<<LET ME FALL>>

2009-08-15T17:40:00.002+08:00

I've been so busy lately. Sorry, everyone.

I would like to give a huge THANK YOU to the people who dropped by and left messages on my chatbox. I'll give you guys a shout out when I have more time.

Gotta dash!

Spread the love, everyone :)

2009-05-20T00:13:00.002+08:00

I know it's been a while. Okay, not just a while, if you know what I mean.

I dunno. My books have been keeping me occupied and I just feel downright lazy to update. I'm not making any promises that I won't keep. So. There. Haha!

But I will TRY.

Take care, everyone!

2009-01-20T01:39:00.000+08:00

What is this feeling, so sudden, and new?

Yesterday (January 17) was the last day of exams and I kept remembering what one of my friends said while we were waiting for the professor to come in: "Lui, your blooming". My answer: "I'm going home later".

I swear, I don't think I'll ever get used to the fact that I practically live in Manila already. I still pine for my family, my room, my books, and everything that I left behind. I guess it's just one of those things that will forever stay with me for as long as I live. That'll be the death of me, I'm sure.

As we pulled away from the bus station, a thousand thrills rushed through my veins. I think that was the only time that it totally sunk in. I was going home.

The first part of the trip was a blur to me. Traffic was horrible, as always. I think it took us almost an hour to get to NLEX, when it would have normally just taken us 10-15 minutes. That's how bad it was. I remember being tired, and yet, I couldn't bring myself to calm down to rest. It didn't even bother me that I was expected to stay put for five hours with only Tony (my iPod) to keep me company.

I felt the moment I laid eyes on you..

When we stopped in Dau, the passenger sitting beside me got up and literally jumped off the bus, rummaging through her bag in a rush and almost knocking over the conductor. I wondered vaguely that at least she didn't trip and fall on her face. Shrugging, I turned to face the window, where I was sitting. I was swaying slightly to the song that Tony was playing for me, What You Own from RENT, when I heard someone ask, "Miss, is this seat taken?".

I looked up. And my heart stopped.

A guy was standing in the aisle, he looked about my age, wearing a white jacket and jeans, carrying a blue backpack, as other passengers were passing around him to get to their seats. My seat was the second row from the door so it's pretty easy to see me. And my vacant seat. And to top it all off, he was smiling. It didn't help that he looked oh-so-cute.

I blinked. I couldn't even trust myself to speak, so I just shook my head, trying to smile a little bit, despite my growing nervousness.

He took the seat, and I ALMOST turned my back on him, suddenly finding the trash can outside the window very interesting. But I could still see what he was doing from his reflection; he placed his bag under the seat, asked the lady in front of him to straighten out her's out since he was almost getting squished, then he leaned back.

My mind was in total confusion, my heart not faring any better. That feeling of light-headedness overwhelmed me and I tried to stop myself from letting my imagination get the best of me.

Once we were back on the road, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, as if someone was watching me. At this point, the conductor turned on the TV so I pretended to be so engrossed in Kakasa Ka Ba Sa Grade 5? when I was really concentrating on my peripheral vision.

My pulse is rushing..

He was staring at me. He was really staring at me. I started to get uncomfortable. I remember opening my bag to put Tony back in, and he continued to watch me. I began to wonder if he was thinking of snatching my bag so I hugged it closer, pretending to ignore his very presence.

Needless to say, it didn't really work. I tried not to squirm too much. I caught him staring at me more than twice. And again. And again. And the thing is, I still didn't know what to feel; annoyed, flattered, pissed, elevated or whatever.

Stopover at Tarlac. He got off, but he still kept looking back at me, even though he was already walking away. I stayed put, not wanting to test what was left of the feeling on my legs. I silently prayed that this was his stop, so my emotions would die down and leave me at peace. I took a few deep breaths, allowing my nerves to relax a bit, but even I knew that it wouldn't last because I saw him standing outside. Looking at me.

We held each other's gaze for I don't know how long, but I do know that I was the first one to look away. My heart was spluttering like crazy and I was ashamed at myself for even feeling that way. And for a GUY, no less. I'm not supposed to get giddy! How pathetic.

He went back in, and I thanked the high heavens that I was in control of my myself. I heard him sniff and cough. The bus was pretty cold, so it didn't surprise me that he should be feeling really crappy. I felt sorry for the guy, so I offered the Strepsils I always kept in my bag; he refused, but with a smile.

My head is reeling..

We were quiet for a while. Then I noticed him take out his cell phone and twirl it around his fingers. He locked and unlocked the keypad a few times, even though there were no new messages and he wasn't texting anybody. I could tell that there was an inner battle raging inside him, but I could only guess what was the cause.

Then he suddenly blurted out: "Can I have your number?"

Now that caught me off guard, but good thing I was still managed to think straight.

"Why?" I asked.

He had the grace to smile shyly at me, before answering. "Because....."

My face is flushing..

He left that word hanging, and I was momentarily torn between what I thought was right, and what was wrong. I weighed my options. On one hand, if I gave him my number, I'd gain a friend. I mean, if we were taking the same bus, that should be sort of like a link. And if not, then nothing happens. I didn't think that I'd lose anything. If things end badly, or he didn't turn out to be what I expected him to be, I have none to blame for myself. It's a risk, but I'm willing to take it. So I threw caution to the winds.

"Okay".

He handed me his phone, I typed my number, and put my nickname. No first name, no last name, no e-mail address. Just that.

When I gave it back, I noticed that he stared at my number for a while, then saved and re-saved it. The next time I looked, my name appeared three times.

"Where are you from?" he asks.

"Dagupan. But I study in Manila". Crap. Shouldn't have said that. SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.

"Where did you go to high school?" - Him.

"Dominican School". - Me.

"Ahh. So you know Dianne Domalanta?" - Him.

"Dianne? Joanna Marie?" - Me.

"Yeah". - Him.

"She was my classmate. How do you know her?" - Me.

"She's my first cousin". - Him.

Wow. My already small world just got smaller.

"Where do you study?" I asked.

"Clark. I'm studying to become a pilot. So, is this your real name?" Ooh. Very inquisitive.

"No. It's just my nickname". Ooops. Stupid nerves. Making me blabber.

"What's your real name, then?"

I shook my head. "I don't like people calling me by my first name". Which is very true.

"Ahh. I see. That's okay. I'll ask Dianne when I get home". Ugh. CRAP.

"And yours is?"

"Adrian".

The bus was already moving at this time, and we fell silent again. I continued to look out the window, and I still felt him looking at me. It was a while before I realized that he was dozing off or probably already asleep, his jacket draped over his head. I sighed with relief. Finally. No more staring.

I felt my phone vibrate in my bag, so I took it out and found that I had three unread messages. I probably didn't feel the first two come in. The recent one was from my Mom, asking where I was. The next one was a forward from one of my friends. And the last one was from an unregistered number. It said: "Good night. I couldn't stay awake anymore. Haha".

I smiled a bit. Okay, he's shy.

What is this feeling?

We continued on our way, and he slept on. When we were in Urdaneta, I was beginning to wonder if he was aware that we were nearing his stop. I knew where his cousin lived, and he did mention that they'll see each other, so I assumed that that's where he's heading. My musings were interrupted when he stirred in his sleep, because his jacket was slipping off his head. He readjusted himself, then his eyes snapped open, catching me by surprise. He smiled a bit, but I didn't know how to react. So I tried to smile back. I don't think it looked that convincing.

Urdaneta passed by. Sta. Barbara loomed ever closer. He got his bag from under the chair and set it on his lap. He continued to cast a few glances at me.

Then he stood up, faced me, and said, "Bye", which I returned. I watched as he got off, then he stood outside, looked up at me, and waved. I only copied him half-heartedly.

When he was out of my line of vision, I don't know why, but I smiled. It got bigger, and bigger, and bigger. I felt my heart swell and burst. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. What the hell was up with me?!

Fervent as a flame..

For the rest of the trip, I re-played our conversation. Everything that passed between us. His shy glances. His stare.

Looking back on it now, I can't help but scold myself for falling into something like that. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. Part of me knew that it was the wrong thing to do, but I went with it anyway. Normally, I'd just say "no" straight up, but there was something about him...

I really can't help but wonder--why him? Why then? Why? What was that about?

I tried to wake myself up, convinced that I was dreaming. I wasn't normally like that so this sudden change of attitude was the last thing I expected. It was sort of new to me, since I haven't felt that way in a long time.

And, yes, it was the first time that anyone's ever asked for my number that way so I really didn't know how to react. It was spontaneous. It was different. It was---refreshing.

Does it have a name?

I remembered the draft of Midnight Sun that I read some time last year, and what Edward Cullen said: "Could a dead, frozen heart, beat again? It felt like mine could". That pretty much sums up what I was feeling.

Is it----possible?

Ye---No. No. No. No. NO!

And just when I thought that my day was finally over, I was wrong. I got a text message that same night, from a certain someone, asking for my forgiveness. This certain someone was my "almost" last year, that crashed and burned. We haven't been on very good terms since then, but we're okay now.

I'm beginning to wonder if Fate's got something planned for me. I'm not looking forward to that, though. I have enough trouble in my life to last me a millenia, thank you very much.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. This shouldn't be happening.

********************************************************************

Wow. How long did it take me to finish this? Hahaha! :D

I'm so not good with narratives. Sorry if I didn't make much sense :))

*Song featured: What Is This Feeling - WICKED

2009-01-08T12:48:00.008+08:00

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Talk about abandoned, huh?

But anyway, I'm back in school, (back to REALITY's more like it), and as always, got a lot of sutff to do. Pre-lim exams are next week and I'm forcing myself to feel the pressure just so I can actually get myself to do something useful. So far, it isn't working, but I'm still trying.

Rehearsals. AGAIN. But not for C'EST A NOUS. I'm beginning to doubt whether we're really gonna have a repeat perfomance but I'm not gonna stop hoping for that. Remember what I mentioned about our major production? Yeah, that one. I'm just gonna be in one scene where I have to say lines and I'll be parto f the chorus in other scenes. I wasn't eexpecting to be a performer for this production like the last one, but it seems to me that I'm doomed to be one forever. Not that I'm complaining or anything.

As much as I want to update all the time, I just can't. But I can promise to make my entries as length-y as possible when I do.

Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. PRESSURE. PRESSURE. PRESSURE!

Nope. Still not feeling it.

Ghad, what is wrong with me?!

2009-01-01T22:12:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!

2008-12-23T00:42:00.004+08:00

If you want to know what's the latest news with me, you have to check out my Multiply site. Unfortunately, most of the contents are only open to my contacts, so I suggest you get one yourself if you don't.

But I will say this:

Goodbye to you. Goodbye to everything that I knew. You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold on to

My already broken heart is currently breaking again. Slowly. VERY slowly.

I guess I could spare a few pictures. Just a few.

*******************************************

Our feet after an activity during the Sensitivity Training

My team: Team Kamandag

My bag, with mt team mates' and facilitators' names

Yeah, big bag.

*******************************************

Yeah, that's me. For the show, C'EST A NOUS.

Look for me.

Here too.

*******************************************

Promotional poster for the major production.

*******************************************

Christmas party. 3BES1

*******************************************

I'll update when I feel like it. Sorry.

2008-11-28T15:01:00.001+08:00

I WATCHED TWILIGHT

..and I LOVED it.

Rehearsals are getting harder and more demanding. But I'm still enjoying myself.

Dancing through life, mindless and careless...

2008-11-25T13:26:00.002+08:00

I just had a great weekend with my relatives in Antipolo. I swear, I don't think I'll ever meet greater people than them. I love them with all my heart and with all my soul. I miss them already.

Yesterday, I got back from Antipolo and I couldn't help but say, "back to reality".

But then again, what is imagination? What is reality? Credit goes to Professor Guevarra

I am going to be a godmother soon. I can't wait!

Looking at it now, I really think that maybe I am trying to kill myself; very, very, slowly. I can't go into detail now. Maybe some other time.

Somebody's forgotten how to trust
Somebody's dying for love
Not too far from here

It may be a stranger's face
But I'm praying for Your grace
To move in me and take away the fear
'Cause somebody's hurting
Not too far from here

I really must dash. So many papers to write and submit before those darn deadlines.

Killing slowly; but not dying fast enough.

2008-11-18T11:05:00.003+08:00

Twilight's showing pretty soon. I've heard rumors that they might show in on November 21 instead of the 26th? Is that right? Gad, I do hope so!

It's been pretty hectic, since the second semester started. Lots of research and stuff. And, oh, the horror! Professor Elear is giving us hell once again. I have a feeling that we're being punished for the way we behaved last semester..

I am so loving Professor Ramos. He's waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than Senora Ferrer.

We had an acting workshop last Sunday. It was so much fun! I got to spend time with my orgmates and I made new friends. I miss them already. I wonder when I'll be able to visit the office.

Auditions for our major production, Across the Universe, starts tomorrow. I. still debating with myself if I should go tomorrow or on Saturday. STUPID SCHEDULE. And I wanna make my coach, Kuya Eco, proud. He's got a website, by the way. He does a bit of comedy there --> Flippish

We had a speech thing yesterday for Training. I got a 98.

BOOKS OVER CLOTHES

My new motto, by the way. *wink*

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you'll notice that I don't have the "LSS OF THE DAY" thing on top of every post. I'm gonna give that up for a while.

I'm gonna meet up wuth my cousin, Pao, on Thursday. Thank goodness I don't have class then. Professor Tayao informed us last week that he wouldn't meet us. Good timing, eh?

And now I have to go. Sorry for being blunt. I'll make up for this next time.

Adios, amigos!

2008-11-07T12:24:00.001+08:00

First day of school was NOVERMBER 5, 2008. And I will blab about it some other time.

Be patient with me, my dear.

2008-11-04T13:34:00.004+08:00

Gee, talk about abandoned. Sorry about that, loves, I've just been really busy enjoying my semestral break. But it officially ends tomorrow. CRAP.

I don't wanna go home back, honestly. I'm gonna get homesick again. I do not want to cry myself to sleep every night. But, yeah, that's life, so I gotta suck it up.

I've got a terrible case of writer's block. I promise to finish my story before the year is over.

Kuya Pao texted me awhile ago telling me that he saw the SUPER NERDA plug on HEROTV. We don't even have that channel! But thank goodness some of my orgmates managed to upload it on Youtube. And in that plug alone, I saw myself about four or five times. I'm so excited!

By the way, you won't believe how horrible our schedule for this semester's gonna be. Here:

*******************************************
MONDAY
PSY 206: 12:00nn-3:00pm
BES 203: 6:00pm-9:00pm [Crap]

TUESDAY - NO CLASSES

WEDNESDAY
LIT 104: 1:00pm-3:00pm
RESM/PW: 3:00-6:00

THURSDAY
POL 221: 6:00pm-9:00pm [Crap. Crap]

FRIDAY
FIL 3: 3:00pm-6:00pm
SPANISH: 6:00pm-9:00pm [Crap. Crap. CRAP]

SATURDAY
BES 202: 4:30pm-7:30pm [Not 9pm, but still, it's a Saturday for crying out loud!!!!]
*******************************************

What did I tell you? CRAP.

I thought I was over you. I really did. But now, I'm not so sure anymore..

I must have seen every single video that's related to Twilight. Sorry, fanatic.

I'll try and update more often when I'm back in Manila. Emphasis on TRY.

Until next time!

2008-09-04T11:44:00.003+08:00

It's been forever!

I'm really sorry for not updating lately. It's either I'm too lazy to go to the nearest computer station or I'm too busy to go.

I'm excited about our production! Your looking at the new member of UST MEDIARTRIX. Do your research, dude, I don't have all day to explain.

I'm multi-tasking, yet again. I'm typing our report in Experimental Psychology AND updating a few stuff at the same time. Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaah.

I've been continuing my story, by the way. I wrote the next parts on my notebook and when I have time, I'll transfer them to my story blog; the URL is on my navigational bar.

'Til next time, my dear!

Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats. Life goes on, but I'm gone. 'CAUSE I DIE WITHOUT YOU.

2008-07-06T00:00:00.003+08:00

I know I haven't been updating in a while, but I've been pretty busy. I will update really soon. I'm working on my story right now.

I miss you all!

2008-06-09T00:54:00.003+08:00

Okay, so I'm still in denial about leaving for Manila on Tuesday, and school starting on Wednesday. Seriously, what person in their right mind would start school in the middle of the week? It's ludicrous!

I guess I'm more bummed out about the fact that I won't be able to go home once the school year officially begins. I do have ONE class on Saturday; and it's Math, too, would you believe it? Talk about good luck. Yeah, right. Whatever.

I think the only things that'll keep me from going insane are my friends, and that I'm going to meet other Twilight fans one of these days. I really am looking forward to it.

Goodbye free and unlimited internet time. I really am gonna miss staying up late surfing the net.

I won't be coming home. I won't be coming home. Holy crap. I wanna cry..

2008-06-07T23:23:00.004+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "THE LETTER"
Performed by: Carly Smithson and Michael Johns

Sorry I haven't been updating in a while.

I won't be updating my story blog until I get the GO signal from Blogger, because they think that it's a Spam Blog coz there's so much activity going on; I was editing the layout at the time. CRAP CRAP CRAP.

I must have read Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse more than a dozen times already. I can't wait for Breaking Dawn on August 2!

So, yeah, Patsy and I watched Lea Salonga's dress rehearsal at PICC, where I also met Richard Guttierez.

On my way home after enrollment, I got a message from Kuya Chuckie informing me that we were going to have a Behavioral Science Federation meeting (BehSciFed) on the 6th of June in De La Salle University. At first I told him that I wasn't so sure if I was going to attend since I wasn't able to go to the last one; but he insisted. So when I got home and asked Dad, he said YES :D

It did have one downside, though. The fare from Dagupan to Cubao got higher; it used to be 299php, but now it's 340php. What the heck happened?! And to make me feel even worse, I heard that the day I bought it was the day they first implemented that price-hike. CRAP.

The bus left around seven in the morning. The trip was pretty uneventful since I slept most of the way. Oh, wait, there's another downside; a guy, in his early 30's I think, sat beside me and he took up most of the space. He "spread" his legs apart--for lack of a better term--, if you know what I mean, and I got so uncomfortable that I was already leaning on the glass because his arm was touching MY arm. *shudder*

I got down at the bus terminal and went to Gateway; I think that was just my second time there. I hardly roam around Manila. I had a quick lunch at Buger King, then I met up with Kuya Chuckie. We took the LRT going to Recto, where we met up with Kuya Javi, then we took another LRT (a different line) going to Vito Cruz. We talked most of the way; actually, they were giving me the heads-up for my Junior year. They asked what subjects I have this semester then they started going through names of my possible professors and their teaching styles. They even advised me to find ways on how to keep myself awake if I ever we do end up with one of those droning old people.

Kuya Javi's the president of our Behavioral Science Society in UST so he was telling me about the different projects that they already have. Aside from the BES t-shirt, they're also going to make a BES jacket, BES bag and even a keychain. Lotsa merchandise, lotsa money go bye-bye. But he did promise that they're not going to release them at the same time. He and Kuya Chuckie even talked about the Sensitivity Training that they're going to facilitate for us in December; I'm already excited about it. Their still not sure on the venue and how much its gonna cost but they assured me that it was going to be so worth it. And they kept on repeating to me that we should learn from our Sensi Training because we'll be the next facilitators to Sophomores when its their turn.

When we finally made it to La Salle, Czars, an incoming Sophomore who I first met at the Launching of the Federation, was already outside waiting for us. We were supposed to wait for Kuya Arden but it was almost two so we told him that he'll just meet us wherever we're going to be. The guard checked our IDs and then we finally went in. I gotta admit, it's a pretty nice campus; big and almost all the buildings were white. And almost everything was covered, not like in UST where you have to walk under the sun almost all the time. And that explains why my watch left a "shadow" on my left arm.

We just followed Kuya Chuckie since he knew his way around. It was my first time, and it was Kuya Javi's first time, too. It wasn't such a long walk but because of the heat it felt like we were walking for miles and miles. We were sweating so badly when we got in the building.

I was pretty psyched to see some of my old friends. The familiar faces that I saw first were Chui and Eunice. Chui was my partner in our first activity during the team building seminar last November and I considered him as one of my first friends at that time. Then I saw Carmel, who was also part of our team, and Jerdy, the president of the Behavioral Science Society of La Salle.

I was talking to Czars when Carmel held out her phone to me and said that Jan wanted to talk to me. I wasn't quite sure as to what she was getting at, but I took the phone anyway. Apparently, Jan just woke up when they called him and I even told him to go back to sleep. We only talked for a few minutes. When I gave the phone back, Chui asked me if Jan was coming and I told him that I didn't know; then he made a show of calling him again but I left him to it.

Kuya Arden arrived while I was talking to Jan, and when he saw me, he asked how I was. We started talking and I learned that he was also a big fan of musicals. He even got slightly jealous that I was able to meet Lea Salonga, but other than that, we were good. When I told him about some of my favorites, he told me that they did RENT when they were in second year as a requirement for their English subject; and he played Angel, the cross-dresser. He said that he was supposed to wear real stilettos for the role but he sprained his ankle so he used something else.

