URL from YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wqf1pJQHAU

I can totally relate to this song:)

Finally! After weeks and weeks of wishing for the impossible, SANJAYA MALAKAR is out of American Idol! Yipppee! It's not that I hate him to the point of wanting to strangle the life out of him the moment I lay eyes on him, it's just that I find his voice a little--uhh--annoying. He just doesn't fit. That's it. When Kathleen texted me that he got kicked off, the heavens opened up, literally. I couldn't be more happier for American Idol. But when I saw the show a few hours later, I felt sorry for Sanjaya. I learned a bit of his past some weeks ago and I really felt sorry for him; him getting in American Idol was probably the best thing that's happened to him in a long time. And for it to end so soon, I can only imagine how he must have felt. But I bet he won't be forgotten any time soon. He's a pretty hard guy to forget especially after the "mohawk and bandana craze". He still has a good future ahead of him and I wish him all the best:)

I've been following the Virgina Tech Campus Massacre since I first found out about it last Tuesday. The killer is really "deranged". He actually sent NBC a package full of his pictures holding guns, ponting it at the camera, pointing it at himself and whatever! He even sent videos of himself talking trash about "bratty rich kids" and even women. Even as I watched him, I kept on asking myself, "Did it really get that bad?"; and again, I was reminded of that episode in One Tree Hill, where Jimmy Edwards kept on saying bad stuff about the jocks, cheerleaders and people who keep on pretending to be what they're not.

Reality really sucks.

There really are people who tend to keep for themselves and in that situation they start breeding thoughts against themselves and against others. I should know, 'coz I used to be one of them. Yup, you heard me; I WAS JUST LIKE THEM. I was usually dubbed as "the loner" in the class 'coz I like going to the canteen by myself, eating lunch alone by the stairs and such. I was kinda anti-social for a very long time. And until now, I will never forget the conversation that completely changed my life.

When I was vacationing in the States two years ago, I loved to be alone in cousins' room when they wasn't there while my Aunt was downstairs taking care of the kids (she ran a day-care center in her house). Even then I always felt kinda awkward around people, even my own family. There was this one day that my cousin was home early 'coz she was so exhausted from school. I was lying on her brother's bad while she lay on her bed; we were talking about whatever, the weather, the chances of the Giants getting into the semi-finals (we were in San Francisco), what was for dinner that night, etc. And I don't know what made me want to suddenly open up to her because I was sure as hell that she was noticing my bizarre behavior but just didn't want to say anything. I told her everything, and I mean everything. She listened to me ramble while she stared at the ceiling, nodding once or twice to show that she was paying attention. I was in tears while I was talking and that surprised me; I didn't think that I was that vulnerable. When I was done, she just took one look at me and gave me a hug and just held me until I stopped crying. After I calmed down, she just told me that everybody goes through that phase; she herself was like that when she was my age and that I'll get through it. Then she told me, "You know, Lui, you don't have to worry about what your feeling right now. You're a strong girl. You can pull through this. Just remember that there are people who love you and that they are always willing to listen to you when you need to let something out. Don't keep it to yourself. Your health isn't exactly as good as we want it to be, so don't make it worse. Find a way to vent all the anger that your feeling. It's very unhealthy if you keep it to yourself".

Damn, I loved her more than I did that time:)

So, I took her advice, and although there are times when I still want to be alone instead of being with other people, I'm improving daily:) Maybe that's one reason why Cho Heung-Sui went to a murderous rampage; he couldn't find a way to let out all his anger on the people he hated so much. It's just a theory.

This blog is one way of letting out everything that I'm feeling. I'll have these sudden fits of anger and depression and typing it helps a lot.

Hence, the song "Im Alright" as my LSS. I love the chorus:)

My brother and I watched tne extended version of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. We absolutely love that movie! I still memorize their lines:) And the lines that me and my sister really love are from the conversation of Frodo and Gandalf when they were in the Mines of Moria.

(after Gandalf tells Frodo of seeing Gollum following them)

Frodo: It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he
had the chance.

Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's
hand. Many that live deserve death, and
some that die deserve life. Can you give
it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in
judgment...even the very wise cannot see
all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum
has some part to play yet, for good or
ill, before this is over. The pity of
Bilbo may rule the fate of many.