Wednesday, April 04, 2007
LSS OF THE DAY: "MAGBALIK" BY CALLALILY
I've been listening to it since last night. I can't remember how many times I played it over and over again. But I don't think I've memorized it yet. Hehehe!:)
We're going to Naga tomorrow night. 17 hours of driving. Poor Dad.
I honestly don't know what we're gonna do when we get there. I heard them make a fuss about some volcano but I'm not sure about that. If I wanted to see a volcano, I could make one in my backyard! Not travel to the other side of the region just to see a huge landmass filled with hot stuff that could explode at any moment. I think it's just a waste of time. But if they want to go so badly, then fine, I'll try to enjoy while we're there. But I'm not promising anything.
Some summer this is turning out to be.
History is repeating itself. And that refers to a LOT of events. Those involving my family, friends, classmates, batchmates. What the fuck is going on?! Why is everybody suddenly turning against me? Finger-pointing, cursing, back-stabbing, everything! WHY NOW? WHY AT THE TIME WHEN I'M MOST VULNERABLE? WHY?!
I'm already trying to make things right, but then everything comes crashing down again! Then I'm back to square one! WHY?! Is this some kind of sick joke where everybody decides to tear me apart, AT THE SAME TIME?! I'm too weak. I'm not who I used to be anymore. What's happening to me? Or rather, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME?
My eyes are too dry to cry. I've been doing nothing but crying these past few days. And hiding it from everyone else just makes it harder. I was tempted to lash my wrist again, but somehow, I resisted.
I feel so tired. I want it all to end. Please, let it end. Please.
My birthday's coming next week. At least, for that day, I want to forget about everything. JUST ONE DAY. That's all I'm asking for. I'm not gonna celebrate. Just stay at home and relax. No worries, no problems.
"God on high, hear my prayer. Take me now, to Thy care. Where You are, let me be. Take me now. Take me there. Bring me home.."
I'll update again as soon as I get home from Naga. I think we'll be home by Sunday.
BUSTED COUNT: 20 guys in the past four days. When will this end?
I need a hug ='(