We continued talking even when we were inside the classroom. We had our own little world; Kuya Javi, Kuya Chuckie and Czars were in a separate universe. I'm pretty happy that at least someone likes the same music as I do that's not part of my family. Kuya Arden told me that he does theater sometimes and he offered to let me know if any auditions come up so I can join. Yipee!

Someone pointed out earlier that that wasn't going to be just a meeting, but sort of like a bonding session between the representatives of the three different universities. I think it was Jerdy who said that there are no school rivalries in that room (just in the UAAP, he added) and that we were one. YES!

The meeting officially started after a few minutes, after everyone from La Salle, UST and UPM (UP Manila) settled in. But right after we prayed, Carmel came up to me and handed me a piece of paper which read: "To Lui, From your Secret Admirer". She and Chui told me to open it right then and there, and when I did, I burst out laughing.

What was inside? ASK THEM :P

We first elected the officers and they are as follows:

BOARD OF REPRESENTATIVES FOR THE BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE FEDERATION:
Representative for External Affairs: Chris Abanador - DLSU
Representative for Internal Affairs: Maria Andrea Mandap - UPM
Representative for Academics: Czars Raquel - UST
Representative for Activities: Candice Melgar - UPM
Representative for Budget and Finance: Arden Lim - UST
Represnetative for Documentation: Kiko dela Cruz - UPM
Representative for Public Affairs: Ian Legarda - DLSU

Kuya Chuckie wanted me to run for a position, but I didn't want to.

We had an icebreaker after that. I won't tell you what we did, but I will tell you this:

NILE RIVER - historical, way of communication, avoids drought

Use your imagination ;)

The BoR held a meeting of their own, while the rest of us talked. And talked. And talked. And helped them out when they asked for our opinions. They finished around five-thirty.

I noticed something during the meeting. Hmmmm. Nah. I doubt it. I'm letting my imagination run away with me, again.

There was a band playing on our way out, and because Kuya Javi's eyes were fixed on them, he didn't notice that he was walking straight towards a pole; he hit his chest and his head. Tsktsktsk. But of course, all of us got a good laugh out of that.

Czars stayed behind because she had to wait for somebody so the guys and I headed to McDonald's, which was right beside La Salle. And again, lots of talking to going on. I think I have an idea on where our Sensitivity Training's gonna be. This is gonna be fuuuuuuuuuuun.

And again, we took the LRT going back to Recto, Kuya Arden got off at one of the stops, and another one going to Cubao. We got down ahead of Kuya Javi because he had a different stop. So it was just me and Kuya Chuckie again. He said he wasn't familiar with the area, therefore he didn't know where the bus station was so we walked around a little bit. Then he pointed towards the MRT, and sure enough, we were on the right track since the bus station was just below it. He was nice enough to accompany me to the overpass, and there we said goodbye.

And by this time, I was sweating really, really, badly from all the walking.

There was a line at the ticket booth, and I think the only times I've ever been stuck in a line was before Christmas break. Dad said it was because of the long weekend. I finally got a ticket and we left around eight-ish. I was so tired that I fell asleep as soon as we started moving. I opened my eyes once in a while, just to make sure that I don't pass Calasiao so I could text my Dad.

I arrived at the Dagupan terminal at one A.M.

Whew! My legs hurt. All that walking and standing finally took its toll on me. Oh well.

I had a great day. Tiring, but fun. And I miss my Kuyas. Say you miss me too! Hahaha!

A big, big, THANK YOU to everyone at the meeting. Especially to Kuya Javi, Kuya Arden and Kuya Chuckie. See you guys soon!

School's gonna start on the 11th. They could have made it on the 16th. DARN.

2008-05-29T22:08:00.003+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "HERE'S WHERE I STAND"
From: CAMP [Movie]

Enrollment yesterday. We were actually hoping that our schedule wouldn't be so bad, but after reading our registration forms, all our expectations crashed and burned.

I got some info from Doreen.

MONDAY:
11:00 A.M. - 2:00 P.M --> PSY 218; Group Dynamics
5:00 P.M. - 8:00 P.M. --> FIL 2 [Holy crap, I'm gonna die]
*Three-hour break? I guess I can deal with that.

TUESDAY:
10:00 A.M. - 1:00 P.M. --> APP; Art Appreciation [Hmmmm. I wonder what this is for]

WEDNESDAY:
10:00 A.M. - 1:00 P.M. --> SPN 1; Elementary Spanish. [I'm actually looking forward to this]
3:00 P.M. - 6:00 P.M. --> PSY 210; Experimental Psychology [As long as its not Prof. Psychotic who's gonna handle us then I'm cool with this]

THURSDAY:
FREEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

FRIDAY:
8:00 A.M. - 11:00 A.M. --> LIT 103 [YAY!]
3:00 P.M. - 6:00 P.M. --> BES 201; Psychometrics 1 [I think Kuya Sherwin mentioned something about this. I can't remember if it was a good thing or a bad thing]
*And what the hell am I supposed to do for four hours?!

SATURDAY:
1:00 P.M. - 4:00 P.M. --> MATH 604; Statistics for BES. [HOLY HELL. I'm really gonna die now]
*What a nightmare! Saturday class? And MATH? Their murdering me!!!

I'm kind of thankful that we won't be staying until nine in the evening. But still!

This is gonna be one hell of a year.

To my classmates of 3BES1 and to my batchmates of 3BES2, GOOD LUCK!

2008-05-28T02:05:00.005+08:00

For now, let the pictures do the talking:

------------

------------

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with LEA SALONGA

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with RICHARD GUITTIEREZ

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I promise to make a really long post next time. I have so much to share!

I'll be going to Manila in a few hours for my enrollment.

Once again, I updated my story blog --> CRAPPY, MUCH? CLICK HERE.

2008-05-26T23:48:00.001+08:00

WE HAVE ELECTRICITY! PRAISE THE LORD!

I have soooooooooooooooo much to say! But I'll wait until I've uploaded my pictures before I say anything.

Be patient with me, okay?

2008-05-24T16:12:00.005+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "DREAM BIG"
By: David Cook

So, yeah, Dagupan's under a "state of calamity".

Last Saturday, May 17, 2008, we were in my room since the blackout occurred around 3 in the afternoon and the wind was already howling. By seven in the evening, our house was already leaking and the sounds of things being blown around were still evident amid the gale outside.

By ten in the evening, the winds died down a bit, but the rain was pouring HARD.

Everything was quiet by two in the morning.

We were up and about by five, surveying the damage that dear old Cosme was nice enough to leave us; just to remember him by, I suppose. Two of our kalachuchi trees, which Patsy really, really loved, fell; one whose branch completely tore off, and the other uprooted. The backyard was like a swamp, complete with littered leaves everywhere and even a few broken branches from the duhat trees. A part of the wall that separated our house from the neighbor's, partly made of yero and wood, tore off.

My Dad said that you wouldn't think that a storm passed through the night before, because it was already sunny and pretty hot the day after the storm. Without all the debris lying around, of course.

When we went around the city, the damage was even worse. Billboards were already leaning against the buildings, glass shards on the street from broken windows, walls completely torn in two because of fallen trees, electric posts and wires dangling on the side of the street, branches being held up by electric wires, wooden signs blasted apart; scary, really. We took pictures and a video detailing the damage in both our houses in Tapuac and Bonuan but I can't upload them right now.

And the worst part is, we don't have electricity and water. They said it will probably take a week, but others are saying that it might take longer because the damage was worse than the last strong typhoon that hit Dagupan. We're praying that they'll stay true to the first one.

Of course, we didn't want to stay in a place with no electricity and water; the mosquitos are enough reason for us to scram. So me and Patsy left for Manila on Monday, May 19. And we're still here! Dad and our brother, Ramon, just got here last night. We were in Anitpolo last night and we just arrived in Fairview this morning. We'll be going back to Dagupan tomorrow.

So, we ran away from our cave, to civilization.

We've been enjoying ourselves so far. We've been to Lea Salonga's dress rehearsal! Could you believe that? More details soon, I promise.

And the winner of AMERICAN IDOL 2008 is................................................

*drumroll*

DAVID COOK!

Group performance by this year's top 12. I just had to put it here coz I love this bunch.

I had to wake up at 7:45 in the morning just to watch the live telecast at 8 :P Talk about obsessed!

To my fellow die-hard David Cook fans, LET'S CELEBRATE!

He cried! It was so cute!

Out of almost 93 million votes, he got 56%, while David Archuleta got 44%. Still pretty close. They mentioned the statistics at the beginning of the show so I got a wee bit nervous. But it was so worth it.

I fell in love with David Hernandez AND Michael Johns all over again. And of course, I fell in love with DAVID COOK even MORE, if that were possible.

Carly Smtihson's duet with Michael was really good. They could make a record together if they wanted to. And I was really happy when Ryan Seacrest said that they left the show when they didn't deserve to. Got that right!

Renaldo Lapuz made a come-back. He even had a marching band and cheerleaders! That was way beyond freaky. But I couldn't stop laughing. Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul got up onstage and danced with him but Simon Cowell, unsurprisingly, remained seated.

Carrie Underwood performed her latest single, "Last Name", much to the pleasure of Patsy, who threatened me to put it here, and yeah, she did great. And I love what she wore. But I think I liked the gown from Idol Gives Back better.

Bryan Adams performed with the men. That was HOOOOOOOT! I love him!

While Jordin Sparks was performing, Blake Lewis was in the audience singing along to her song. How cute is that?

George Michael was there, too. He sang "Praying For Time", which Carrie sang at Idol Gives Back. Patsy thinks that Carrie did better than him. And she was hoping that they'll do a duet, which sadly, did not happen.

Now that its over, I can't wait 'til next year!

So, once again..

CONGRATULATIONS, DAVID!

UPDATED MY STORY BLOG! http://howcrappycanyouget.blogspot.com

I'm out. I have very limited internet time. CRAP.

2008-05-15T23:05:00.011+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "I SING FOR YOU"
From: CAMP [Movie]

It's not RENT, but it's sort of like it.

Okay, AMERICAN IDOL. Loved David Cook, as always. David Archuleta could have done better. But both of them don't matter right now. Why? Because Syesha is OUT and it's gonna be a David-vs.-David finale. Anything could happen, really.

It's down to the final two. David Cook vs. David Archuleta. Who will be this year's American Idol? See you at the finale!

I've been bored out of my wits since I got back from Manila. Only my story blog's been keeping me busy. And I find a lot of inspiration from some stories on FanFiction. And of course, the Oviedo group on Multiply's been keeping me busy as well since I'm the main administrator. Gotta keep everybody updated, right? I just hope I can convince our other relatives to make an account.

I am on TWILIGHT HIGH. Yup, y'heard me. I mentioned in one of previous posts that I bought Twilight and New Moon when I was in Manila and I finished them both before I got home. I wanna read Eclipse, but I have to wait until Sunday to buy it; I can wait. It'll be soooooooooooooo worth it.

ROBERT PATTINSON as EDWARD and KRISTEN STEWART as BELLA

THE CULLENS

I think the guy who was on Carrie Underwood's "Last Name" and "Before He Cheats" music videos could also play Edward. I don't know his name so I can't search for his pictures.

What are you talking about? Lui, everything feels longer if your waiting.

Would you believe that my sister said that? And she has no idea that what she said struck home, BIG TIME.

Speaking of which; Danzel's been having problems lately and I can't help but feel hopeless. I really want to help, but I just can't.

He and his friend accidentally broke something at a computer shop and now the owner's asking them to cough up 15,000php; last I heard, he was still lacking 700php. I really hope they were able to pay up, or else they'd go to jail, as the shop owner said.

I've been doing a lot of daydreaming lately; it actually helps me generate ideas for my story. I think I'm gonna work on part 8 a little later. Read my previous entries if you wish: STORY BLOG. I love it when people comment. If they don't *shrug*

I'm not feeling very enthusiastic today. I guess EMO GIRL's a fitting name for me. I keep on forgetting to thank Lean and Enzo for that.

Does anyone know where I can have someone make a blog skin for me? I want to change the layout of my story blog. I want it to be something like a binder, the tabs can be the different parts of the story so you wouldn't have trouble looking for the last part that you've read. Any suggestions?

2008-05-14T22:43:00.004+08:00

I want Syesha Mercado..

OUT

2008-05-12T22:39:00.003+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "HERE'S WHERE I STAND"
From: CAMP [Movie]

I was in Manila from May 1 to May 10. I had the greatest time, ever! I'll just say what I did during my stay and something more afterwards..

MAY 1 - Went to Manila with my cousin Erika, who arrived from the US a few days before. We almost didn't make it because she wasn't feeling very well. But she sucked it all in and endured the painful five-hour bus ride from Dagupan to Cubao; I even bought with me a lot of plastic bags in case she wanted to throw up. Once there, our cousin, Maui, picked us up from the terminal and we headed to her house in Fairview. Took a nap because we were so exhausted; Erika because she was sick, and me because I only had about two hours of sleep in the past twenty-four hours or so. Once we were okay, we went to the Podium (my first time to go there, ever) and watched Ironman; LOVED IT. Then we had dinner in Burgoo before going back to Maui's condo in Gilmore where we spent the night.

MAY 2 - Erika and I went to Fairview after breakfast, where we went shopping with Tita Marissa in SM. Then we met up with our cousins, Lean (pronounced as Lee-an; his full name is Leandro) and Enzo at Shoppersville; we said goodbye to Tita Marissa and went with the boys. On the car ride going to EDSA Shangri-La to meet up with their brother Carl, his wife, Audrey and their daughter, Bella, the boys gave me a new name: EMO GIRL. They wouldn't stop! Then we had a quick snack there before going to Antipolo, where they lived. Erika slept early but I stayed up watching the Southpark movie with Enzo and Carl.

MAY 3 - I was supposed to go home since Erika had to stay with her Dad but Tito Rudi and Tita Livy told me to stay because my cousins from Davao were arriving the next day. Once we dropped off Erika at the Fort, we went back to Antipolo.

MAY 4 - I watched Ironman, again, with Lean (he already saw it as well), Audrey and Enzo. I remember that Enzo refused to leave because he wanted to make sure that there weren't any last-minute scenes after the credits. So we waited, and sure enough, there was a scene after the credits. He wouldn't stop gloating about it after we left the theater :P Later that night, me, Lean and Enzo just sat around the TV and sang some songs while they took turns in playing the guitar; "jamming", if you will. Tita Astrid, Nina and Andrea arrived past midnight and we ended up staying awake until two in the morning.

MAY 5 - Since we were craving for burgers, we decided to go to Burger King and we asked Enzo if he wanted to come along. He said it was too near and it would be such a waste of time if he was just going to prepare himself for that. I compromised and told him that we can always go to Trinoma since there was a Burger King there. That got him. But when we arrived, the place was full so we decided to wait for some people to leave. We just stood outside, talking and joking and all of us could feel the stares that the other customers were giving us which only made us laugh harder. We noticed that some of them weren't even eating anymore and yet they still didn't want to stand up. After a while, we admitted defeat and left; but as soon as we turned our backs, the people we were waiting for stood up and left. By the time we looked back, someone else had already taken the table. So we ate at Brothers Burger instead; at least we still had burgers.
Then we went to Timezone; we even went on those bump-car thingys with guns that didn't even work! :D And we went on the carousel, too. Then we went to Dairy Queen for a really late dessert; we went back home after that. Lean and Enzo barged into my room that night since they saw that my light was open. Had a heart-to-heart talk with them.

MAY 6 - I stayed at home while the Davao girls went to the US Embassy for their interviews to get a Visa. Bonded with the guys again.

MAY 7 - Me and Nina accompanied Andrea and Tita Astrid to the airport because they had to go back to Davao; Nina had to stay behind so she could arrange her leave of absence from UP. Went to the Fort to kill time; ate in Krispy Kremes . After we dropped them off, Kuya Aga took me and Nina to Glorietta, where we went crazy at Powerbooks and splurged on Burger King, again. Then we walked over to Greenbelt and ate Haagen Daas. Walked some more; about six hours of walking :) We were on a mission to find Lean a birthday gift but had such a hard time that we settled for those big cards that they sold at Powebooks. Then we had a quick snack at Chowking and Juice Avenue. Nina and I ordered siomai from Chowking; but after we poured the soy sauce, we realized that it didn't taste right after we took a bite. Turns out, it was the sauce for the siopao. My tummy was complaining about the weird combination but I ate them all anyway; and that's when Juice Avenue came in. And this was the day that I bought Twilight.
When we got back to Antipolo, we got to work on Lean's gift. Nina had these colored charcoal thingys that you can smudge after you drew on a piece of paper. While we were designing the card, Lean poked his head through the door because he was looking for me. We threw nervous glances at each other and I saw that Nina was itching to push him away but he just said, "You guys are drawing?", to which I answered, "Yeah, because we've got nothing to do", and thank goodness he left it at that. We planned to give it to him at midnight so we rushed it. But while we were watching the replay of American Idol (we got back home around 9 so we missed it), about ten minutes before midnight, Lean went to bed. So we decided to give it to him in the morning.

MAY 8 - I was having a nightmare; I can't remember what it was about though. But I do remember someone touching my shoulder and I jerked awake, only to find Lean's shocked face from behind me. It was a miracle that I remembered what day it was, despite being a bit disoriented from the shock; I greeted him a "Happy Birthday" and gave him the card; I heard Nina's incoherent greeting from beside me; looks like I wasn't the only one. He read it while we were still lying in bed and laughed at some of the stuff we wrote. We texted our other cousins the night before to tell us what they wanted to say to Lean and we wrote them down. He thanked us and told us that we were supposed to leave for UP to finish up whatever Nina needed to finish. Lean's girlfriend, Erika, was there when we went downstairs. We ate as quickly as we could.
We were dropped off at UP and for the next two hours, more or less, we walked around the campus to find the people who needed to sign Nina's papers. Then we went to Trinoma for lunch at Taco Bell; and too cool off there as well. All that walking tired us out and it made us sweat so badly. Went back to UP and waited for Kuya Aga to pick us up. Big dinner at home. And it was the same night that I started the Oviedo group here on Multiply. And I think I finshed reading Twilight around this time too.

MAY 9 - Once again, we went back to UP, had a few problems with the papers but were quickly resolved thanks to Tita Astrid. When we were done, we went back to Trinoma, where I bought New Moon, the sequel to Twilight, then we crossed over to the Block where we looked around and ate at Wham Burger, then back to Trinoma for more walking and looking before Carl and Kuya Aga took us home.
The guys made me and Nina watch the Southpark movie again :P
It was already four in the morning but I still couldn't sleep. And since I didn't want to wake Nina, I used the light from my cell phone to read New Moon until five thirty.

MAY 10 - We woke up a little later than we planned so we were in such a hurry to pack our stuff and eat breakfast. When it was time for us to go, we had to wake up the boys to say goodbye; Lean and Enzo just mumbled and Carl wouldn't budge. Audrey was in the bathroom so we weren't able to say goodbye properly. Even Bella was still shy around us! But Tito Rudi and Tita Livy were there when we left so it was okay.
In the van, Nina and I talked non-stop. We took her to the airport first before Kuya Aga took me to the bus station

And so my Manila adventure ends there.

During my stay, I learned/realized/noticed a few things about myself, my family, my sorroundings and others. These are just some of them:

*I may look like a turtle with the amount of things that I stuffed in my bagpack, but someone once told me that I look like a cute turtle.

*I laugh easily.

*We may be cousins, but there are times when I feel like we're complete strangers.

*I space out more than I should.

*I still say "sorry" if I bump into someone, even though I know that there's a big chance that they won't notice me.

*Once I get an idea, I'll keep building on it and I wouldn't let it go.

*I keep on saying "Hay naku" instead of "whatever".

*My heart melts when I see kids holding hands with their grandparents.

*I like to take lots of pictures even if I really don't have to.

*I do have a life without the internet.

*It takes four years to build a wall, but only a few seconds to tear it down.

*The smog from Manila is unbelievably incredible--in a scary way.

*Even when I have so many things to distract me, there's always that one person who never fails to cross my mind. *sigh*

*I'm gonna need a new g-tech.

*I know a lot of songs, but I haven't memorized them all.

*Mexican music makes me jumpy.

*I could never say "no" to anything sweet.

*You look outside, it's sunny; but later on you'll hear the thunder rolling so loudly you'd think that it was right above you. No rain, too. Strange, but it's a natural occurrence in that area.

*I may look cool on the outside, but I'm really giddy on the inside.

*I blush very easily.

*Overpacking has more advantages than disadvantages.

*Riding the carousel with my cousins brings back so many memories.

*I cringe when people call me "Luisa" instead of "Lui".

*Coming up with boys names that will match with "James" is fun; the possibilities are endless ;) One of my cousins said, James Chewbacca. Makes me laugh everytime.

*The cool night breeze of Antipolo soothes me.

*I'm more emo than I thought I was.

