Wednesday, October 18, 2006
@ 12:25 PM
I really think that my sister's getting to me; all of my previous LSS lately are the songs that she's crazy about. God, help me.
Well, it's 12:30 in the afternoon; and here I am sitting in front of the computer, typing away; typing my wasted life away. i knew it was a mistake. I knew i was wrong. But did I listen? Hell no. Right now my conscience is getting the better of me. If only I can just pluck up the courage to pick up my cell phone, type those words that would turn everything around, and send it to...someone.
I don't plan on going out today. It's too hot and in the words of Jobert yesterday, I look like a "burnt banana". Hahahaha! How true. Cledan kept on pestering me last night that I should go to the school but I declined. I told him that I'll just go tomorrow.
I threw a really big "bitch fit" (I got that from "White Chicks") last night. Read my post before this and you'll see why. I really want to stop doing my "pain therapy". A lot of people probably think that I'm gonig insane because of it. Honestly, they're right. I need to find another way on how to cope with my problems; anything but the knife. I've bled too much already. I've wasted a lot of my blood. If only I could gather all the blood I let out you'd be surprised at the amount. Even I'm not so sure of how much it is all in all.
Here are the lyrics of the song that Pats got me hooked up with now. It sooooooo goes well with what I'm feeling.
LET ME FALL
It's October again
Leaves are coming down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all
Wasn't I supposed to be someone
Who can face the things that I've been running from...
Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground
And if I...
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived, just a little...
I've become much too good at being invincible
I'm an expert at play it safe, and keep it cool
But I swear this isn't who I'm meant to be
I refuse to let my life roll all over me...
Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground
And if I...
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived, just a little...
I wanna be somebody
I, I wanna be somebody
I wanna be somebody
I, I wanna be somebody who can face the things that
I've been running from
Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground
And if I
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived...
It's October again
Leaves are coming down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all...
-----Bethany Joy Lenz ("Haley" from "One Tree Hill")
Yeah. It goes really well.
I plan to pig-out today. I've lost a lot of weight ever since I left for Manila. A lot of people said so. And now I'm gonna bring it all back! Coz when I get back to my dorm, I'm gonna skip meals all over again.
So, cheers!:)