotta watch it! I got the link from YouTube -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAVJ9ZyghlA
There's been a change of plan. I'm going to the dorm tomorrow; apparently, my Tita thought that since I have nothing to do there anyway, I might as well stay over for another night and go to the dorm tomorrow. I am so grateful for her suggestion
I woke up this morning, alone, in my cousin's room (she had to leave early because she had classes) and for the first time in a long time, I cried. I cried, and cried, and cried, until I couldn't cry anymore. For the past few weeks I've been dreading my return to Manila. Sure, I have to fulfill my educational requirements so I could have a good life when I get older. But now, now..I'm not so sure if I want to stay here any longer. I've been feeling depressed since June came around; I knew that it was only a matter of time before I leave the comfort and safety of my home and venture into the big city, by myself. I know that I have relatives here who I can lean on, but they aren't there for me all the time, even if they want to. And my friends and family's two hundred kilometers away from me; so, yes, I am alone
.I know that I should be used to it by now; after all, I have spent a whole school year in a dorm where they charge you for everything, a school where they let you go about your business with people just passing you by without a second glance, a curriculum which was harder for me to digest and get into my system, a schedule that sometimes gave me huge problems that I wanted to jump off a building, a heartbreak that threatened to end my life as I know it, and facing people with the most plastic faces I have ever had the priviledge of meeting. I've been through a lot of stuff last year, but all of them were wiped away in an instant after seeing the St. Raymond's building looming threateningly above me during enrollment. I felt so small, insignificant and it felt like the first day of school all over again; where you feel awkward walking down the hallways and too shy to ask for directions to your classroom. So, tomorrow, will be my first day of college, all over again...
I hate to have to go to school tomorrow. I want to go back to Dagupan; but I have to suck it all in and go on. I have no choice. Another long year's waiting to be experienced and told; all I have to do is to fend for myself when its needed and hold my head up high, even if I'm all torn and broken on the inside.
Alright, enough of that crap. Since I had no plans for today, and my last day of freedom, I asked my Tita if I could accompany her when she goes out and she agreed. First we went to the Fort because she had to attend a meeting there; I asked to be dropped off at Bonifacio High Street in Serendra (or is it the other way around?); because, Krispy Kremes was there
. So for a full hour (or more) I stayed there, eating donuts and and drinking Pepsi. When she told me that she was done with the meeting, we went to the place where one of her husband's clients was and she asked me to hand over some documents to the secretary of the client. I had to ask what floor the guy was on because even my Tita wasn't very sure where it was. When they told me where it was, I hopped onto the elevator and slowly made my ascent to the fifth floor. When I got there, I handed over the document to the secretary then she made me write my Tito's name as sender before I went back to the elevator. It took me a moment to realize that I didn't know which floor I came from. Since there were other people in the elevator with me I didn't want to act like I was new to that place so I just pushed one of the buttons at the bottom of all the other buttons and waited. When I came off the floor, I realized that I was in the wrong floor; so I waited for the next elevator down. When it came, I pushed another button, hoping that that was it. But the moment that the doors opened, I knew that I was still in the wrong floor; because I got off at the parking lot which was so NOT the floor from where I came from. I stepped out of the elevator anyway and acted as if I was looking for someone as the door clattered shut behind me. I nervously pushed the UP button and waited for the next elevator. When it finally came, I pushed the button below the parking lot button; and to my immense relief, I was on the right floor. I ran outside, grateful that I didn't have to spend the rest of my life trying out the other buttons and live the rest of my life there. I related the whole story to my Tita and we just laughed about it because she had the same experience before. Then we drove off to the IBC-5 station because she had to talk to someone; I waited for her in the car. About twenty minutes later she came back and we drove back home.So, this may be my last post for awhile. As I said in my previous post, I will still answer your tags and I'll update from time to time, but not as much as before. I will miss this. Oh well. Time to snap back to reality.
By the way, one of my classmates from high school sent me this message just awhile ago:
"You know your in love when you walk around with that goofy smile and you can't help but hug everyone.
Life's supposed to be difficult. If it wasn't, we would never learn anything.
If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, then stop accepting crap and demand somethin' more"
True
. I just discovered the use of the blockquote tag yesterday. Me so slow! Hahahaha!Alrightie then, I'll stop now. 'Til next time everyone. 'Til then, keep hittin' my tagboard and keep on leaving comments and I'll answer you guys as soon as I can
Take care everyone!
Labels: acceptance, depression and tears, hiatus, KRISPY KREMES, Manila life