*I wake up if someone touches me.

*I always use alcohol after I touch money.

*There's always that nagging voice on the back of my head, reminding me that if I arrived in Manila carrying only two bags, I'd better go back home with just two bags also. No more, no less. I have no idea why.

*I'm stubborn. Enough said.

*No matter what I do, I can't stop myself from repeating RENT when I listen to Tony.

*Strange as it may sound, I want to have my own baby right now. Maybe it's because I get envious of what I see between mothers and their children; to show them love and be loved in return. But of course, it's too early to be thinking of that.

*Nina and I could be mistaken for sisters sometimes.

*I don't get sleepy that easily.

*When I get so absorbed in a book, I won't notice that I'm hungry, thirsty or even if I want to go to the bathroom :P And I read really quickly because I want to know how it's gonna end.

*Maroon looks good on me.

*Edward Cullen, a character from Twlight, reminds me so much of HIM; not in a physical way. Well, not just Edward, but almost all the vampires. PM me if you want to know why. I'ts kind of embarassing.

*I think too much.

*When me, Nina, Andrea and Enzo were in Trinoma, I was thinking of possible titles for the album where I was gonna put our pictures in so I started scrambling the first letters of our names. To my surprise, I discovered that we formed "LEAN", who just happened to be Enzo's older brother, who unfortunately wasn't able to go with us at the time. So, in a way, he was with us because of that.

*..and yeah, I like making new names.

*They weren't kidding when they said that the campus of UP was HUGE. I never dreamed that I'd be taking a jeep around there. To aspiring future UPCAT-passers, always bring rubber shoes with you, just in case. Nina said there are times when you really have to run to get to your next class.

*I can survive without texting anyone or anyone texting me.

*Never leave me in a bookstore unless you keep my wallet away from me.

*I must have been really thin a few years ago for people to think that I've gained so much weight now.

*I always bring a big bag with me because it has everything I need. And my cousins dubbed it as "The Mother Bag".

*Whenever we go out, I'm always the shortest.

*I like to ask the same questions even if I already know the answer.

I think that's about it. I've probably bored you enough already. Hahaha!

I took lots of pictures and they're on my Multiply. But for you to see them, you have to be my contact.

I made an Oviedo group on Multiply, too. meetdaoviedorks.multiply.com
It was Enzo's idea. And you have to be an Oviedo to join and view the page.

I watched CAMP, a movie about these kids who go to camp to learn how to sing and act, like in Broadway. The songs are great! And Daniel Letterle, one of the guys in the movie, is absolutely cute!

How cute is he?

The other posters are too big.

I uploaded some of my favorite songs on my Multiply. It's open to everybody so feel free to download them. My favorites so far are "How Can I See You Through My Tears", "Here's Where I Stand" and "Century Plant". Try them out.

2008-05-01T00:36:00.003+08:00

NO LSS

My sister and I just got back from the Bangus Fest a while ago. SO MANY PEOPLE.

I swear, we were pushing and shoving our way out. And what was worse, my sweat mixed with my sister's sweat and the sweat of whoever I got squished next to; which was like, about more than fifty different people, more or less. One word: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

My sister was already shouting at the people in front of us to move because they would move, yes, but when someone famous goes onstage (Mark Herras and Angelika dela Cruz were the unfortunate celebrities who were onstage at that time) they just stop and they complain that people are pushing them from behind. Like, HELLO! You were leaving too, remember?

My hair smells of smoke (from the grills and the innumerable number of people who were smoking near us) and sweat. My shoes used to be white; now their black from all the people who stpeped on my feet while we were still sandwiched. It rained earlier, right? That explains the black muck from my ankle to my knee. Disgusting.

It would have been fun, you know; it should have been fun. Parokya Ni Edgar and Bamboo were there, but, yeah, we couldn't stand it anymore.

And just when we thought that things couldn't get any worse, my sister's phone got snatched. While we were squished against Lord-knows-who's-sweaty-body, she said that she felt her phone "rising" from her pocket, but she pushed it back down; later, when we had a bit of space to move around, she felt her pocket, but it was gone. We tried calling it just a minute ago but it was turned off.

She said that she hopes that whoever got it actually deserves it. I'm just repeating what she said.

I wouldn't mind going back next year, but I'm going earlier. WAY earlier.

I'll be going to Manila with my cousin in a few hours. I won't say anything more about it until I get back.

Danzel texted me awhile ago. Quick conversation. But at least he texted. The last time we talked was probably a few days ago or last week.

I think I have a cold coming on. CRAP.

2008-04-29T23:35:00.003+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "WITHOUT YOU"
From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

You knew it wouldn't last.

One of my cousins from the States arrived a few days ago and she visited us just to say hi. I'm glad to see her, don't get me wrong; it's just that right after that my other relatives from Manila started clamoring to have her come over and letting me tag along.

I've always had this feeling that there were two groups in the family; one group consisted of my cousins and the other, well, just me. There are times when I just feel so out of place when they talk about stuff. Sometimes I can't even relate to what their saying. Our age gaps aren't that big and yet..I dunno.

Part of me wants to go to Manila with her and hang out with our other cousins, but the other part of me doesn't want to because somehow, I know what's going to happen.

What I noticed is that when someone from another country comes to visit, they always insist on having a get-together. But once they're gone, it's back to the same old routine. We don't see them all the time, but they don't invite us over. That hurts.

I love my family. I love them to death. But..I hate it when this happens.

I made these because I got bored. I played with my pictures. And Danzel's too:

I'm experiencing a really bad case of writer's block. Dear Lord, help me..

2008-04-26T02:07:00.003+08:00

UPDATED MY STORY!

READ AND COMMENT PLEASE.

http://howcrappycanyouget.blogspot.com

THANK YOU!

2008-04-24T22:55:00.002+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "YOU MUST LOVE ME"
From: EVITA [Movie/Musical]
Performed by Brooke White on American Idol

But I'm mad at her because SHE should have gone home instead of Carly. I mean, come on! Carly did WAY better than Brooke. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I'm gonna be complaining about this for the next few days.

I'm talking to Danzel right now. Surprising, huh?

Ugh. I really have nothing else to say.

I'm still working on the next part of my story.

2008-04-23T21:57:00.006+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT"
From: The Phantom of the Opera [Movie/Musical]
Performed by David Cook on American Idol

The show just ended a while ago. Holy crap, I literally melted in my seat when David Cook sang "The Music of the Night". Now I love him even more!

Syesha Mercado, okay, she was good.

David Archuleta surprised me with "Think of Me"; just like what Andrew Lloyd Webber said, it was supposed to be sung by a diva and never did he imagine that a guy would sing it. He changed the arrangement a little bit and I really liked it.

Carly Smithson did a pretty good job. Although I would have liked to hear her sing "All I Ask of You", still I thought it was a good thing that ALW changed it for her. She rocked the stage!

Brooke White, well, she was okay. Great song choice, I have to admit, but she did seem a little tense after she messed up at the beginning. She did sing the song with emotion, but I don't think her voice held up for her.

Jason Castro did well, although that was the last song I ever expected him to sing.

Syesha, Jason, Brooke, David C., Carly, David A.

My bottom three are: Brooke, Jason, and it's a tie between Syesha and--I hate myself for saying this--Carly. After what happened to Michael Johns, I learned to expect the unexpected; but I really hope I'm wrong.

I already have three posts on my STORY BLOG! Yay for me! Read and comment please: http://howcrappycanyouget.blogspot.com

2008-04-22T00:50:00.003+08:00

NO LSS

Okay, something is definitely wrong.

Watched "The Forbidden Kingdom" with Melanie this afternoon. And I got two henna tattoos:

MY LEFT HAND

MY RIGHT ARM; SAYS "ZENUI". WHY? FIGURE IT OUT ;)

BOTH TATTOOS

OH YEAH

I have a story blog! Read and comment please. The Introduction's up. http://howcrappycanyouget.blogspot.com

That is all for today.

2008-04-20T22:46:00.003+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "SEASONS OF LOVE"
From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

I honestly have nothing to say. I've been doing nothing for the past couple of days.

I'm thinking of writing a story. At least I'm doing something productive for the time being. The main character's gonna be based on me and maybe I'll throw in a few of my personal experiences and some fictional happenings. I'm still working on it though..

Dear lord, it's hot.

I hope something extraordinary happens, just to break the monotony of things..

2008-04-17T14:01:00.002+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "ALWAYS BE BY BABY"
By: Mariah Carey
Also sung by David Cook on American Idol

I am soooooooooooooooo happy right now.

David Cook rocked the house last night. David Archuleta gave a beautiful performance. Jason Castro did surprisingly well (I could stare into his eyes forever). Carly Smithson looked and sounded great. And best of all...

KRISTY LEE COOK GOT ELIMINATED!

Yeah, that's about it.

2008-04-16T14:55:00.002+08:00

NO LSS

No surprise there, really.

My blog got "blocked" a few days ago so I requested someone to review it for me; I don't even know how it happened in the first place. Apparently, the Blogger staff thought that my blog was a "Spam Blog" and that I couldn't post anything and stuff like that. I just checked my account now and it seems to me that everything's okay. If this post doesn't show up, that means something's still wrong.

Two days ago, I went out with one of my friends, Nico; actually, he's the younger brother of my classmate back in high school and he'll be studying in UST this coming school year. We went to the Mall, and surprise, surprise, I saw my ex-boyfriend. I don't even wanna say his name here. My heart dropped to the pit f my stomach when I caught just a glimpse of him. I knew he saw me, but I totally ignored him. Nico was the one who talked to him for awhile but I didn't say anything. I swear, I wanted to evaporate, and cry, on the spot. After months of not seeing or talking to him, then he suddenly shows up? I know that neither of us were expecting to see each other, but still! God could have picked a better time! Like, maybe, NEVER? After that, I knew that I wasn't completely over him yet. Great. Another problem.

So anyway, after that, me and Nico watched "Meet The Spartans"; it is a complete rip-off of "300" but it was still enjoyable. I laughed through almost the whole movie. My favorite lines:

Xerxes: "I will make sure that you are erased from the history books".
Leonidas: "That's fine with me, Xerxes; because I can't read".

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Leonidas: "That is how the men of Sparta greet each other. It's high-fives for the women, and open-tongued kisses for the men".
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Leonidas: "Remember this day, men. For this is the day we die!"
Spartans: "Yeaaa--what?"
Leonidas: "Uh..I mean, this is the day they die".
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Captain: "I see that Leonidas is molding our future king. My father used to beat me".
The Queen: "Beating is a rite of passage from father to son".
Captain: "No, my father was an alcoholic".
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that's all I remember and I don't think those are the right words! But there were so many funny lines.

I'm bored. What's new?

2008-04-14T22:25:00.006+08:00

I'll update as soon as I can. I don't feel like blogging today, even though so much has happened.

2008-04-12T22:12:00.003+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "PLEASE DON'T STOP THE MUSIC"

By: Rihanna

*Also performed by the American Idol finalists

I woke up today and found almost a hundred messages waiting to be read. Plus some e-mails and comments on Friendster and Multiply. WOW!

My cousin sent me two messages, NINETEEN times EACH. He so loves me!

I wasn't expecting Danzel to text me, but he did. And we got to talk for almost the whole day. Needless to say, I got all giddy because of that.

But I guess the biggest surprise that I got was when my ex-boyfriend texted me. At first I thought, "Am I reading this message right? This can't be him!", then, "He remembered?", and finally, "He cares?"; right? Oh well. I replied to him anyway since I didn't want to seem rude and we talked for awhile. That's it, really.

Had a small get-together with the family for dinner. Had a great time.

Kuya Ace called me! He could have just texted me or something. But I still appreciated it. That was really sweet of him.

Now I'm tired. I woke up earlier than I should have because my phone wouldn't stop vibrating from all the incoming messages.

Oh, and one more thing before I go..

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!

2008-04-11T22:05:00.002+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "WHAT YOU OWN"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

No, I will never get tired of it, so there.

I finally found the studio version of "Innocent" that David Cook sang. Yahooooooooo!

I cannot believe that Michael Johns got eliminated from American Idol. I mean, he was one of the best! Syesha should have gone home instead of him! This is so frustrating! ARGH!!!!

Okay, calm down. *inhale-exhale*

Only less than two hours before I turn nineteen! Yay!

2008-04-10T22:50:00.004+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "SEASONS OF LOVE"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]
Also performed by the American Idols on Idol Gives Back

Yeah yeah yeah, I know; of all the songs to get stuck in my head from that show, it just had to be that one. Well, what can I say? RENT has become a permanent part of my life now.

One of my classmates texted me this morning to tell me that she was in Dagupan; but I was still asleep when she first texted. I replied as soon as I woke up but when she asked me to go the mall where they were, I told her that I just woke up and it might take me awhile to get ready. So, I didn't see her. Aw, too bad.

Just watched IDOL GIVES BACK, and I absolutely loved it! I was near tears when they showed the clips of the kids in Africa; I remember that I used almost the same statistics as them, about the "every thirty seconds a child dies" in my extemporaneous speech last semester. It's amazing how many people are suffering and dying as the minutes tick by. I shudder at the thought of so many innocent victims going through that pain everyday until they die. It breaks my heart to see families torn apart because of diseases and that their children are left to fend for themselves.

They featured four brothers, whose parents, grandparents and other relatives died because of AIDS, and the eldest brother's the one who supports his siblings. I admired his dignity and sense of responsibility. Can you imagine yourself in that position?

It just goes to show that we are all lucky to be privileged enough to enjoy some, if not all, the luxuries in life. Sometimes we take our lives for granted and we fail to thank the good Lord for giving us the chance to wake up to a new day.

So many memorable performances. The Top 8 even sang "Seasons of Love"! How cool is that? I suggest you go to YouTube and search all the videos. Robin Williams was so funny!

I so love the person who uploaded "Innocent" by David Cook when he sang it last Wednesday night. I wanted to download the studio version but it still wasn't available so I searched it on IMEEM. I am so loving David Cook right now. If you guys wanna hear it (he's really good here), click here --> DAVID COOK - INNOCENT

Albert replied to what I sent him through Multiply. He said that he respects my decision, but he admitted that he was hoping that I would reconsider my decision. It broke my heart to say that my decision was final and that I wouldn't change my mind for anything, because I know that he'll be depressed afterwards. He's still my friend and I don't want him to suffer because of me. But, as my friends said, "He's a man. He'll be okay".

I'm exhausted, which is surprising.

2008-04-09T01:42:00.004+08:00

NOTE: This post has been edited.

LSS OF THE DAY: "WHAT YOU OWN"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

I knew it wasn't gonna last long. Oh well..

So, I did leave for Manila yesterday early morning, around 2:30. I got to the dorm around 8 because I still had to change into my uniform; seriously, we still needed to wear uniforms just to get our clearance? Stupid, really. But anyway, I waited for my friends, and when everyone was there, Meg held out these bags for me and Judith; turns out they were our early birthday presents (Judith's birthday is today; mine is on the 12th). And the others gave me letters; Simon drew an angel for me.

Then we went inside our building, got our clearances and went to the Health Service because Meg had to do something there. Jay followed us there and we had fun talking to Ma'am Shake.

Stayed in the school for awhile so I read the letters they gave me. I was touched by Simon's letter and I was laughing at Meg's letter but when it came to Albert's, my heart sank.

He wrote that he likes me, and that it's actually getting close to love. I was suspecting for a while that he might actually like me but I didn't think it was like that. I kept the letter and tried to act as normally as possible. I talked to Meg and apparently, everyone in the group knew about it EXCEPT me.

"I care for you very much, and like you the same. What I feel is more than friendship, close to a romantic relationship. I am not prepared to say "I love you", though as time passes and things change, I hope to whisper it sincerely and passionately and shout it triumphantly."

That was just part of what he said, but I think he summed it all up in just these sentences.

While I was reading it, I couldn't stop thinking, "This is not happening. This CAN'T be happening." I already had a hunch that he liked me but I just ignored it, praying that it would just fade. But it didn't.

I've already thought about this ever since I first suspected that he liked me, and whatever I think or say, it always comes down to one conclusion: he's like a brother to me, and just the mere thought of me and him getting together makes me cringe because it really doesn't feel right.

I just sent him a message through Multiply. I hope he takes it as a man. I know that it'll create tensions between us, but I believe that it'll pass.

While Simon accompanied me in waiting for an FX in Espanya, Danzel walked by. He looked a bit surprised to see me with Simon (I actually saw him give something close to a "death glare" as he looked at Mon), and sure enough, he thought that he was courting me. I was talking to him awhile ago when he asked if I had a "new guy"; paranoid, much?

I left Manila around 3:40 and I arrived in Dagupan by 9pm. Whew!

So anyway, I think all the contestants on American Idol are pretty stressed out. Some of them weren't as giddy as they used to be or they seemed to space out a bit. David Cook looked exhausted after he performed and he was always smiling after he sang. I guess it's because of Idol Gives Back which will air tomorrow. Jason Castro did really well; and, alright, Christy Lee Cook did well too. I'm scared for Carly. I hope Syesha gets the boot on Friday.

"So I own not a notion, I escape and gape, content. I don't own emotion, I RENT.."

2008-04-07T21:37:00.004+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "PROMISE OF A LIFETIME

By: Kutless

*gasp* For once, it's not RENT! *Alleluia!*

So, yeah, I finally bought a Sun sim, and it is officially working. Now I have two phones, one for Globe and another one for Sun. Just like when I was a Senior in High School; but I had three phones, not two; the last one was for Smart. I'm not gonna bother with that network since I only have a few friends who use it, and therefore it would be a complete waste of money.

I was supposed to leave for Manila today, but I overslept. Yeah, yeah, yeah; sorry! But I'm seriously leaving tomorrow at three in the morning. My clearance isn't until nine a.m. anyway so it's okay; I'm not worried, since I've already seen my grades. At least I can be sure that my knees won't give way while waiting in line to get that little piece of paper that they say was needed for enrollment, which they don't even check. And I'm coming back to Dagupan in the afternoon. Whew! It's gonna be a looooooooong day...

I just realized, or remembered, rather, that I am now an Artlet Junior; that means, no more P.E. and no more NSTP. Our enrollment's gonna be easier and faster compared to that of the Freshies and Sophies. Although, I am going to miss having P.E. classes (well, just football), and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy my NSTP-LTS experience, let's just say that I can finally have some "me" time without having to worry about lesson plans and being late for call-times.

And it's Grizzly Bear's thesis defense tomorrow, as well. I hope he's not nervous. GO GB!

The burden's lifted, somewhat. But I can still feel the pain..

Well, that's all I can say for now.

Catch yah later, love!

2008-04-05T13:28:00.008+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

"Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be. And IF YOU GIVE A DAMN, TAKE ME BABY, OR LEAVE ME."

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm still bitter.

I know I should be over this by now, but, I'm not. Gee, how vague can I get?

I bet you people are probably sick and tired of me ranting on and on and on and on about a certain tall, dark, skinny man who stole my heart and crushed it to pieces. Forgive me for being all senti and emo, but this is how I'm really feeling; and I'm SEMI-DEPRESSED too. What's new, right?

I'm feeling shitty, restless, exhausted, emotionally drained. In short, I feel like CRAP. And I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

I love him, I really do. But I know I can't have him. Isn't that enough to make me forget that this whole thing ever happened? Apparently, NOT.

CRAP. CRAP. CRAP. CRAP. CRAP. CRAP!

So, anyway, Kathleen, Melanie and Armely came over yesterday so we could watch "Sweeney Todd". Funny really, I watched it last week with my friends when they came over, and now I watched it with them. I guess it's one of those movies that you just gotta have someone near you while watching it. And Armely was sweet enough to text me just to say thank you; it just goes to show that there are still good people left in this world. And needless to say, they added a bit of color to my now dull world of summer.

I was chatting with a few people last night and one of them just happened to be my cousin, Enzo. I remember how close we were when we were kids. Everytime he and his family came to visit, we'd play with each other from the moment we got out of bed in the morning to the moment our parents forced us to go to sleep at night. But then there came a time when they stopped coming for about three or four years, and the next time we saw each other, it was like during those years when we failed to meet, a wall built itself between us. We changed; we were no longer the silly kids who'd run around, chasing each other in the backyard, talking about Power Rangers and our favorite cartoons; we were grown-ups, strangers.

But last night, I felt like the wall was finally crumbling before my very eyes. He was really nice and fun to talk to; all of a sudden I saw the kid I used to play with, through the window of cyberspace. He was open to me, and I to him and we just let our conversation flow freely. I really enjoyed talking to him and I'd be even more happy if that were to happen again. We have a lot of catching up to do, after all.

One thing did make my day yesterday, aside from the girls coming over..I PASSED ALL MY SUBJECTS!

And I just remembered: my birthday's coming up soon; I'm turning the big 1-9 in seven days. The clock's ticking..

I'm bored. I can't wait to go back to Manila and see my friends.

And, although I'm hating myself for admitting it, I'd like to see HIM again..

2008-04-03T21:30:00.007+08:00

NO LSS

Shocking, eh?

