Friday, October 13, 2006
Whooooooooohhhhooooooooo! Finals are over! Party to the max people! Hahahaha!:)
Well, a lot's happened since my last post. But some of them, I really don't wanna say right now.
*SIGH*
A lot of people assume that I have the "perfect life". They say that because I'm always smiling and I seem to have no worries. Well, if truth be told, my life is FAR from perfect. I only smile if I really need to; and that happens a lot now; don't know why. Sometimes I wish I could dissapear; get away from this world; get away from everything. I want my own life. I don't want other people dictating what I should do. I'm not their slave, and yet their making me one. I don't understand. I want to break free from the chains that have kept me down for so many years. But sadly, I don't have the strength to do that. I'm getting weaker. Yes, I am getting weaker. I admit it. I admit defeat. I surrender. I can't take it anymore. I've been crying every night for the past two weeks, or more. The pain that I'm going through is too much for me to bear. I want to let everything go. I want to release the monster that has been raging inside of me. I want to fly away; far away. Where no onw will find me. No one...
I HAVE A PROBLEM. I am addicted to PAIN. I know that I said that I couldn't take it anymore, but there is something so intoxicating about it that makes me want more; it's like a drug. I've been doing my "pain therapy" more often than before. And I think I may have hurt myself pretty seriously now. The wound's a little deeper than the ones I had before. If I keep this up, I might "accidentaly" kill myself. Accidentaly? Hmmmm...
Before I end my post, I just want to share with you people I video I posted before. To those who haven't seen it yet, here's your chance. To those who have already seen it, you can see it again if you want. I know you guys will like this. After my depressing post, you guys really need to lighten up:)