And just when I thought that things couldn't get any worse, it did. It sooooooooo did.

I guess there's a reason why I haven't been dreaming in my sleep for the past couple of weeks. Usually, I'd see dancing hippos and singing ostriches in leotards and high heels (so reminiscent of Fantasia, don't you think?); strange, yes, but I really do have dreams like that sometimes. I've been wondering why for awhile now; but after last night, I can't help but think that it's either I've gone insane or I'm just thinking plain nonsense.

My dream last night involved, well...him.

We were in a mall, a very unfamiliar one too, if I may add, and while we were walking, he held my hand. An alarm went off in my head and I remember thinking, "Wait, we're not a couple! What the heck?!"; I attempted to make him let go (yes, I really did; and it's up to you if you believe me or not) but he wouldn't. So, I just let him. And later on he was putting his arm around my shoulders, hugging me, whispering sweet stuff to me and all that lovey-dovey whatever. And that went on until I woke up.

Sure, the last thing I thought of before going to bed was "I wonder how he's doing right now.." but I didn't think that I'd dream of him that way!

And I'm not saying that I'm going to cling to that dream because let's face it, it's just a dream. JUST A DREAM.

And I'll just keep repeating that until I convince myself that it's nothing but a dream and not of the "possible" future!

..wait..CRAP! NO!

I should be convincing myself that he's a no-good-egotistical-smoking-drinking-loving-jerk and not the one-guy-who'll-sweep-me-off-my-feet-and-ride-off-into-the-sunset that he is! Wait, that didn't come out right..

UGH. I am so hopeless. Somebody PLEASE kill me now.

On a more different note, Ramiele Malubay got kicked of American Idol this week. So sad! I wanted Christy to go!

"God on high, hear my prayer. In my need, you have always been there.."

Is it too late to ask for a miracle?

2008-04-02T14:40:00.004+08:00

*This post has been edited.

LSS OF THE DAY: "WITHOUT YOU"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

*sigh*

I haven't heard from him since yesterday. And he said that the message he sent me wasn't supposed to be for me. Oh, fine. Whatever.

Do you think I'm paranoid? Thinking of a guy who clearly doesn't think or give a damn about me? I hate it when I feel this way. I feel so helpless.

Maybe I really should move on. Maybe I really should forget about him. But, as I always say, "Easier said than done".

When my friends ask how "we're" doing, I don't know what to say to them. I usually shrug and try to answer as indifferently as I could; but knowing them, I could tell that they can see that it's not just that. I know they can see the hurt and confusion in my eyes, but thankfully, they don't bring it up.

I keep on asking myself, "Why do I even bother?"; and a little voice in my head answers: "Because you love him". ARGH! Stupid voice.

I thought that I was going to enjoy my summer vacation. Kick back, relax and all that stuff. I am relaxing, but when I'm not doing anything my mind tends to wander; and mre often than not, I keep on thinking about him. What he's doing, how he is, if he ever thinks about me, or if I ever cross his mind even for a split second....NO! STOP IT!

As odd and as mean as it sounds, I want to see him bleed as much as I did, and still do, as matter of fact. I want to see that he's really affected, I don't want to just hear him say, "Yeah, I got affected" because it's not enough. I want to SEE it; in his face, in his actions, in everything that he does. I want to see that I'm not the only one suffering from this problem of ours. I know it sounds harsh, but I'm still feeling a little bitter towards him.

*sigh*

I LOVE YOU. EVEN THOUGH YOUR KILLING ME

I'm breaking down. When will this end?

..will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

2008-03-30T22:42:00.002+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "RENT"

From: RENT [Musical/Movie]

Be warned--this is gonna be an emo post.

I just can't stand it anymore! Why is he acting so indifferent? Can't he see that he's making me suffer more? Sure, it was nice of him to ask me if I'm going to the Graduation of our Seniors tomorrow, but he could have at least finished our conversation! I hate it when people leave me hanging without saying "goodbye", especially if the conversation was getting interesting. Sometimes I just want to smack him for being so oblivious to what's going on; maybe that might knock some sense into him.

I'll admit that I'm weak when it comes to him. I can't stop myself from opening up to him or spilling me heart out; it comes naturally, really, especially if I feel different for the person on question. I just really hate it when he thinks that everything's "okay" between us then he'll start acting like nothing's happened. Well, that "nothing" pushed me to the brink of my sanity, made me wander aimlessly, made me shed tears, and worst of all, BROKE MY HEART. Yes, my heart got broken--YET AGAIN.

This afternoon, while I was listening to the song "Will I" from RENT, I started crying; I couldn't help it. I wanted to scream, I wanted to pull my hair, I wanted to cry and cry and cry until my eyes dried up; but I didn't. I just let it all out through singing along while I allowed the tears to fall.

I love him. I love him. I love him. I can't get over him. What the hell is wrong with me?!

We NEVER got together, and yet I still have that hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach after a break-up. How did I get so emotionally attached to someone I never had a real relationship with? I want to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, move on, and never look back. But everytime I pick up a piece, I drop it again; and when I move forward, I keep looking over my shoulder. I can't stop. I can't stop..

Now, everybody, SING WITH ME!

..will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
- "Will I", RENT

This heart is not the first heart broken,
My eyes are not the first to cry,
I'm not the first to know,
There's just no gettin' over you
I know I'm just a fool who's willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see,
There's nothin' else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying "fool, forget him",
My heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
- "Hopelessly Devoted To You", GREASE

If I loved you,
Time and again I would try to say
All I'd want you to know.
If I loved you,
Words wouldn't come in an easy way
Round in circles I'd go!
Longin' to tell you,
But afraid and shy,
I'd let my golden chances pass me by!
Soon you'd leave me,
Off you would go in the mist of day,
Never, never to know how I loved you
If I loved you.
- "If I Loved You", CAROUSEL

*sigh* I really, REALLY need some sort of distraction or something. I seriously need to get him out of my head.

Damn. I'm falling apart..again.

2008-03-27T22:44:00.006+08:00

*NOTE: This post has been edited. The picture that was posted here before this is at the bottom

So, yeah, the picture pretty much says it all. Our barkada outing FINALLY pushed through. Our schedule:

MARCH 23: I went to Manila.

MARCH 24: Went back to Dagupan with my friends: Meg, Sarah, Janel, Gian, Mau, Albert and Simon

MARCH 25: Went to Baguio; SM, Camp John Hay, Mine's View Park, Botanical Garden and Burnham Park.

MARCH 26: Went down from Baguio, went to San Fabian, Bonuan, then to Matutina's for dinner.

MARCH 27: They went back to Manila.

We had so much fun! Most of them were so used to Manila that they were a bit surprised at how the province looked.

Our Baguio trip was the best; we enjoyed the cool air and the smell of pine trees and the inummerable flowers. And of course, the cabin we rented was absolutely beautiful; there were even these windows that you can open and sit of the edge so you can see the view better. We cooked our own dinner and we really did a great job at it. The menu: breaded chicken breast, mashed potato with gravy and mushroom soup.

My heart syopped (literally) when Albert got hurt; we had to get down these really steep steps going to the cabin since it was sort of going downhill. When we got back from Burnham Park, I have no idea what got into Albert's head at the time so he decided to just walk down on the grass instead of taking the stairs. He easily outstripped us and he was doing fine, until he stumbled and ROLLED on the gravel. He lay there, sprawled near the bushes and he didn't move for two seconds. We immediately ran down as he was getting up. He had a really big nasty scratch on his left arm. We wrapped it with tissue and scotch tape (Simon, you are a life-saver!). I hope he learned his lesson after that

We had a mini-drinking session around past midnight; I only had a shot of Lambanog and a shot of Gran Matador. My head really hurt after since according to them, the Lambanog's alcohol content was pretty high and I'm not used to drinking and I'm allergic to alcohol. Mau, Albert and Simon kept on asking if we were feeling okay and they kept on pestering us to drink lots of Iced Tea and Coke so we could get the alcohol out of our system when we urinate. Mau finally allowed us to go to bed around 3-ish; my headache's subsided around that time.

I didn't have a hang-over the next morning, thank goodness! But my hands started to itch a little bit because of my allergies. Meg made a really good breakfast: corned beef omelette, tomato omelette, cheese omelette, and tuna. We left Baguio around past noon and we went straight to San Fabian where my uncle lived. We were supposed to go swimming at the beach but the others got discouraged when they found a few dead jellyfish lying on the sand. But Simon didn't care; he went in the water anyway. The rest either used the hammocks, walked on the sand looking for more dead jellyfish or shells, made sandcastles, soaked their feet on the shore, or threw sand at each other.

Dad picked us up from there and he dropped us off in Bonuan, where they met Mom and Doc. I showed Simon this face on the wall and he told me a few things that made my skin crawl; I'd rather not say it here. Then we ate in Matutina's for dinner. I couldn't help but laugh at how much food Mau ate that night; I mean, for a skinny guy, where the hell does he store all that food?! We could have stayed longer but Janel wasn't feeling very well so we left as soon as we finished eating. Me, Meg, Sarah and Gian rode with Mom and Mau, Simon, Albert and Janel rode with Doc; Janel texted us on the way and said that they were listening to Spice Girls. We couldn't stop laughing!

By the time we got back home we were pretty tired; but oddly enough, we didn't go to sleep right away. We ended up exchanging stories and laughing our butts off until midnight before we watched a movie until three in the morning.

We were supposed to wake up early (March 27) but since we were still tired, we overslept by two hours. And they were kind of delaying their departure time because I could see that they were still pretty comfortable where they were. But sadly, they couldn't wait any longer so they left around two in the afternoon.

Despite the few rifts we experienced (literally and figuratively), we were still able to forget about them and just enjoy the time that we had together. If anything, this outing made our bond as a barkada stronger and this gave us the chance to get to know each other better. They're the best friends anyone could ever have and I am truly blessed to have them.

I MISS THEM ALREADY! When I look at my now empty room, I can't help but imagine at how they used to make a big mess out of it. I could still remember who slept where and who laid down beside who. I remember when all of us were in that same room, watching a moive, playing cards and just having a laugh. I live for little moments like that, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Meg, Sarah, Janel, Gian, Mau, Albert and Simon, I hope you all had as much fun as I did. Let's do this again, okay?

----------------------------------------------------

FRIENDS. LIFE'S GREATEST TREASURES.

Again, thanks guys, for a great time. Thanks for all the stories, the laughter, the conversations, the help, the company, heck, even the most embarassing and scariest moments!; in short, thanks for the memories I hope you guys can come back soon! Love you all!

More pictures here: http://lauredilian.multiply.com

----------------------------------------------------

So, anyway, remember the letter I wrote here? Well, we talked on Sunday, the day before I went back to Dagupan; I was in the dormn that time. We finally talked things through, but somehow, I'm not satisfied. He made it clear that maybe now's not the right time for us to be together because he said that he's really going to be busy and that he would be unfair to me if he wasn't always there. I kept on telling him that he needed to practice time management, but he said it wasn't that easy. I grudgingly agreed to what he said; I mean, I really couldn't say anything more about it. But he reminded me that he was always going to be there for me, no matter what. I guess that's the best I can hope for.

And two good things came out of our conversation: I got him to admit that he got jealous because of Albert; he actually thought that Albert was courting me because we hang out a lot so I expalined to him that we were just good friends. And that he doesn't just like me; his feelings for me are much deeper than that. Okay, I'll admit that I got all giddy and googley-eyed when he said the second one; I couldn't help it, really

We haven't talked since then. I don't know if he's avoiding me or he just won't text me because he thinks that we're okay. I mean, one of the reasons why he kept on texting me before was because he wanted to check on how I was doing. Now that everything's slightly okay between us, maybe he thinks that he doesn't have a reason to talk to me anymore. But that's just what I think.

*sigh* Love...

2008-03-22T22:25:00.003+08:00

Dear,

It's time for me to let you go.

I know you promised to "fix things between us", but from what I'm seeing, your not doing anything.

I waited for you. I cried for you. And still, nothing.

It wasn't my intention to feel for you the way I do; I, myself, don't even know what happened. It just did.

I care for you, I really do. But what you did still hurt, and I don't know if I can totally forgive you for it.

It's about time that we stop kidding ourselves and face the cold, hard truth: that we can't always have what we want, no matter how badly we want them. We can't have each other, that's what we need to face and accept.

I'll always be here for you, if ever you need a friend. I can't promise that things will go back to the way they were before everything changed, but if your willing to start over, I would be more than happy to oblige. We might as well keep the friendship instead of throwing it away; it would be a waste, indeed.

Thank you for showing that you care, and that you'll always be there. I'll never forget the moments we shared.

No matter how much it kills me to say this, I know I'm doing the right thing; even if it feels a little wrong: we have to forget about everything that's ever happened between us. Easier said than done, I know; but we should at least try.

As the song goes, "We had the right love at the wrong time".

I'll somehow pluck up the courage to tell you all this the next time we talk or the nexr time we meet. I hope I don't end up eating my words like last time.

But until then..

I love you. And I'm sorry.

2008-03-20T00:58:00.002+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "FINALE B"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Sooooooooooo many things have happened since my last update. So, what are we waiting for? Let's get to it!

The Debate, our finals in English, went well. I was part of the Opposition with Meg and Ella while Mark Anido, Waki and Rissa made up our Government. We were given three topics to research on and then our professor will just randomly select one on the day of the debate itself. The three topics were: 1.) UST: 4oo Years Of Student Empowerment, or 400 Years of Colonialism?; 2.) Migration: A Success Or Failure To Nationalism?; and 3.) English As A Classroom Medium Of Instruction. We feverishly debated amongst ourselves and absorbed every little detail that we could come across. On the day of the debate itself, we found out that we were going to go against either the students from Sociology or Political Science; I remember my head shooting up to look warily at whoever said it. I just realized then that Danzel was in Sociology, so, yeah, that meant that he just MIGHT be there. I prayed in my head that he wasn't going to be there so I pushed him out of my thoughts since I had a debate to worry about.

It was also the first day of our final examinations on Thursday so we had to cram two other subjects (HR and Stat) aside from all the information we got from our classmates. We staggered out of the classroom as soon as we passed our papers and started reading through our notes; our last exam ended at 12:40 and the debate was scheduled at 1p.m., so no lunch break. We had to change clothes because our professor said that we had to look "professional".

So, we trudged to the Tan Yan Kee Student Center, up to the fourth floor, and into the AVR; the same place where we had the Team Building seminar the week before. I scanned the room; no tall, dark, thin guy with a goatee. I sighed in relief. Our professor was announcing who'll battle against who and, surprise, surprise! We were gonna go against Socio and our topic was the English thing, which by far was the easiest. My knees were shaking by the time we were walking towards the table where we were assigned. I took several deep breaths while waiting for the Government side speak up.

The first speaker lacked the conviction that a person needed to sound strong and sure, but we listened intently to what she had to say so we could point out any flaws in their arguments. Meg did a great job at countering their speeches; the Deputy Prmie Minister of the Government had such a soft voice that I could only get bits and pieces of her speech and that was what I needed! So when it was my turn to speak, I couldn't think of any other thing to say so I had to cut short my speech by three minutes or so. And guess what? While I was talking, HE walked in; he even hid behind our professor and I saw some of his classmates proding him. When I sat down, I knew he was looking at me the whole time but I kept my head turned the other way. And, WE WON!

Sadly, Mark, Rissa and Waki lost to Political Science. No offense, but some fo them were straying off the topic and yet they won? Biased!

So anyway, after the debate, to our surprise, Trish (our class president) and Cel (our vice-president) bought food for us, courtesy of the whole class. You could just imagine how hungry we were. THANKS GUYS!

We hung out in school for awhile; me, Meg, Albert, Simon and Jo, who joined us a little later, stayed in Lovers Lane. A little later, I looked at my phone, and I saw that Danzel texted me.

(originally in Tagalog, but I translated it into English)
D: Hey, Marvs wants to get your number. Is it okay if I give it to him? (Marvs was the guy Danzel was campaigning for in the elections and we've been friends since)
L: Sure! And can you tell him that I'll get his number from Jo since I'm with her anyway?
D: Yeah, Jo just texted me. Where are you?
L: In Lovers Lane.
D: Do you want me to go there.
L: It's okay with me. You're not busy or anything?
D: Nope. I'm not doing anything.
L: Okay. But are you sure you wanna come? Meg's here. (Yes, they know each other; they tease each other a lot so I just made sure)
D: You don't want me to go?
L: I said it's okay. I was just asking.
D: You might be mad at me. By the way, congratulations on your win. You did a great job.
L: What makes you think that I'm mad at you? Oh, thanks.
D: Oh, nothing. I'll be there a little later.

But then, the guard shooed us off becuase of the curfew. So I texted him.

L: Hey, they're making us leave. How's that?
D: Let's still meet. I'm near the field. I'll meet you there.

By this time, Meg and Simon already left so it's just me, Albert and Jo. He came, we went out to P. Noval, Albert left us, then we went to Jolibbee in Lacson. Since Jo and Danzel are both from the same political party, all they talked about was politics and I just butted in once in a while. When Jo stood up to order ice cream I asked him:

L: What made you think that I was mad at you?
D: (looks down) Nothing, really. It just crossed my mind.

He really wouldn't look at me in the eye while were talking. Around quarter to midnight, we decided that it was time to leave. Jo went straight out while were turned right to Dapitan. We talked until we reached my dorm. When he left, I texted him:

L: Hey, Danz. Thanks for meeting us and for taking me to the dorm. Take care, okay?
D: Sure, that was nothing. But next time, it just has to be the two of us.

I was a bit surprised at what he said but I decided to let it slide.

The next day, we didn't have classes but we weren't given time to relax because we promised Jo that we'd help her out with her staffing duties for the Baccalureate Mass. We distributed the food, ordered the Seniors around and stuff like that. While we were doing all that stuff, Danzel and I were still texting. He was supposed to be there but his parents forced him to go home. We were busy for the whole day; tiring, but fun.

L: So, this is what you do.
D: Yeah. Do you understand me now?
L: I always have. That's why I'm leaving you alone.
D: Ah. By the way, what is it with you and Albert?
L: Albert? Why?
D: Nothing. Just asking.
L: He's part of our group. Why?
D: Nothing.
L: Okay. So, I guess we should forget about it, huh?
D: I don't think so. Let's stay neutral.
L: Neutral?
D: Yeah. Whatever's happening now, let's keep it that way.
L: Okay.

I forgot what else we talked about since it was around this time that we were already watching the fireworks. While we were getting the Seniors ready to pas under the Arc of the Centuries, Kuya Ace, one of the Staffers, approached us and told us that Simon was in the hospital. Apparently, he collapsed while he was doing what he was supposed to do; I kind of expected someone to give way at any time but I wasn't expecting him. So after everything was done, we went to the hospital and watched over Simon until his parents came back. We left around quarter to 12.

The next day, we had an exam in Biology at 10a.m. And right after that, Danzel texted me again, asking me if I could accompany him somewhere. I agreed, so we arranged the time and place of where we were going to meet. After we did what he asked me to do, I got ready for the Launching of the Behavioral Science Federation. Meg came over and she put make-up on me. The pictures are still being uploaded on my Multiply. I had a lot of fun. Kuya JPaul kept on taking pictures of me and Jan. Crazy guy. Then we went to the GAP victory party afterwards. Meg ahd to leave early and I got back to the dorm around 1a.m.

The next day, Sunday, I was too lazy to get out of bed. And, surpise! Danzel texted me again asking if I could hear Mass with him. I couldn't say no. So I went to UST around 3:30 just so I can have time for myself. Marvs was there too so we hung out for a bit while we waited for Danzel. When he came, they smoked a bit, then we went to McDonald's. He even laid his arm on my leg when I was facing him. Marvs left so it was just me and him going to Church. There were a lot of people so we stayed outside. When it came to the "Peace be with you" part, I turned to face him, when I felt him kiss me on the cheek AND half of my lips. I was stunned beyong words. When he saw the look on my face he said that he and his blockmates do it everytime they hear Mass together. I just laughed it off.

Looking back on that, I still wonder where's the "neutral" that he told me. Oh well. We'll see.....

Exams are over! We went to Trinoma right after our last exam and went to Red Box for videoke. So much fun! Can't wait to do it again.

I'm home in Dagupan now. And I'm sooooooo tired!

I have so much more to say, but right now, I really have to sleep.

See yah later, love!

2008-03-11T18:06:00.005+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "WITHOUT YOU"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Dear lord, I'm exhausted.

Last Saturday, I didn't go home. So yeah, I was stuck in my cave (dorm).

And last Sunday, I had to attend this thing for LTS; okay, it was a Mass and sort of like a closing program but I found it to be dull. And what was worse was that the NSTP coordinator told us off for being noisy, TWICE! That was so humiliating. And to think, we're in college and yet we still act like a bunch of pre-schoolers. Oh well. We stayed in school until 8pm. As always, we played frisbee even though it was pretty dark. Lots of one-on-one moments that I'll never forget.

Sarah and Mau broke up; but I think they're together again. Or is it just my imagination?

My ninang from the States called me yesterday just to check on how I was doing. I was really touched when she told me that she misses me. She's one of those old people who knows how to relate to today's generation, since she has two kids who are just a few years older than me. She told me stories about her younger days, when she and my tito weren't married yet. Their courtship, how they were able to handle their break-up and still remained close, and how he proposed. Needless to say, it was nakakakilig; and coming from her, that's saying a lot! I told her about my current "situation" with--well, you know who; she told me some stuff and I'd rather not say them here. Ssssshhh! I can't wait for her to call again.

And I am very pleased to say that as of yesterday, I have a son! Not biological, of course. Remember our family tree? Iris is my "mom", Meg and Janel are my "daughters", Sarah's our "dog", Gian's my "sister", Albert's my "brother-in-law", Simon's my "stepfather"; we don't have positions for Judith, Claudette and Jigo yet, and now Jay (Albert's friend, who's been hanging out with us) is now my "son". Me, Meg, Albert and Jay stayed in school until seven last night in Lovers Lane. Just talking. Meg even took a video of Jay and his inability to do the steps that Jigo did last week; now I have something to laugh at when I'm depressed. No offense, Jay; love yah, m'boy!

And tomorrow's gonna be a busy day for us.

MARCH 12, 2008 (Wednesday)

8:00 - 9:00 -> Meet up at the Pav for Stat
9:00 - 12:00 -> Debate drill
12:00 - 3:00 -> CLASSES
3:00 - 4:00 -> Exam in Theology (should have been today but she didn't show up)

*and some time between 4:00-7:00 we have to take a quiz in Bio through E-Leap AND attend the election of officers for BESSCIFED.

Is that busy, or is that busy?

Which reminds me, I have to write down all that stuff that Meg told me for the debate. I volunteered to replace Judith since she really wasn't into it. At least I made someone's day.

I'm beginning to notice something. But I wouldn't want to sound hasty or anything, so I'll just sit back and watch how everything will turn out.

I saw him awhile ago in front of our building, while I was talking to Albert. I hate it when I get shivers down my spine everytime I see him. I am so weak. Pathetic, really.

"If he doesn't make a move, forget about him" - my friends.

But the thing is, I'm already trying. Why isn't it working?

2008-03-07T09:51:00.005+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "WILL I"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here I go again.

When was my last update? So anyway, two days ago (March 5, Wednesday), we had this team building thing with the other section. I have to admit, it was fun! I learned a lot from my fellow BESmates and I'm really looking forward to the times when we'll be working together again. And I made new friends too. We did this "Amazing Race" sort fo thing where we had to run from the fourth floor of the Tan Yan Kee building to Lovers Lane, to the field, to the Quadri, then back to TYK. I didn't eat a lot so I wasn't running as fast I should; and I even fell three times in one of the activities! But it was worth it. I'll post my pictures the next time I get home, which is like, after forever?

We even played frisbee until quarter to ten after that! Me, Meg, Jigo, and Albert stayed and later some people from BES2 joined us.

My body was so sore yesterday that I had the slightest difficulty in walking and moving a lot.

And speaking of yesterday, I was high-depressed. I was high because I was depressed. I was tired, I was depressed, and I was pissed. Some people just don't know how to show respect to some people and they don't know when to keep their mouths shut. I swear, I wanted to slap them just to keep them quiet. Many times I just wanted to tell them off, just to show how pissed I was, but I kept telling myself to be patient. Some of them asked how I was since I was so quiet and that I kept on staring into space; I appreciate their concern, but they don't know the real reason. I was really high-strung yesterday; thank goodness I was able to let off some steam.

*sigh* So many things have been happening for the past few days. Sometimes I wonder if it's all just coincidence or..I dunno..fate? I mean, what are the odds of us seeing each other in the same place three times? (Yes, I'm counting, but so what?!) He tried to get my attention last night, but pride kept me from acknowledging him completely. After everything that happened, he still thinks that everything's okay between us? Sure, he textes me more now, even though it's already super late; but still! Why does he even bother? I'm still hurting from what he did and I haven't totally forgiven him.

Although, alright, I admit, I still care for the guy; heck, I LOVE him for crying out loud! But I still can't bring myself to fully accept what he said.

But...I may say that I'm mad at him now, but when the time comes that he'll ask for a second chance, I know that I'm gonna give it to hom. My feelings are too strong; I can't avoid that. Call me stupid, call me a bitch, call me desperate, I DON'T CARE.

Just like what Albert and Jo told me last night, "He doesn't deserve you. Move on". Easier said that done, I'm afraid. But I am trying, really!

"Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I never learned what it is to be in love and have that love returned". - Written In The Stars, AIDA.

I won't be going home. Oh well. And exams are coming up. Crunch time, baby!

'Til next time, love!

2008-03-04T11:15:00.007+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "FINALE B"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

I know your probably fed up with all my RENT crap, but dear, it's my head and it's my life so there's nothing you can do to change my mind. I love you!

I'm being sarcastic today. I wonder why.

I'm in the library computer lab typing my position paper in Theology since they didn't have any vacant computers in Netopia.

But before I went there, I withdrew money from my ATM since I was running low on cash, and I had to pay for my dorm. As I was walking there, I was calculating in my head how much money I should withdraw; dorm, pictures for the scrapbook for LTS, laundry, internet time, food..I guess that was it. So after I got the money, walked to Netopia and when they told me that they didn't have any vacancy, a voice in the back of my head said: "It's a sign, Lui; God doesn't want you to spend a lot today". Needless to say, I heeded that voice so I decided to go to the library and use my FREE internet browsing priviledges. GOD IS GOOD!

It was our last meeting in P.E. today; and our written exam was pretty easy. When Professor Adri asked, "Where was the last men's football league held?" (or something like that, I couldn't remember the exact question); we all stared blankly at her for a few seconds before she said, "You already have a clue". It was then I noticed that she was wearing a FIFA shirt with the German flag on it. Praying that that was what she meant, I wrote it down. And guess what? That was it! I laughed so hard afterwards. After that, Prof. let us play a bit so we started running across the field and when the guys asked if we wanted to play with them, we agreed, naturally! Had a lot of fun. I'm gonna miss going to P.E. every Tuesday at 7am to 9am. And it is our very last P.E. Very sad.

Oh yeah, yesterday, we went to Janel's house since Mark had to make a Powerpoint presentation for our Computer class. We were supposed to do our project in Theology but since Janel said that her parents wouldn't want her to be alone with a guy in the house, we went too. Janel doesn't have Theology this semester so we had to "pretend" that we were doing something else. After awhile, we started making fun of each other, taking pictures, playing "heart-breaking" songs (I almost cried because some of them made me really depressed), jammed with Mau as he played the guitar, had heart-to-heart conversations, danced and sang along (Janel took a video of me dancing alone and of me dancing with Sarah and Meg; I hope she doesn't upload it on Multiply. I'll never show my face in public again if she does!) and just had fun. We ended up going home around past 10pm.

I've noticed that we keep on coming home late over the past few weeks. But I'm telling you, that's just a taste of what will happed to us next year. I'll explain it some other time.

Something's wrong with Yahoo! Mail; a dialog box keeps on popping out about "failing to retrieve the weather data" and whatever. It's annoying.

I'm multi-tasking! I'm typing here, I'm typing my paper, AND I'm reading FanFiction!

Friendster and Multiply are blocked from the computers here so I can't check them out. And Sir Eric finally approved my invitation!

And when I'm done here, I have to run out to Dapitan and have it printed.

*sigh* I hope I don't see him today. PLEASE don't let me see him today. My day started out great and I don't want it to go crashing down if I see him.

Okay, now I really have to finish my paper since my class will be starting in an hour. I have to write three pages; but the font is Arial and the font size is 14 AND it's 1.5 spacing. Yeah, I can do it.

Catch yah later, love!

2008-03-03T12:24:00.004+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "LOVE HEALS"

From: RENT[Movie/Musical]

No matter how much I want to choke on those words, I still love the song; because it came from RENT.

My head's aching a bit.

I'm being random, can you tell?

Tony's carrying a virus because the darn computer shop I went to had it and now whenever I plug Tony in, it comes out! UGH!

I still feel sleepy.

Papers, papers, papers, papers, papers, papers, papers......

After seeing him last Friday, I hope that I NEVER see him again. Everytime I do see him, I feel as if my heart's being clenched with iron fingers. It hurts so badly, I can't breathe.

The presentation I made for our assignment in Computer was okay; subject? My friends, of course.

Dad, Pats and Monsi came to visit me yesterday, and I had fun with them. I miss them already. Albert was right; I need to go home once in a while to "recharge my batteries", as he said.

I'm using the computer here in the computer lab. Our professor hasn't showed up yet so I'm making this post. Stat after this; great. I don't want to know my score from the last quiz. I'm certain that I failed it. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN.

I answered a lot of surveys on Multiply. I like doing that. Feel free to check them out: http://lauredilian.multiply.com

Gonna play football again on Wednesday.

I ate a whole pack of cookies yesterday and today. And I still want more. I hate being depressed. Does anybody eles have cookies? Or chocolate? I'm desperate!!

P.E. tomorrow; is it the last meeting already? I haven't researched on the rules of them game yet.

"There are those who shield their hearts, those who quit before they start. Who frozen up the part of them that feels.." - Love Heals, RENT

2008-02-27T19:40:00.005+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "SEASONS OF LOVE"
From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Has it really been that long? Oh well.

Honestly, I'm drained. Physically, mentally and emotionally; more on emotionally but I'll get to that later.

Physically, because we have been really "physical" for the past two weeks; played frisbee last Wednesday, football last Friday, and frisbee just a while ago, and we might play frisbee again on Friday. Whew! What a work-out, eh?

Mentally, lots of quizzes. That should be enough.

Emotionally..well..I'm still..I dunno..unsure of myself? Just when I thought that it was impossible for me to get over my past relationship, I still did, because of him. I know it's over, but I can't help but feel that it isn't. I really want to get this over with. I fell too fast and too hard and I don't know how it happened in the first place! I hate to admit this, but I really do love him and it killing me inside to think that he doesn't care anymore. I mean, after all that's happened, he just ended up squashing my feelings and leaving me out to rot on the streets. I think this was what he planned to do:

Take Lui's heart;
Squezze the life out of it;
Throw it to the dogs;
Whatever's left of it, dip it in acid;
Throw it on the streets;
STEP ON IT.

Yeah, yeah, I'm bitter. *sigh*

I got this comment from Gabs in Friendster; and it's so not making things easier.

(ang magbura ng comment, bungal)

vote for
LUI & DANZEL loveteam aka DUI
key in "Dui (space) Loveteam" and send to 2366

By the way, I have so many pictures on Multiply. Feel free to check them out.

I have to go.

2008-02-20T08:40:00.002+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "I'LL COVER YOU"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

It is so back!

The highlight of my week was when we went to the Mass held for Jun Lozada in La Salle on Sunday. I had a blast! Upon entering the campus, the people stood up and applauded when my tito walked in; me and my cousin were like, "Okay, keep walking, keep walking", although we did have like, 10 seconds of fame. And we sat just a few seats away from Tito Joey! And he still recognized me, despite the fact that we've only met once and that was like, a year ago. When Jun Lozada came in, all the reporters just pushed and shoved us out of the way just so they can get a shot of him. The mass was great; the homily the priest said was so uplifting.

And when the people stood up and sang "BAYAN KO", that was really beautiful. I took a video of it and I'll upload it when I have the time.

Grizzly Bear's coming over to UST later and we're gonna play frisbee!

Sorry for the really short post, but I really must dash.

Catch yah later, love!

2008-02-09T00:31:00.005+08:00

*This post has been delayed due to so many--uhh--delays; and I apologize. Originally published on the said date, but really published on Feb. 15.

LSS OF THE DAY: "GREEN FINCH AND LINNET BIRD"

From: SWEENEY TODD [Musical/Movie]

It may not be RENT, but it's still a musical

Finally! I can blog AND use my smileys!

Carl and Audrey's wedding last weekend was BEAUTIFUL; I had a blast with my family. If it wasn't for them, then, well, I wouldn't be this happy. I'm still waiting for the pictures to be uploaded; I think something's wrong with the software. And I miss everyone!!!. I hope we could have another get-together soon..

I love hanging out with my family, and I love them to death.

AB Week, or AB day? I guess Danzel was right, our Student Council SUCKS.

Speaking of Danzel..Yes, he was the guy who told me that he liked me last year. And you know what the funny thing is? I like him too. I remember talking to one of my friends some time this week and I told her:

"You know what? I'm not so sure of myself right now".
Her: Why?
Me: I like someone.
Her: What's so wrong about that?
Me: It's Danzel.
Her: Oh, yeah, there is something definitely wrong with that!

Maybe it's because of his "bad boy" image? Most probably, I guess.

But, I dunno, I really do like him. I told him, and he was actually happy about it. And you know what he asked me? "Will you be my Cinderella?"; I swear, I didn't know how to react to that But I said yes

But sadly, it just wasn't meant to be. All I can say is, it wasn't the right time yet. So we ended it, and hopefully, once everything's settled down, we can talk about it.

I WANT THOSE DARN ELECTIONS TO END.

We did this letter in one of our computer classes:

To my Valentine,

It’s that time of year again; that one day when everyone wears red and flowers and chocolates are being sold our everywhere. It’s sort of like Christmas, it comes once a year and minus the lights and the huge Santa Clause that block everyone’s way.

Love is in the air, they say; such an old saying and yet it still brings lots of meaning to many people. Smiles flash as bright as light bulbs and the deepest shade of crimson rivals that of the blood that courses through our veins.

Cupid’s overworking himself this year, as I have strangely noticed. His job isn’t easy so I hope he gets paid right; I guess seeing his targets fall helplessly in love is reward enough for him.

It may seem a bit sickening at times, when lovers show a little too much affection for one another; but I guess that I should cut them some slack since this does come just once a year. But since they are lovers, then they must show that they love each other everyday, right?

I hope you have a great Valentine’s Day and I hope that all the stuff I said didn’t ruin your mood.

Always,

Lui

Crazy, right? I don't even know who I was thinking of at that time. No particular person..

Our Valentine's celebration as a group was, well, a huge success. We had a lot of fun just sitting back, chatting, making fun of each other (and the other people around us); just being ourselves. Can't wait for next year!A big thanks to the people who gave me cards and chocolates; I LOVE YOU GUYS!

I'm kinda in a rush so I can't say a lot. Next time, love!

HAPPY HEARTS DAY!

2008-01-29T12:04:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "TANGO: MAUREEN"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

I listened to that the whole day yesterday; I really couldn't get enough of Joanne's beautiful voice.

I'm in the school library coz I'm saving on money.

I went to Baguio with ym relatives on Sunday and I just got back yesterday. The trip wasn't that long which surprised me a bit. It was like traveling from Dagupan to Manila; it didn't feel like we were coming from Baguio. I rode with Tito Jarius, Ate Menia and Kuya Abner since everyone else was left behind. Dad, Pats and Mon went straight to Dagupan, while Tita Marissa, Tita Melanie, Tita Inday, Tito Jim, Tita Vanessa, Tito John, Ally and Lauren followed around before lunch. I could have stayed with them but I think my Dad was concerned that I might get to the dorm late.

Had a lot of fun. It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo cold! I was already wearing pajamas, a long-sleeved shirt and socks but I was still shivering when I woke up. And it got even colder when I went upstairs for breakfast.

All my relatives (except for Tito Jarius and Tita Marissa) came from the States so I guess they're used to the cold.

I went to DS on Saturday. I missed talking to my friends there. Watched their field demo. I had a moment of weakness while I was filming it and I'd rather not mention it here 'coz I know someone will make fun of me for it. Ms. Manaois even talked me into riding the ferris wheel with her. I got a little dizzy after that since I wasn't really used to riding that thing. Nico had to drag me inside just to sit down so I could regain my equillibrium.

And speaking of Nico, I'm glad I have a friend like him. He's really nice and he makes me laugh. He's, in a word, malambing also. He likes to hold my hand in a very "sisterly-brotherly" way, since I do consider him as one of my "younger siblings" in school; and besides, I was classmates with is older brother in high school so that kinda makes our ties a bit stronger than the rest. Although some people thought that we were an "item" *cough*Chad!*cough*, we're just enjoying each other's company.

When Romeo came in with his family, he nudged me and told me that "there's your mother-in-law, sisters-in-law and brother-in-law"; even Jude (Romeo's brother) nudged him too, but I ignored them. There's nothing to say anyway.

I haven't made my lesson plan yet! I am in sooooooooooooooooo much trouble!

Well, I have to go. My classes start in thirty minutes.

'Til later, love!

2008-01-24T10:12:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "I'LL COVER YOU"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Yeah, yeah. You know the drill, sweetums.

*sigh*

..what? Oh. Yeah.

*shakes head*

I'm getting sick. I have the sniffles now and my throat's starting to hurt again. Ugh.

Anyway..

It's hard..you know. Pretending to be happy, when deep inside, your dying. Sometimes I wish that I could just rip my heart out and throw it away so I won't feel anymore. Sometimes I wish I don't have a soul so I could simply walk around, lifeless; that way I wouldn't feel the hurt, the shame, even the happiness that engulfs me. Sometimes, I wish, I'm not alive. I'm sick and tired of feeling. I'm sick and tired of EVERYTHING.

No, no, no..

Stop it already, Lui. You have to stop..

2008-01-20T00:39:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "OUT TONIGHT"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

It's been too long. And I'm sorry I can't do smileys.

It's been a hectic week; our preliminary examinations just finished in Friday and we are so drained. I don't think I did well in some of my tests because, well, I didn't feel like studying for them. Sure, it's normal for me to be lazy, but this is different. I dunno. Maybe I'm just not interested in my subjects now; I find Statistics immensely boring, I find Biology a complete waste of time and I even find English dull; I know, I always loved English. But I so don't like my professor there. What the *beep* is going on?!

So anyway, after our last exam on Friday (Biology), me, Meg, Sarah, Mau, Albert and Jigo went to Trinoma to unwind. On the way there, it was a non-stop laughfest in the car. It seemed to me that everybody was dying to release all that pent-up tension because of the exams. We went to Red Box and did karaoke. Sarah recorded us singing "Out Tonight" from RENT; it's on my Multiply so feel free to check it out. I had so much fun with those guys!

I went straight to Fairview after we left Trinoma. This morning, well yesterday morning, Maui and I went to Galleria to look for a dress that I could wear for our cousin's wedding. We had to look through a few shops before we found the perfect one. I'll post the picture when I get the chance. Then we bought shoes that'll match with it. We met up with Tito Jarius and Tita Marissa i Maui's condo before we headed out to Greenbelt to watch a play, "Tuesdays with Morrie". I was a bit worried that they might not do the book justice, and I love that book. But after watching it, I had tears in my eyes. They made it so well and the actors, Jose Marie Avellana as Morrie and Bart Guingona as Mitch Albom, were absolutely fantastic.

We went to Rustan's after because we had to buy our cousin's wedding gift. On our way there, Tito Jarius got a call from their driver saying that there was an accident at home. One of the workers who was doing the renovation on the deck on the second floor, got electrecuted. He was holding an aluminum bar when he got sucked up by the wires because of the electrical charge or something. He actually spun in mid-air before falling to the ground. He was rushed to the hospital. He's okay now. But according to them, his burns look horrible; third-degree burns. Ouch.

Thank goodness he survived. I consider that as a miracle.

I wish I could say more, but unfortunately, it's pretty late and I have to get up early in the morning.

Catch yah later, love!

2008-01-14T01:51:00.000+08:00

KILL ME ALREADY

..if you hate me so much. You'll be doing everybody a favor; trust me on that one.

2008-01-13T16:08:00.000+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS TO KATHLEEN ROSE RAYOS FOR PASSING UPCAT!

I am so proud of you! Love you, girl!

2008-01-12T22:36:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "FINALE B"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

How long has it been? Feels like forever to me

Honestly, everything's a blur to me now. I feel like I'm walking in a daze; everything seems so real, yet, unreal at the same time. Am I making any sense?

Sometimes I ask myself if what would have happened if I never agreed to take him back? Would things be different?

I used to love my solitude; those rare times when I could just kick back, relax and let my mind wander. But when that does happen, I find myself drifting back to our last conversation and before I even realize what's happening, the tears start falling.

It pains me to think that he's found a--replacement for me, for lack of better word; and after all that we've been through, he now only sees, and loves me, as a "friend". Now, tell me that doesn't hurt..I dare you.

One of my friends said that he's not over me; yeah, right. And he expects me to believe that? What a load of crap.

Try as I might, I can't get him off my mind. Somehow he's always being pushed back in. I've tried everything; making new friends, "flirting" with other guys (not THAT kind of flirting; my cousin says that I'm already flirting with them and I don't even know it!), even eyeing guys from a distance. But none of them work. At the back of my mind it's always, "But he doesn't have eyes just like him.." or "He's not as tall as him.." or "He's not as skinny as him..". I want that voice to just SHUT UP and leave me be.

I'm being incredibly stupid just by saying that I still love him, even though deep down, we'll never get back together again. There's something about him that makes it extremely difficult for me to move on. Maybe it was the time we spent together? Or all the fights, laughter and tears that we shared? Two years is a pretty long time too, you know..

I never thought that I'd reach a point in my life where I would feel this way; I'm so torn and utterly confused. I wish that this would never happen again.

I wish that the pain will go away, and never come back. This one heartbreak is enough to last me a lifetime, thank you very much.

"He doesn't love me..he doesn't love me.." Yeah, I should keep telling myself that.

I apologize for this post. I seriously need to get my life back in order before I kill myself. I'm serious. I'm depressed enough as it is..

2008-01-05T13:12:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "WILL I"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

It has been awhile..and I miss updating. And I CAN'T use smileys. Really, really sad.

I'm in Antipolo right now, with my relatives. My cousin, Nina, and I met up in Jollibee Philcoa yesterday since we both didn't know how to get here by commuting so we asked Kuya Aga (our tito's driver) to pick us up from there. And our cute little niece, Isabella, has been keeping us busy; we've been playing with her non-stop last night.

Wait...I have a lot more to say but I gotta go coz Isabella's been bugging me to play with them for awhile and I don't want to disappoint her.

Catch yah later, love!

2008-01-02T22:43:00.001+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "GOODBYE LOVE"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

New Year, yes, but same old habits

I'll pick up from where I left off; the Baguio trip. It was a lot of fun! Went horseback riding, bike riding and boat riding in the rain. My sister actually talked to her horse! My horses' name was Spirit

Skip to New Year's Eve: baked cookies! Just check out my Multiply. My cousin Andrea and I didn't sleep at all. Until now my head is still aching due to lack of sleep.

I just finished reading "The Golden Compass" by Philip Pullman; it's quite nice. I'm reading the second book now.

I know, not very helpful, but I'm feeling a little depressed since school starts tomorrow; I know, who starts school on a Thursday? It's completely ridiculous!

So....I gotta go pack.

Bye for now, love!

2008-01-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I konw, I know, I haven't been updating lately; I already made a post but I'm not done with it yet because I've been so busy enjoying my Christmas break.

I swear, I'll update soon.

I'll miss you, love!

2007-12-26T23:31:00.000+08:00

Your eyes
As we said our goodbyes
Can't get them out of my mind
And I find I can't hide from
Your eyes
The ones that took me by surprise
The night you came into my life
Where there's moonlight
I see your eyes

How'd I let you slip away
When I'm longing so to hold you
Now I'd die for one more day
'Cause there's something I should
Have told you
Yes there's something I should have
Told you

When I looked into your eyes
Why does distance make us wise?
You were the song all along
And before the song dies

I should tell you, I should tell you
I have always loved you
You can see it in my eyes

-Adam Pascal, "Your Eyes", RENT

I saw him this afternoon; I felt my knees got weak and I felt slightly light-headed. I shouldn't even be feeling that way; I hate it when he still has the power to make me feel weak. We actually had a short chat and I noticed that he looked at me in a funny way; it took me awhile to realize that he was looking at me the same way he did when he was on the verge of saying that he..well, loved me. Or if he didn't want to say it verbally, he always gave me that look that was enough to make me understand what it was he wanted to say. At first I thought that I was just imagining it, but that wasn't the case. I knew that he knew that he was looking at me that way, and he wasn't stopping himself. But, why didn't he, though?

I have some serious issues to sort out. Here we go again..

Going to Baguio tomorrow with Tito Adel, Nina, Andrea, Pats and Mon. Dad couldn't make it 'coz he's got work. Oh well.

Watch this video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8

Bye for now, love!

2007-12-25T22:33:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "I'LL COVER YOU"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

The year's almost over; and to think that I should be over this by now, right? WRONG

Before I start to break down and bawl my eyes out, let me tell you guys about our Paskuhan since I didn't say anything about it. On that morning, December 19, upon waking up, the first thing that I said was, "OUCH"; why? Well, it was my first day of "that girl thing" and it hurt like hell! I couldn't move for the next thirty minutes or so, I just laid there on the top-bunk of our double-decker bed and fought the urge to scream my ass off. When I finally got down, I took a long bath and left to withdraw money from the bank before meeting up with my friends.

I got some bad news: Grizzly Bear couldn't make it. Oh well.

Once we were all there, we exchanged gifts and took pictures; as night fell, we watched the fireworks, grabbed some stuff to eat, sat on the grass in the field, watched Parokya Ni Edgar as they played; stuff like that.

There are a few things that I learned that night:

When two of your friends are drunk, keep your distance or they'll breathe you to death;
Never leave anyone out, even if they're busy doing something else; always ask if they could come;
Don't wear too low-cut shirts;
Don't wear bright-colored shirts if you know that your gonna sweat a lot;
Bring a trashbag;
Bring lots of extra cash;
SLEEP AS MUCH AS YOU CAN THE DAY BEFORE SAID EVENT.

Yeah, two of my friends had I-S-S-U-E-S that day and they seriously need to sort them out by next year. They reeked of alcohol when they met up with us and it was disgusting.

And yes, we used trash bags to lie down on the grass since it was so...soily? Wait, is that even a word? Anyway, we sat there, as Parokya Ni Edgar played. It was almost midnight when we went home.

I went to Dagupan the next day.

I finally have the sheet music of "RENT" and "WICKED"; thanks Tita Beth!. Now all I need is a piano..

I got a henna tattoo! Just check it out on my Multiply.

On the 22nd, me and my family went to Manila to spend Christmas with our relatives in Fairview. Our relatives from Davao got there before us and there was a lot of greetings flying back and forth. That night, we watched this show called "The Wanders" in PAGCOR; it was amazing! All the stunts, the cute Chinese guys, the costumes, the cute Chinese guys, the songs, the cute Chinese guys and, oh yeah, the cute Chinese guys. I swear, my mouth was open through the entire show.

The next day, after hearing Mass, we played a game called "Cranium" which is sort of like a mixture of charades, trivia, drawing, clay-molding and a lot more stuff and it was really fun. Then at night we went to Trinoma, where we splurged on books, ate at Conggo Grille, and splurged again on TimeZone.

On Christmas Eve, our cousins from Antipolo came over for lunch and we had a game of Cranium, again. Had lots of fun, as always. We had a great dinner that night, then we opened our gifts and played games before hearing Mass. When we got back, we did a little bit of "witchcraft": runes, tarot cards; and as strange as it may sound, the runes and tarot cards that I got were--well--accurate to what I was feeling at the time. I won't say what they read, but let me just say that I was a bit freaked out.

And this morning, my family and the people from Davao went back to Dagupan..and here we are!

I had a great Christmas; I can't wait for next year

But sadly, my happiness isn't meant to last for long...

I know I shouldn't care. I know I should be getting over him; but no matter how hard I try, I just can't. It's like he's got this really firm grip on me that makes it hard for me to breathe. I was talking to him the other day and I asked him, just in passing, if he liked someone else; when he said that he might be starting to like someone else, I think my heart shirveled and burnt itself. I fought back the tears that threatened to fall even if I wanted to let it out so badly. I kept on thinking to myself, "You shouldn't care..you shouldn't care..". I wish I could say that it helped, but I would be lying to myself if I did.

After all this time, when I thought that I have started to move on, I crash back to where I started. I want to get over him so badly; I want this pain to end. This is so infuriating.

She's right; I'm trash. I don't deserve to be happy. Thank you for pointing that out; I needed a reality check.

With you my heart will always stay. With you my thoughts will be every day. You remain to be the one that I regret letting get away. Why didn't I say what I needed to say? You are the one I will always use my wishes on. You are the one I will always wish was never gone. I'll constantly wonder what went wrong. I'll forever think of what I could've did that was never done.

I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me, and I guess that's what hurts the most.

I hate you...and then I love you...it's like I want to throw you off a cliff....then rush to the bottom to catch you

Even if my heart should call out your name in the rain. Even if these arms should want to embrace you again. And even if I’m all cried out and no longer in pain... I’ll never fall in love that way again.

You said you couldnt stand to see my heart broken
... so when you broke it, did you close your eyes?

Try not to wonder about what might have been, ‘cause that was then and we have taken different roads. We can’t go back again, there’s no use giving in. And there’s no way to know, what might have been.

Loving is so short and forgetting so long.

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime

I wish I never said good bye... I wish I never let it die... but I did, and now all I want to do is cry

Things just keep getting better and better, eh?

Well, now it's time for me to lock myself up in my room, and cry my eyes out.

But before I leave:

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Alright, now that that's over with..

See you later, love.

2007-12-21T23:01:00.000+08:00

I'm creatively drained today so I'm not up for updating. So, I'll re-direct you guys to my Multiply site 'coz the pictures I uploaded pretty much says what's been going on with me.

Check out the Paskuhan pics and the abum with my new henna tattoo in it. So...off you go! Whoosh!

I don't know when I'll be able to update again 'coz I'm off to Manila tomorrow to celebrate Christmas with my relatives there. But I promise to do so as soon as I can, okay?

Enjoy the holidays, love!

2007-12-16T20:37:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "LA VIE BOHEME"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Uh-huh. You ain't gettin' that outta my system, baby. RENT IS FOR LIFE!

So anyway, the situation in the classroom hasn't changed yet, as if stuff like that evaporates overnight, huh? If only it were that easy then life would be so much easier. Our class president tried talking to us about it but we decided that we reall wouldn't go. I feel kinda sorry for her, since she's the one who's really showing that she wants us to go. but the rest? *scoff* Whatever.

And some of them just love to back-stab us. Go on, baby. Give it your best shot; you think that we'll back down on our decision and bow before you? You are so goddamn wrong. You think that your all that; well I've got news for you, sister: this isn't YOUR world where people follow your every move. We have our opinions too, and if you really respect us, you'd shut up. You'll regret the day that you ever messed with us, you EVIL WITCH.

I forgot to mention on my last post that we had an activity in English that day where we'd take a piece of paper, divide it in two, write on one side: "GOOD POINTS" and on the other side: "AREAS TO IMPROVE", tape in to our back and let people sign it. It was pretty fun, although I noticed that my friends didn't ask the people from the MAJORITY to sign theirs, and I was pretty sure that, given the way they've been treating us lately, they'd write down stuff that didn't mean anything. When it was over, I looked at my paper, and I laughed out loud. Why? Here's why:

AREAS TO IMPROVE:

Bad Tagalog

LOVELIFE

I swear, I was laughing my ass off! The "bad tagalog" part, I embrace whole-heartedly, but lovelife? LOVELIFE? I don't even have one to begin with so what's there to improve? But whoever wrote that, sure made my day.

Then on Friday, we watched the PASKULAY show because Jave was in it. Me, Janel, Meg, Sarah and Margot stayed but Judith and Iris had to leave early. As we sat on those steel benches, waiting for the show to start, some guys asked if they could sit with us. I was busy setting Janel's camera on self-timer so I didn't notice them until I came around to them and saw them already sitting there eating McDonald's. We were taking lots and lots of pictures while they were eating and we pretty much ignored them for awhile. One of them started talking to us and then another one joined in. When they were done, they left and we had the bench to ourselves once more. And a little later, two of them came back and started talking to us. We lamost forgot aboutthe show and we ende up talking to them the whole time; we even transferred to the field and sat on the grass to continue our conversations. It was already nine in the evening when we finally parted ways with our new friends: Jhay and Carlos, both freshmen, from Engineering.

Trent went whack that same night so I had him fixed yesterday in SM North Edsa since that was the only place that I knew of that had a Nokia store in it (Trent still has a warranty; it would be such a shame if I wasted money trying to have him repaired somewhere else). He had to be re-formatted. I went back to my dorm after that and I changed my clothes and went to meet with my friends in Mini-Stop because we had to go to Marikina for the football centennial thing. Since I didn't have a phone, I didn't know that they changed the location of the meeting place; so I was waiting for nearly an hour when I finally plucked up the courage to ask a fellow customer if I could use his phone to house my sim card. The first one just laughed at me; the second one didn't even hesitate to lend his phone to me, even though it was already low on battery. I finally made it to the LRT tation in Legarda where Meg and Sarah were waiting for me.

We got off at Cubao, and to kill time while waiting for Iris, we went to FULLY BOOKED. I saw sooooooo many Uncle John's Bathroom Readers there and I wanted to buy them all. If my sister was there, I bet she'd drag my Mom there too. When Iris came, we took a jeep going to Marikina.

When we got to the Marikina Sports Complex, there weren't a lot of people. So we bought food, sat down on the bleachers, took lots of pictures, watched the games, took lots of pictures, cheered for the teams, took lots of pictures and...well, you get the idea.

We had to leave around past eight because we didn't want to miss the LRT. Sarah and I had to pray that the gates of UST were still open or else we'd have to pass through Lacson, which is sooooo dark and creepy; plus, a lot of hold-up cases have been reported in that area. Thankfully, one of the gates was still open but we had to pass through a dark UST and Sarah kept on jumping 'coz she thought she "saw" something. We made it to Dapitan without any other problem and I made it safely to my cave.

The strange thing about not having a cell phone, I don't realize what time it is since I always check my phone. While I was dancing, I checked the time on Tony and it was already past midnight.

This morning, I went straight to SM North Edsa to claim Tony, then I went to Fairview; and I'm still here.

I invited Grizzly Bear to Paskuhan, and he agreed! But he said that he won't stay very long; that's okay. As long as he comes; too bad I can't do my smileys.

I must be off. Sorry if my post isn't organized; I'm kinda in a hurry.

I'll see you later, love!

2007-12-13T16:03:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "OUT TONIGHT"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Uh-huh. I now have a name for what I'm going through: THE RENT SONG SYNDROME; you like?

Smileys. Miss them.

Classes got suspended because of the strike so now I'm here in Netopia typing my assignment in History. So in a way, it's like a blessing ni disguise; at least I don't have to wake up at an unearthly hour tomorrow just to do it.

Okay, so this Christmas party thing..WHAT THE HELL?! I swear, if they blame us for whatever they could think of, they'll finally see the worst side of me.

What the heck am I talking about?

The thing is, our class officers want to have a Christmas party; we would have been okay with it, if they actually listened to what we wanted. Sure, they ask us what we want, but do they actually listen? Hell no. They have this big group of friends on one side of the room, while we're on the other side of the room. And what they want, they get. They completely ignore us. I dunno who said it, but they dubbed their side as the "MAJORITY" while we are known as the "CULTURAL MINORITY". How pathetic, and not to mention degrading and insulting, is that?

And one of them said, "We want to have a Christmas party becuase we want to celebrate it as a class". Honey, look around; do you think that our class is united? Or are you too plastic to admit that your only saying that to put up a good front?

We would have been okay with everything if you didn't just listen to your inner circle. Your not the only group that breathes inside that classroom; in case you haven't noticed, you didn't include the OTHER HALF of the class in your votes and whatever. YOU people voted yourselves as class officers, whatever YOU want gets followed. And do you think that just because we don't speak up we don't care? If only you saw the looks on our faces I bet you'd say otherwise. And besides, we've tried talking to you, but you just wouldn't listen, so we didn't bother anymore.

I'm not talking about just one person; there are a lot of them.

And a while ago, when class was dismissed, someone said that we shouldn't go out yet because the party still had to be planned. Then someone said that whoever wasn't going to attend the party may leave; so we got up and made our way to the door. Apparently, some people thought that we didn't hear the "stay to plan for the party" part so they repeated it; and then someone else repeated the "you can go if your not coming to the party" thing. I saw the looks on their faces; they looked a bit surprised. I bet they haven't had anyone walk out on them before, and I'm glad we did.

If they ask us why we didn't want to go, they'd better be prepared for a very long speech. They have it coming. And I'm actually thinking of some very good curse words that'll leave their noses bleeding. How sweet that would be.

I'm being mean, I know. But I'm just so effing mad at them. They need to be brought back to earth. Just because they were given their positions, (or rather, they chose THEMSELVES for that position) doesn't mean that they could abuse their powers. They have responsibilities too, you know.

I'm sorry for this "hate post", but I just had to let it out. Me and my friends already had this conversation earlier; Sarah was still fuming when we separated. And I'm sure that the MAJORITY will be talking about this. And come on, as if they're gonna miss us. They have a huge group and they only talk to us when they need something. Plastic, much?

*sigh* Okay, I should stop now. I still have an assignment to do. And I apologize if I didn't make a lot of sense; I'm still upset.

Until next time, love!

2007-12-12T09:03:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "SANTA FE"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Sooooooo not gonna get over it; tough luck. And I am never going to get over Jesse L. Martin's voice as well as Adam Pascal's (here we go again)

I miss my smileys!!!*cries*

As always, I was a little pissed at some people yesterday; same issue: they can't keep their mouths shut. Our professor was already boiling mad but did they stop? Hell no! And some of them eve had the nerve to try and shut everybody up but then they'd be the first ones to start talking anyway. Shit.

(I don't normally curse; that's how mad I am).

When class dismissed we listened to the UST Singers perform in the Quadricentennial park; that improved my mood a little bit.

Then we went to the front of the Main Building and watched the spotlights move across the sky; first the laser, now spotlights? And I thought we were on cost-cutting *ahem!* (Simon, are you starting to rub off on me?) Speaking of the devil, we waited for him while we were there; when he came, he was about to complain about something when I stopped him in mid-sentence. I told him that I didn't want to absorb more negative energy or else I'll go insane (when he complains, he COMPLAINS).

I just missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity; they announced that they were going to have an on-the-spot essay writing contest entitled: Remembering the Holocaust. And get this, the grand prize winner gets to go to Israel and be the Philippine representative of the World Youth Congress. I really wanted to join, but I had class at the time of the contest. As tempting as it sounded, I had to put my studies first. I'm sure there will be more opportunities coming my way soon enough.

Looks like I won't be going home this weekend; we're gonna attend the centennial celebration of the football federation in Marikina.

Speaking of football...we had our first practice game yesterday. It was pretty hot and by the time we got to the part of the field that was assigned to us, we were already sweating. All that running and kicking and passing sure wore us out, but we had fun. Now, my thighs are a wee bit sore; I can't walk very fast. Our professor forgot to let us do our warm-ups. Oh well. That's that.

I'm off, again. I'll miss you, love!

2007-12-10T15:06:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Like I said, I love it to death. Even my cousin was laughing at me for being stuck on that movie for so long.

And just like yesterday, no smileys. I'm in the school library using up my free internet access.

Sometimes I still wonder if they really grew up at all; last semester they were so darn noisy that I just wanna punch the living daylights out of them. Everytime they sit together, all else becomes nothing but murmurs and whispers because of them; they talk so loudly! It's not my fault that I care about passing my subjects and they don't.

Once again, I am hooked on FanFiction. Dramione rules!

Whoever want to exchange links with me, please link me and I promise to link you back as soon as I can. Remind me, okay?

Oh, and one more thing before I go:

GRIZZLY BEAR!!!

'Til later, love!

2007-12-09T20:22:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "GOODBYE LOVE"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

I don't think I am EVER gonna get over this coz I love it to death! Adam Pascal, darling, my love for life. *looks around at the people staring* ...what?

Okay, enough day-dreaming. *crash* Grrr. I hate it when that happens.

So sad. No smileys *cries*

Remember when I said that I was going to the mall yesterday? I did go, and as I was waiting for the jeep that will pass by my dorm, I thought, "How far is it from here to there?". So, guess what? I walked; yes, I walked. From SM San Lazaro to Laong Laan. As I was walking, I could feel the stares of some of the people I was waiting with; but what do they care, right? And I was walking pretty fast, too since I've gotten so used to walking with my Dad (who's a pretty tall man so you can only imagine the strides he takes) so I'm stuck to speed-walking. After about ten minutes, or even less, I reached the street which was behind my dorm. I didn't think that it was that near! And to think that I've been wasting money on taking a jeep when I could just walk. Oh well.

Last night, Janel threw a party for her eighteenth birthday at Betty's behind Sto. Domingo Church along Quezon Avenue. I met up with Meg, Iris, Albert and Jigo in UST and we left together. We had to walk a little bit but we didn't mind. Our other classmates were already there when we arrived so we passed the time laughing our asses off about..well, everything. Took loads of pictures and made complete fools of ourselves. Our table was the noisiest and we stayed that way through the whole party. Janel came out, and I swear, she looked like a living doll! She was so cute!

First came the eighteen candles; Iris, Jan, Bea, Sarah and Judith were part of it. Me and Meg? Well, we'll get to that later.

When her mom announced that it was time to eat, my guy classmates jumped to their feet and beat us at the line; Albert even said that they might have purged before going there just to make room for all that food. You know how it is in some parties, when there's at least one or two of the dishes that doesn't really taste good? But there, every single dish was delicious! I'm not exaggerating or anything; ask the people I went with and they'll agree. I couldn't believe it; most of us went back for second, and third, helpings. When the dessert came, our pants were so tight that most of us couldn't get up anymore. But some, mostly the guys, decided to go up anyway and grab the sansrival that they were serving. Damn, those boys could eat! And even after they ate their sansrivals, they still got dessert from the chocolate fountain; I only nipped a bite from Albert's since I was so darn full.

After a while, when our tummies felt a teeny bit lighter, came the next part of the program; instead of the traditional eighteen roses, they decided to make it more fun. So instead, they made it to eighteen SHOTS. Yup, y'heard me; shots. And that's where me and Meg come in. We talk on the microphone to say something to Janel, grab a glass of white wine, toast to her, and down it. It was pretty good; even after we were done with our glass we kept on asking for re-fills. I had three glasses; Meg had four.

Then came the dancing. I swear, you wouldn't find any group that's crazier than ours. I could see how the other people were staring at us 'coz we were so rowdy and absolutely noisy. But hey, we were having fun! I think the wine started getting to me after a while so I had to sit down. I'm not very good with alcohol; sure, I drank four bottles of beer last March, but after that I swore not to drink more than two because of my darn allergies. And so far, I haven't touched a single beer bottle and I am proud of myself for that.

Bea was making a big fuss over me and Albert; oh, you know, the usual: a single girl and a single guy, sitting beside each other, drinking white wine and having a blast and that would usually lead to yadda yadda yadda..puh-lease! That is so cliche! As if I haven't had enough of those in my life. I'm not searching for anyone, and neither is he; we both just got off of our previous relationships and the pain is still pretty fresh. He's having trouble getting over his ex, and I'm--well, working on it. If I do get into another relationship, it's not bound to happen any time soon. I'm not in a rush.

A little later, they gave us the souveniers which we little plastic things that light up and blink, and they gave us these really cute cupcakes that looked so pretty that I couldn't imagine myself eating it.

We left before eleven because we were so exhausted. Meg, Albert and I rode on a taxi; Meg got down first and Albert rode with me to the dorm. My feet were killing me but I didn't mind. I stumbled onto bed and lay down.

But did I sleep? No. Jan and I were still talking; we've been talking for almost a whole day. I wasn't able to talk to him on Friday night because of that little squabble we had during the meeting. So, in a way, we were making up for lost time, even though it was only for a day. I enjoy talking to him; he makes me laugh since we have the silliest conversations. And we talked until almost five in the morning; I fell asleep 'coz I don't think my eyes could keep themselves open anymore. And when I woke up, guess who I was talking to? Him, again. Until now we're still talking.

Something is so wrong with Trent. I need to have him fixed tomorrow after class.

And by the way, the pictures from Janel's birthday will be posted next weekend, along with the other pictures that I promised to post.

I'm reading FanFiction again; I can't believe how long it's been since I last read some of my favorite stories. I can't even remember which chapter I stopped in. i admire the people who cam write stories like that. Although I'm currently working on a story of my own, I haven't even written half of it. The thing is, I know the twists, I know what's gonna happen to the characters and I know how it's gonna end, but I just can't find the way to actually lead them to it. I am so gonna work my ass off this Christmas break over this story, if its the last thing I do.

Christmas..

I miss James. I want to see him again. He's been weaving in and out of my dreams lately, but I still long to reach out and actually touch him, even though it's no longer possible. Sometimes I still wonder why God had to take him away from me so soon; but now I know why: He wanted James to be my guardian angel, that way he'll always be there to protect me, unlike when he was alive we'd hardly see each other. Now, he has every reason to make sure that nothing happens to me. That's my buddy. And I love him for that.

I am currently in Fairview because there is absolutely no way in hell that I'm gonna spend another night in my cave alone. And besides, I get free internet access here. *sneaky*

Well, I'm off to reading more FanFiction; and I'm still talking to Jan. He's worrying about something.

Catch you later, love!

2007-12-08T10:28:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "NO DAY BUT TODAY"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

MAJOR relapse, love.

I can't use my smileys. Boo-hoo.

Sorry for the very delayed update; I've been pretty busy. It's not that I'm forgetting to update, on the contrary, I always make it a point to think about updating every once in awhile, but due to the present circumstances, I just can't. But I appreciate the fact that you guys keep on checking in for updates; that makes me feel very loved. So, a very big THANK YOU to all of you!

I guess the really great thing that highlighted my week was my trip to Bilibid Prison in Muntinlupa last Tuesday. No, we didn't get arrested (although all of us were already eighteen and above so we have every reason to get arrested), we were actually there to teach the inmates; inmates that were captured when they weren't even twenty-one. We left the school a little late 'coz the driver was taking his oh-so-sweet time, but we didn't mind. That gave us the opportunity to get to know each othee better; there were at least three or four represntatives from each course in my college and I didn't know some of them. On the way there, we were laughing and talking about everything and nothing; and they even made fun of me! They are so lucky that I was feeling good that day, otherwise I would have blown up on them; but in a goooooood way.

When we got there, we waited for the others to come because they had to commute since we couldn't fit in the van that we used. Once they arrived, and they did all these check-up things and the guys hadto get stamps on their arms, we went in. We went to this little room-sized building; the inmates started coming in.

We did the getting-to-know-you activity first before we had some real fun. I wish they let me bring my digicam; oh well. We had this activity wherein we say these statements and they have to answer "That's me" or "That's not me"; one of us said: "I am attracted to the opposite sex". One of the inmates said, "That's not me!"; very, very proudly. Man, we got a good laugh from that.

We left around past three; Waki and I still had classes so we had to rush.

Everything else was pretty much a blur after that.

So, moving on, to yesterday. We didn't have classes becuase the professors had to attend a seminar or something. But I had to get to school at nine in the morning because we were supposed to have choir practice; but when I got to the Pax Romana office, no one was there. I thought, "It's still pretty early; maybe they'll be coming in a little late". So I sat down, took out Tony and read the book that I brought with me. After twenty minutes or so, Lance showed up and told me that practice was cancelled because Kuya Pao (in charge of the choir) had to go home to his province. Lance told me that ke sent messages to us the night before, but by some stroke of bad luck, I didn't get it because Globe was going whack. We talked for awhile before I met up with Sarah outside; her group was going to interview some people for our assignment in BES.

When we were almost done, one of my classmates said that Jade was looking for me. I texted her and she said that we were going to interview the Editor-in-Chief of the Varsitarian that day; again, she said that they texted me the night before, so I didn't recieve it. I went to the Tan Yan Kee building and waited with them. The EIC of the Varsi was so talkative! But he made us laugh once in awhile which was pretty good.

After the interview, I met up with Sarah again in the carpark. Then Meg texted me and asked me if I could accompany her to do her interview with the CSC President (Central Student Council); I told Sarah and we both met up with her. The guard wouldn't let Sarah in because she was wearing slippers so we went to my dorm, I put on my rubber shoes and she put on my step-ins. When Meg was done, we went to Lovers Lane and took a lot of pictures! I'll upload them the next time I get home.

We went to the AB building afterwards because we had to attend the BehSciFed meeting with the people from the team building seminar in Marikina from last time. It was great to see them all again. Kuya Sherwin and Ate Hannah were being paired up by us and I'm pretty sure they hated us for it. Kuya Benedict looked so wasted so I tried to cheer him up by talking about the Bilibid trip. Kuya Chuckie, playful and funny as always. I love those guys; and I am so gonna miss them when they graduate.

We talked about the theme for the upcoming launching of the Federation. I want a goth theme!

Jan and I were bickering over something. Hahaha!

After the meeting, Sarah, Meg and I went around UST; all the lights! And the laser! Now we know where our tuition fee's going. Again, pictures will be uploaded when I get home.

By the way, according to a very reliable source of mine, Kuya Pao was impressed with how I was able to reach the really high notes during one of our practices, despite me being sick with the colds and all that. Awwww. I so love Kuya Pao now. Hahahaha!

Sorry for the blunt post. My creative juices dried up for some strange reason.

Well, I gotta go. I still have to go to the mall. Anyone want to come with me? Hahahaha!

See you, love!

2007-12-02T21:16:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "LA VIE BOHEME"

From: RENT [Movie/Musical]

Uh-oh. It's baaaaaaaaaaack. I missed it, you know. Now you guys better pray that it doesn't last long

I am so annoyed with myself right now; why? Because everytime I hear a date (like, September 19, 2007 or October 3, 2007) the first thing that comes to my mind is: "Romeo and I were still together that time" or "Romeo and I were already broken up at that time". And I think them as if it were the most natural reaction, like a reflex; I mentally scold myself for even thinking such things but I can't stop doing it. Sure, I'm doing better now but I can't help but feel like my heart doesn't want to let go of him no matter how hard I try. I try to avoid looking at our pictures or reminisce on the times we spent together and all that crap but nothing's working.

I got a text message from one of my friends yesterday and I felt like laughing and crying at the same time; the message said:

"Wizard of Oz to Tin Man: So you want a heart? You don't know how lucky you are not to have one"

Call me pathetic for getting so worked up about a single message, I don't care. I'm only human after all.

Sometimes I wish that I never agreed when he asked for another chance; maybe things would have been different. Maybe things would have been easier for me. And sometimes, though I hate to think it, I don't think he really loved me. If he did, well, then maybe--just maybe--we'd still be happy.

But no; LIFE had to get in the way.

*sigh* Oh well. I wish that there's still hope for this broken heart of mine. How I long for the day when someone will pick up the pieces for me and help me nurse it back together. Another disappointment like that would leave me crippled for life

Okay, enough of the drama *wipes away last tear*

I read something on Multiply today that made me very happy; I'll write it here so I hope whoever wrote it doesn't mind:

kasi ganito,.. yesterday i was reading all the blog entries of lui, (i really dont know her, just here in multiply, through her pix, and we're of the same educational system, but she's in manila, and am in baguio)i really love the one she included in her blog. the story of a gurl and a boy.,,hahhaha wala lang trip ko lang..

kanina when i was agen visiting her blog site(kasi ung blogsite niya lagi ko talagang binibisita:idol) i was really looking for that blog, unfortunately it was lost..huhuhu

yah, there's no more man like that man in the story.

(to give u the background of the story)hahahah ang haba..basta ung thought ganito:

may boy at gurl. naguusap sila sa fon.. lovers sila. then akala ng gurl may work cia.. may date sila. susunduin si gurl ni boy ng 7(ata). tapos un. nasundo na si gurl.. may surprise cia kay gurl then blind fold thing.. pumunta sila sa parang lover's lane ung nakikita ung view tapos lumuhod luhod..hahah(corny pero cool).. sabi ni gurl un daw ung lugar kung saan niya sinagot si boy...tapos sabi ni boy yah that's true...pero nga ung tanong.. "will u marry me"..hahahahahhanaiyak daw kunwari si gurl..(ang sayasaya).. tapos un..

sabi ni lui wala na daw ganung lalaki ngaun....may malaking X ung pix nila ng boyfriend niya..hhhuuhuhuhuh.....

yah..i agree with LUI's idea..there's no man like the man in the story.. if there wud someone hu'll do the same for me then THAT WUD BE A MIRACLE

Well, would you look at that? Someone's actually reading my blog! I was so touched. I gave her my new URL as a token of my appreciation. It just goes to show that even though we're from different places, there are other ways to touch each other's lives

I'll be going back to Manila in a few hours. Grr

I guess this will be it for now. I"m not feeling very inspired to write today so I hope you guys'll cut me some slack

Catch yah later, sweetums

2007-12-01T21:56:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "EVERY STORY IS A LOVE STORY"

From: AIDA [Musical]

IT'S SO COLD!

Just a few days ago I was beginning to think that the months in the calendar got switched because the weather was so not BER-y; you get what I mean. The sun was always out and the heat could make your clothes stick to you with sweat after just a few minutes. But now, honestly, I haven't shed a single drop of sweat. When I woke up this morning I was freezing so badly; I didn't even use the electric fan last night and I was already wearing pajamas, socks and a long-sleeved shirt. And when I got out of my room the temperature didn't change at all. Now that's what I call cold

I slept so soundly last night that I didn't wake up so early and I am so happy about it; I rarely sleep straight without waking up in the middle of the night. Thank goodness that I was able to sleep like a log

I was so busy last night; I was reading FanFiction while downloading songs, chatting with my cousin, Pao, and my friend, Jan; while uploading videos on YouTube and uploading pictures on Photobucket and texting Albert; talk about multi-tasking, eh?

I still have colds

People are asking about my smileys again; I won't tell you where I got them though. Beh!

It's gonna be Janel's birthday in a few days and her party's coming up soon as well; and I still don't have anything to wear! Help

..wait a sec; if Janel's birthday is in a few days, then that must mean--holy crap! I totally forgot!

IT'S DECEMBER!

I can be so ignorant sometimes

"You guys broke up? Why!?" -- oh, c'mon. As if you haven't heard of that already.

I'm not looking forward to going back to school on Monday. I swear, I just wanna lay down, close my eyes and SLEEP for as long as I can. I think the pressure's finally getting to me..

Too bad I'm not well enough to audition. Oh well. There's always next year

I might edit this post later.

2007-11-30T14:39:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "FORTUNE FAVORS THE BRAVE"

From: AIDA [Musical]

I wish Adam Pascal was my husband; that way I'd be able to listen to him sing to me every single day

I'M ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

I've had a very tiring week; I swear, if things get any harder I don't think I'll be able to cope with it.

First: On Sunday, we went to The Block near SM North Edsa; I had Mom buy me three books and I bet you will not believe what I got. "BORED OF THE RINGS", "THE DA VINCI COD" and the music sheet of Les Miserables; okay, the last one was okay but you gotta admit that the first two sounded funny. Then they dropped me off in the dorm since I had to attend that stupid LTS seminar; I had to dress up really quickly 'coz I think I only had fifteen minutes to spare. I speed-walked to the Engineering building (which was like, on the other side of the campus so it was a pretty long walk) and got there at around 3:05. I was so exhausted that I sat down as quickly as possible; but when the roll-call came, I was mentioned so I approached the iunstructor and asked why I wasn't called. She consulted her list once again but she didn't find my name so she told me to go to another room and look for one of the instructors who has the over-all lists. I left and went to the said room but he said that he didn't havve the list so he told me to go to another room and asked the instructor there. I did as he said but when I got there, surprise surprise, my name still wasn't there. So, she told me to go to another room; this time, the instructor in that room had all the lists and I finally found where I should be. I already wasted almost thirty minutes going back and forth from all those rooms. We'll be teaching in Bataan in Febuary.

Then, on Monday, while I was in Netopia and Tony was plugged on the PC, when I took him out, ALL MY SONGS AND VIDEOS were gone. I was so upset; Tony was one of my links to civilization! I had almost 2,000 songs and a lot of videos; ALL GONE. But luckily, I saved some of the songs so I asked one of my classmates to transfer them for me. I'll just have to download the rest later.

Tuesday, during P.E., we had to learn how to pass the ball with our heads (I'm taking up football with my friends); it hurt as first but as we got used to it, it wasn't so bad. But my head hurt so badly on my way back to the dorm, along with my back, legs and the upper part of my arms. Later in the afternoon, I was sitting outside the classroom waiting for the freshmen to come out when I saw one of my old friends; we talked for a while before he went up the stairs. I missed him. When the people in the classroom came out, I went in with my friends but as soon as I sat on my chair at the back, the PA did its annoying opening tune. At first I thought that they could be praying the Angelus but then I realized that it was almost one in the afternoon; the Angelus was said at twelve. Then someone announced:

"Attention, may we request all students, faculty and personnel to be please evacuate the building and proceed to the pavillions in front".

I was surprised but I immediately grabbed my bag and followed everyone out of the room. I felt my phone vibrate in my bag but I didn't take it out since we were still walking and there were a lot of people so I couldn't risk dropping it when someone bumped into me. Once we were outside with Sarah, on of my friends, we frantically searched for the others; when we couldn't find them I thought of texting them so when I got my phone I read the message someone sent me earlier. It was one of my classmates, and friend, Janel, who said that there was an earthquake. An earthquake? No way! I didn't feel a thing; and from the look on Sarah's face after I told her, she didn't either.Then our ABSC president came by and told us to go to the Plaza Mayor where all of the AB students are assembling. We went there and talked with a few more people, asking if they felt the quake; some of them did, some of them didn't. We managed to find our other classmates and we wiated for any further announcements; we even took pictures just to kill the time

So many people; Meg and Sarah goofing around

We thought that classes were going to be suspended but they resumed it anyway; darn

Wednesday, quiz in Statistics and PhilHist. After class I attended the Pax Romana choir practice; it's been awhile since I attended because of all the stuff we've been doing. I really missed it there. Made a lot of new friends too. We finished around six; on my way out, Kuya Sherwin saw me and called me over. He told me some stuff and he asked if I was available next Tuesday; I said yes, so he asked if I wanted to join the exposure trip to Bilibid. Naturally, I said yes; it may be a prison, but the memories from last year's trip there came flooding back and I really wanted to go there again. He said I could invite one of my classmates. Then we talked for a while longer nefore leaving. It was also about this time that I decided that I will not audition for Moulin Rouge; my colds aren't getting any better

Thursday, we had our reporting in English and we were required to dress up in corporate attire; I had to ask Hazel if she could lend me some since all my other stuff is in Dagupan. She said we did very well, and I think we did okay. At least we're done. And, yeah, the whole coup d'etat thing. I asked my Mom if she could pick me up from the dorm and to immense surprise, she agreed. I only knew about the whole Trillanes thing when my Dad texted me; I asked Meg to fill me in on it. When I got to the dorm, I waited for Mom. After about an hour or so, she went up to my room; I asked her why didn't she just text me? Turns out that I haven't been recieving any of her messages for the past half hour. She told me that we had to get out of there as fast as we could because they imposed a curfew. Needless to say, I was silently panicking while we were on the road; there was no way in hell that I am going to spend a whole night in a police station if we got caught. And guess what? We passed through the last check-point at exactly 11:59; how cool is that? So, yes, we were spared.

Thank you to the people who were texting me that night and to those who tried to keep me calm

Now I'm home and I'm hoping that there wouldn't be another seminar on Sunday.

I really hate being sick

I can't believe how stubborn he is! I WANNA KILL HIM!

Okay. If that's the way she wants it, so be it.

I saw someone last night when we were in one of the restaurants along the Expressway; she looked so--familiar.

So far, I haven't had any weird dreams and I've been sleeping very well for the past few days. Usually I wake up in the middle of the night or early morning a few times but not any more. I hope it stays this way

I've written about twenty-five pages of my story in one of my notebooks. Now I'm getting a major case of writer's block. Darnit

Martina McBride's music videos of "God's Will" and "Concrete Angel" made me cry. Watch them yourself: Concrete Angel, God's Will.

Alright, best be off. I have a lot of downloading to do

2007-11-24T21:57:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "ELABORATE LIVES" (Reprise)

From: AIDA [Musical]

Don't look at me that way

This is my first post using my new URL: http://nightwishesofadaydreamer.blogspot.com

Why did I change it? Simple. Some people don't know the purpose of a blog. They think that I'm giving away everything; but that's the point: this blog is supposed to be my outlet. And you know what hurts the most? My own family's suppressing me; I know, bad for me

Why is my new URL like that? I dunno. I was thinking of a good URL last night and that was the first thing that come into my mind. I'm a self-confessed day-dreamer, that's all I can say because honestly, I really don't know how I came to think of that

So, I'm not telling any of them my new URL; only my link-exchanges know about it.

Anyway, my sister and I watched "ENCHANTED" and I loved it! It's so cute! Go watch it!

From: http://www.ioncinema.com/movie.php?id=2164

I'm leaving for Manila tomorrow with my sister, Mom and Doc. Darn LTS

I have a project to do. Update again soon.

2007-11-23T23:12:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "HOW I KNOW YOU"

From: AIDA [Musical]

You know as well as I do that I'm never gonna stop obsessing over musicals, right?

It's been an interesting week but the highlight of it was:

I TOUCHED A CADAVER!

Yup! You heard me! And it was so cool! I wanna do it again

Lots of work to do. I hate secomd semester; the hardest subjects are usually there

I forgot to mention in my previous post that I had three dreams in just one night; well, morning to be exact; I kept on waking up so I wasn't able to finish all of them. The first one involved Romeo; I can't remember which one of us was leaving but he kept on saying "It's not fair". I was curious, I wanted to know what it meant.

The second dream (right after I fell asleep again), it was raining, and I was standing on a ship. And to make things a little more weird, Orlando Bloom was standing beside me and Johnny Depp was somewhere there ordering people around; I was in Pirates of the Carribean. Another ship was chasing us and they were pelting us with cannon balls and--arrows? Who uses arrows in a thuderstorm during a ship-chase? So, anyway, Orlando (or rather, Will Turner) got hit and I had to take of the arrow and try to stop him from losing a lot of blood; he woke up awhile later, and so did I. I would have loved to finish that dream

Third dream: We were in a huge house; it was abandoned but then we weren't really sure if the real owner of the house was still there or not; in other words, dead or undead. You get the picture. We were lookig for something so we searched through the whole place; we even had some police guys accompany us; big guns and all. We went to the top floor to search the room of the "owner"; it was locked so we had to use the spare key we found somewhere. When it opened, we stepped inside and I saw that the electric fan was on; I remember telling my companions nervously that we should hurry. After a few minutes, I stepped out of the room and there was a flight of stairs behind me; all of a sudden, I heard a creak. I looked down quickly, only to find that a cat was passing by. I sighed in relief but then something strange was moving from my peripheral vision; a hand was creeping up the railings of the stairs and then I saw a person; all I thought of at that moment was to warn my companions because I was staring into the evil eyes of the pwner of the house. I waved my arms frantically because no sound was coming out of my mouth; I finally managed to blurt out: "She's here!" before waking up. It was then I realized that I actually screamed it; my heart was beating so fast that I was afraid that it would fall off or something. And then I prayed that my room mates didn't hear me; thank goodness one of them was fast asleep while the other one was taking a bath at that time. Whew!

Wierd, huh? But it keeps my life interesting

I'm coming down with the colds. Darn it

I'm planning to audition for Mediartix some time next week. Wish me luck

First seminar for LTS is on Sunday, 3-4 in the afternoon. Grrr

2007-11-17T21:40:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "WRITTEN IN THE STARS"

From: AIDA [Musical]

I'm back to this again; sorry guys

First week of school was okay; I mean, sure we've been loaded with stuff to do already, and some of our professors are just down-right boring and then we've got a mini-thesis to do for Statistics (what was she thinking?!), but other than that, things are okay. Just another day in the life of a college sophomore in the University of Sto. Tomas

We attended a seminar hosted by the Behavioral Science Federation in Marikina; I had a blast! I made new friends from UP Manila and De La Salle University, had a lot of fun with the activities and I even have a little crush on someone (hush, hush!). We stayed there over-night and the guy who owned the place had a pool and a jacuzzi! I took a LOT of pictures and here are just some of them:

The participants from UST and UPM

I'm sitting on Kuya Martin's chest; part of the activity

Kuya Ryan had to lift me to cross to the other side. Poor guy. Hahaha!

Sleepy me

More pictures on my MULTIPLY

Look at Simon's new hairstyle!

Love it!

PLAN A: FAILED. Gotta make Plan B.

Look how flooded it got in front of my dorm last Thursday

Sorry, I'm out of stuff to say.

'Til next time!

2007-11-06T20:58:00.000+08:00

I'M OFF TO MANILA!
Darn school.

Will update as soon as I can.

'Til then, see you later muchachos!

2007-11-05T21:22:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "EVERY STORY IS A LOVE STORY"

From: AIDA [Musical]

It's really nice; with a bit of rock and pop to it

And, I , I close my eyes
And, I kiss that frog
Each time finding
The more boys I meet the more I love my dog
- CARRIE UNDERWOOD, The More Boys I Meet [Carnival Ride]

I was laughing so hard when my sister let me hear this

I was reading FanFiction when I cane across this story (Dramione, of course) where Darco and Blaise were talking in Italian; well, cursing was more like it. I dunno if they're for real though.

MA CHE MENCHIA

IN NESSUN MODO DA INFERNO!

Tu parlare percio´ educatamente

Chiudi quel fottuto culo

I'd rather not put down the transaltions. I'll only tell them to the people who ask

There was another story in FanFiciton where they made Hermione gay. I didn't read it anymore

My sister intoduced me to a site of a movie that will be released on December 7.

Meet my Deamon, ADAN

In the movie, The Golden Compass, a person's soul lives on the outside of their body in the form of a daemon - an animal spirit that accompanies them through life.

A child's daemom can change shape, assuming all the forms that a child's potential inspires; but as soon as the person ages, their daemon gradually settles into one form, according to their character and nature.

For example, a person with a dog daemon would tend to follow authority, whereas one with a cat daemon would tend to be more independent. A person's daemon is usually the opposite sex to its human partner.

Try it out and see who your Daemon is -- http://goldencompassmovie.com

Tita Beth finally found the sheet music books of RENT and AIDA!. Now I can practice playing the piano again

There's been a change in plan; I'm going back to Manila on Wednesday instead of tomorrow. So happy!

2007-11-03T21:38:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "NOT ME"

From: AIDA [Musical]

It's either that or "RENT"; take your pick

*sigh* I'm so exhausted; physically and emotionally (Wow, I just repeated the same thing from one of my old posts). Physically because I haven't been sleeping very well, which is entirely my fault since I've been sleeping early in the morning and waking up in the afternoon. Emotionally, well, I bet you guys know that already.

Remember what I said before, about me and Romeo not talking? Well, the other day he sent a group message (GM) and I was so pissed; let's just say that I wasn't supposed to read a part of it. If only he sent it to the people with whom he was texting with that night and I WASN'T ONE OF THEM. So why on earth did he bother to send it to me when I wasn't even speaking to him? UGH! He can be so infuriating!

I even saw him in the cemetery while me and my brother walked around to find something to drink; one of his friends called me and when I turned, I smiled at all of them but not HIM. Too bad.

And then last night, he sent me quote, which melted my heart a little bit but then it was gone as quickly as it came. I was bit touched by it, but..I dunno.

Someone sent me this on Friendster:

Boy and girl
talking.. On the
phone

-Girl
I love you.

- Boy:
Yeah I know everyone does!

-Girl:
Really?

- Boy:
Yeah...every one of my friends that are
girls tell me that everyday.

- Girl:
Oh...but am I only your friend?

- Boy:
No...You’re my girlfriend...why?

- Girl:
So when I say I love you I really do
mean it.

- Boy:
Yeah I know you do mean it...its just
that you dont need to tell me that you
love me anymore cuz I know you love me
since the day we been together and i
love you more each and everyday.

- Girl:
......

- Boy:
So wanna go somewhere tonight for our
7th anniversary?

- Girl:
Yeah...wher e?

- Boy:
I dont know...maybe movie then dinner?

- Girl:
Ok.

- Boy:
Ill pick you up after I get off and get
ready ok?

- Girl:
Ok. What time do you get off?

- Boy:
In 2 hours and then I gotta go home and
yeah get ready which takes about 15-20
mintues...

-Girl:
hey...I thought you didnt have work
today...

- Boy:
One of my co-workers called in sick.

- Girl:
Oh okay! So ill see you around 7:30
then?

- Boy:
Yeah! and babe?

- Girl:
Yeah?

- Boy:
I love you.

- Girl:
I love you too!

- Boy:
Ok my manager is like looking at me so
yeah.... i gotta go.

- Girl:
Ok bye.

- Boy:
Bye.

**************** ************

2 hours later...

The guy drives to his girlfriends house
and walks up to the door and rings
bell.

- Girl:
Hey! (gives a kiss to her boyfriend)

- Boy:
Wassup...you ready?

- Girl:
Um...wait.. .let me get my bag and we
can
go ok?

- Boy:
Ok.

They both watched a movie and ate
dinner...once they were done eating
they
he ad back to the car but before she got
into the car...

- Boy:
Wait! Can I blind fold you?

- Girl:
Why??!

- Boy:
Its a suprise.

- Girl:
What kind of suprise?

- Boy:
A big one.

- Girl:
Okay but only if you promise me that
you
will hold my hand while we're driving.

- Boy:
I promise.

- Girl:
Ok blind fold me...

So they drove off...........and then
they stoped.

- Boy:
Ok we're here!

-Girl:
Where?

- Boy:
Wait let me walk you to the place!

- Girl:
What place?

- Boy:
Somewhere! (and gives a kiss to her on
the lips)

- Girl:
Baby!...

The boy walks her to the place.

- Boy:
Ok...let me take the blind fold off.

- Girl:
Where are we?

He takes it off her and she opens her
eyes and sees the view of the city and
at that same spot...that's where he
first asked her to be his
girlfriend... .

- Girl:
Omg...(tear s come down)

- Boy:
Why are you crying?

- Girl:
This is where you first asked me out...

- Boy:
What are you doing the rest of your
life? (he asked on his knees and after
he says that...behind him...in the air
it says "Will you marry me?" in
fireworks)

- Girl:
(tears come down faster)

- Boy:
I wasnt at work when you called me...I
was planning this whole thing!

- Girl:
Get up!

- Boy:
Yeah?

- Girl:
(kisses him)

- Boy:
Is that a yes or a no?

- Girl:
Yes.

Well, you don't get guys like THAT anymore.

Thank you to the people who have talked some sense into me; I was being a little rash but hey, I'm only human. I'm looking forward to the day when I can look back on all of this and laugh my heart out.

But for today, let me say:

~~ROMEO AND LUISA~~

~~ROMZ AND LUI~~

~~AZRIAN AND EURICE~~

~~LOMEO AND RUISA~~

~~20 and 12~~

are

~~going strong~~COMPLETELY OVER

There, I said it. Now all I have to do is try to convince the people who liked us so much that they shouldn't keep their hopes up of us getting back together. I wouldn't want them to believe that everything is alright between us, when it really isn't.

Thank goodness Adam Pascal lives; his songs are making me very happy

Going back to Manila on Tuesday, school on Wednesday. Great.

Can anybody suggest songs that I could download? Tony is in serious need of new songs

2007-11-01T00:14:00.000+08:00

NEW HAIRCUT!

Pretty short, so what? It's pretty hot even though its a "BER" month.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2007-10-29T22:35:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "WRITTEN IN THE STARS"

From: AIDA [Musical]

First "RENT", now "AIDA"; you guys better pray that this doesn't go on for long

*sigh* It's really over; it's been three weeks since we broke up but it feels like we just ended it today. Romeo and I had a long talk just awhile ago; lots of exclamaition points and question marks included so I was kinda imagining that we were screaming at each other. I don't know why, but we're having a bit of difficulty in "moving on" and I think that we finally got on each other's nerves. We agreed that we wouldn't talk for awhile; no seeing each other, no contact whatsoever. Needless to say, we parted on a sour note; partly my fault but I don't give a damn anymore.

I'm being stupid. He's a guy for crying out loud! MY WORLD ISN'T SUPPOSED TO REVOLVE AROUND HIM.

But why is it so hard to forget about him? Is it because I defended him from my parents? Is it because we were together for two years (minus the six or seven break-ups during that time; we broke up for a lot of reasons but I'd rather not discuss them here)? Is it because of everything that we've been through together? Is it because he was the guy with whom I had the longest relationship with? If those aren't the reasons, then why? Why, why, why?!

I want to forget about him. I want to see him without wishing that he was mine again. I want to smile when I hear that he has a new girlfriend instead of seething with jealousy. I want to see him without going weak in the knees. I want to think of him without crying my eyes out. I want to laugh at our memories together instead of longing to revive them once again. I want to be able to look him in the eye and tell him how happy I am for him instead of avoiding him everytimne we happen to meet by chance. I want to talk to him and hang out with him as we used to do when we were still friends. But, for some reason, I don't think that we will ever be friends again. We've been through so much and its pointless to end by just being friends.

If I agreed that we'll be friends, then to him its like I said, "I'm still going to wait for you"; when I turned him down on his "friend" offer, its like I said, "I've had enough. You've hurt me more times than you can ever imagine".

The thing that I don't like about myself is that when I do fall in love, I REALLY FALL IN LOVE. It took me a year to get over my first boyfriend even though we only lasted a week! And we lasted for two years; how long will it take for me to get over him?

I need your opinion. Do you think I did the right thing in telling him that we will never be friends? Or do you think I should have told him that I'm not ready for it yet? Did I do the right thing? Did HE do the right thing? Please tell me what you think. Don't flood my tagboard; use the "Comments" thingy below this post. Any feedback would be very much appreciated. If your gonna give me lecture or something, my e-mail address is on the right side of this page. Be sure to make your subject related to this or else I'll delete it right away.

And coincidentally, my LSS today matches my mood.

I'm here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me or speak of me and wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago so well

Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand

Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
For some God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide

You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned

Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time

For some God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

Damn. I feel like crying again. As if I haven't cried enough when we were talking.

"Love is like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day, you want more. You're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you like you can still control things. You think about that person you love for two minutes, then forget them for three hours.
But then you gte used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he's not there, you feel like an addict who can't get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you're willing to do anything for love".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him.
Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering."

- Paulo Coelho, "By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept".

Help

2007-10-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "A STEP TOO FAR"

From: AIDA [Musical]

Wow. For the first time in -- uhh -- three months, I have an LSS that's not from "RENT"; I bet some people are saying "Whew! Finally!". But of course, I still love it; and ADAM PASCAL. Though it really doesn't make that much of a difference 'coz Adam Pascal also did AIDA

My sister and I watched "STARDUST" this afternoon; I absolutely loved it! Go watch!

POSTER

CLAIRE DANES AND CHARLIE COX; What happens to them? Read the book or watch the movie

I got the summary from http://www.starpulse.com/Movies/Stardust/Summary. I'm too lazy to type it myself.

A charmingly naïve boy from the English village of Wall travels to a magical, mythical world in search of the falling star that will help him win the heart of his true love in this fantasy adventure starring Charlie Cox, Claire Danes, Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ricky Gervais, and Sienna Miller. For hundreds of years the massive cobblestone barrier that surrounds the sleepy English hamlet of Wall has kept the citizens of the village safe and secure from the malevolent supernatural forces that stir just outside its perimeter. When dashing Tristran Thorn (Cox) promises the fairest girl in the village, Victoria (Miller), that he will prove his love by bestowing her with a genuine falling star, his daring mission sends him on an adventure far outside the comfortable confines of Wall. In order to find the fallen star, Tristran will have to ascend the wall and venture deep into the forbidden heart of the fantastical realm known as Stormhold. Upon discovering that the meteorite he sought was in fact a beautiful girl named Yvaine (Danes), who has stumbled though space and is now being pursued by the King of Stormhold's (Peter O'Toole) sons (who long to use her cosmic powers to lay claim to the throne), Tristran vows to protect the otherworldly visitor at all costs. But the King's sons aren't the only ones in search of the luminous Yvaine; fearsome witch Lamia (Pfeiffer) has become convinced that the young girl's power can help her to achieve eternal youth and beauty. As Tristran makes his way through Stormhold on a mission to bring the star back to Wall, he will encounter a series of spectacular characters and creatures that will lead him to a fate he never imagined.

I was only able to read half of the book coz I borrowed it from my cousin. But my sister was happy 'coz for ONCE, I don't know how its going to end; she kept on reminding me that almost every book that I've read gets turned into a movie so I know everything about it.

When it comes out on DVD, I am so gonna buy it!

I finished reading "The Guardian" last night; I already started with "By The River Piedra I saw Down and Wept". Nice title. And the first part made me cry a bit 'coz I can relate to what the character was going through. *sigh* Love..

All for now

2007-10-26T21:31:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "SEASONS OF LOVE" FROM "RENT"

"Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.."

Went to Domincan again; watched the game between the DS Alumni and the parents. And we won!; I was their main cheerleader

CONGRATS TO THE DOMINICAN PARTICIPANTS OF UP SUBOL! WE ARE ALL SO VERY PROUD OF YOU!

The color of the day was black; almost everyone was wearing black. Well, almost all of the outsiders were wearing it; me being one of them of course. And somehow, I felt younger today coz I was hanging out with the batch of students that were a year younger than me. So fun!

Something's been bothering me since I went to DS on Wednesday; I'm starting to suspect that "someone" is starting to like me. I've been observing him for awhile but I'm not going to make any conclusions just yet. But the mere thought of it scares the hell out of me

Mom bought me three books; "The Guardian" by Nicholas Sparks, "By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept" by Paulo Coelho and "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. I've already started with "The Guardian".

I fell asleep with a smile on my lips last night; but I was haunted by a nightmare in my dreams.

Why is moving on so hard to do?. He's all I think about. I really hope I could get over him soon.

2007-10-25T20:21:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "WILL I?" FROM THE MOVIE, "RENT"

TODAY IS ADAM PASCAL'S BIRTHDAY!

I had a great time while watching the Intrams in Domincan this afternoon; I had fun cheering for the teachers and parents. Poor Ma'am Valle. Hahahaha!

Some of my classmates from high school were there too; I wasn't able to see some of them yesterday so a lot of hugs and kisses went around. Its always great to see the again; nothing beats the years we spent together.

And of course, the college freshmen were there; I'm pretty close to their batch. As I leaned back and listened to their stories about how they were coping with college life so far, I couldn't help but smile and think back to the times when I was just like them nearly a year ago. I'm very proud of them and I can't wait to hear what they have to say next year. Now a lot of the seniors were asking me how I'm taking it; I smiled and told them that everything's okay once you get past the first school year.

I took pictures of Sister Althea!

How cute is she?

Ronn said "hi" to me as I was passing by on my way to the canteen with Louise; we just ate some really burnt peanuts so we had to get something to get rid of the nasty after-taste. When I said "hi" back, I knew that Romeo's eyes were watching me; I felt it. I guess he was hoping that I would look at him and say "hi" to him, too. But unfortunately for him, that didn't happen

When he did say "hi" to me, I just nodded my head and avoided his gaze. I'm not ready to face him just yet.

I just remembered a song that my sister let me hear some time ago; by Carrie Underwood. The chorus really hit me.

Oh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Damn. I could hear and feel my heart breaking again

2007-10-24T22:34:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "GOODBYE LOVE" FROM THE MOVIE, "RENT"

...what?

I met up with Tita Meg on Monday and I had a great time talking to her. She told me so many stories of when she was young and when my grandmother was still alive; I wish I could tell them all but unfortunately I'm feeling a little down. Maybe next time

Enrolment was HELL. We waited in line for more than three hours and in the rain too! My feet were killing me and we had to have our registration forms xeroxed for NSTP; we finished around near 6 in the evening. And I had to wait in traffic while going to the bus station; and I got wet. Darn rain

I got this "Spell Your Name" thing from Simon; try it!. I spelled my name in bold.

A - likes to drink (well, kinda)

B - likes people

C - wild and crazy

D - great perosnality

E - good kisser

F - people adore you

G - decisive

H - good looks and personality

I - loves everyone (i seldom hate anyone; well, rarely)

J - lives life for fun

K - silly

L - loved by everyone (ask around; maybe there are some people who don't love me)

M - makes duties fun

N - drop-dead sexy

O - best in bed

P - popular

Q - hypocrite

R - supercrazy

S - is to fall in love with (really? who knew?)

T - loyal

U - loves to chill (I AGREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!)

V - not judgmental

W - broad minded

X - assertive

Y - best girlfriend/boyfriend

Z - always ready

What does your name spell?

Went to Dominican this afternoon; Kathleen won't stop bugging me into going. I saw my classmates from high school and I had fun talking to them; I can't believe how much they've changed. Not in a bad way though.

I asked Nicole a not-so-personal question; and I was surprised at his answer. Actually, he made my day

I tried to avoid Romeo, and I succeeded

I had fun talking to Cledan and Nicole

I just got the biggest shock of my life; until now I don't think it completely sunk in or something

I am STILL obsessing over Draco and Hermione

I'm still exhausted.

2007-10-21T21:48:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "NO DAY BUT TODAY", FROM THE MOVIE, "RENT"

Do I have to say anything about this? Nah

I'm going to Manila tomorrow morning for our enrollment on Tuesday; I can't believe we have to wear our uniforms. And I'm gonna meet with one of my aunts.

If you are a die-hard Draco-Hermione fan like me, I suggest you check this site. Its so cool! And the moderators are really nice. I also included this in "MY EXITS" on the navigation bar.

http://www.freewebs.com/fire-and-ice07

Check out the pictures of Draco and Hermione; so cute!

I even got to chat with them last night; that's why I stayed up until three in the morning but it was so worth it. They're from the U.S. and another one was from New Mexico; how cool is that?

Not much to say.

Be back on Tuesday!

2007-10-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

LSS OF THE DAY: "I'LL COVER YOU" FROM THE MOVIE, "RENT"

Yesterday, it was the sad version; now its the happy version. I love listening Jesse L. Martin and Wilson Jermaine Heredia; their voices are perfect

My current desktop:

What can I say? I'm proud of my school

My current wall paper on my cell phone:

I LOVE HIM TO DEATH!

If I find an even BETTER picture of him, I am so gonna take it!

Glorietta2 got bombed this afternoon and I'm scared as hell; so far we haven't gotten any news if any of our family members were there (my tita and her two kids often go there) and we are so thankful.

I am loving The Eagles. They may be a little old, but the are still the best; try listening to their song "How Long".

I am still obsessing over the Draco-Hermione pairings in FanFiction; good thing I'm not the only one

Uhh..excuse me? Romeo who? Next!. I can be so mean sometimes; but nah, I'm kidding; I'm still not over him. But I'm trying; it takes time to forget about these things but I'm not rushing 'coz there's no need to rush in the first place. As of now, Tony's my man; well, he's always been my man

I watched the movie "Cassanova" starring Heath Ledger and I must say that I underestimated that movie; it was quite entertaining. I love the way Sienna Miller portrayed her character; and Heath Ledger was absolutely perfect for the role!

Okay, I'm off to reading more FanFics!

<*<*LET ME FALL*>*>

<<LET ME FALL>>