I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me....

I hear you're taking the town again
Having a good time with all your time friends
I don't think that you think of me
You're on your own now
And I'm alone and free
I know that I should get on with my life
But a life without you could never be right
As long as the stars shine down
From the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me
I try to smile so the hurt won't show
Tell everybody I was glad to see you go
But the tears just won't go away
Loneliness found me, looks like it's here to stay
I know that I ought to find someone new
But all I find is myself always thinking of you
And as long as the stars shine down
From the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me
No matter what I do
Each night's a lifetime to live through
I can't go on like this
I need your touch
You're the only one I'll ever love
As long as the stars shine down
From the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me
I'll never get over you getting over me
Never get over you getting over
I'll never get over you getting over me
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A few months ago, everytime I hear this song, I always sing to it and usually it gets stuck in my head and it stays there until another nice song comes up and takes it's place. The melody, very catchy. The singers, very good. Lyrics....well, I didn't really get it at first. But as time went on, yeah, I did get it. I remember thinking to myself at that time how hard it must be for the person who's going through that...
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Now...I'm in a similar situation. I ended my 4-month relationship (short time, I know) on the night of January 16, 2006, with the only guy I ever loved, with all my heart. Damn. I loved him. A lot. And I still do. He was the only guy that made me feel all those emotions that I never thought were possible for someone like me to feel. He made me so happy. The time we spent together were happiest I have ever experienced. He was always there when I had problems. He always made me laugh whenever I felt low. He made me want to sing and shout at the same time!!! He's all I think about, from the moment I open my eyes in the morning, to when I close them at night; I even see him in my dreams. I really, really loved him. Call me stupid, I don't care. Call me naive, say it straight to my face. I love him. I really, really love him. So very much. He taught me how to feel. He made me feel loved and special. No other guy has ever done that to me....ever.....
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Even before we got together I knew that I had to put my heart on the line if I wanted things to work out between me and him. I gave him my heart, no strings attached. And I loved him. Boy, did I love him! He became my life, he became my soul, he became my everything. I can't believe how blind I was back then. Nothing mattered to me at that time, except for the fact that I was so deeply and crazily in love.
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Letting him go was the hardest thing I had to do. Although we're still friends, the pain is still there. Raw and fresh. Now, everytime I see him, it feels like someone's squeezing my heart and I find it difficult to breathe all of a sudden. The pain just won't go away. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing in letting him go. And sometimes I even wonder if he still cares about me the same way I do for him. But I just slap myself and say that it was for the best. Darn. The things I do for love.
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A lot of people were very surprised when they found out about it. They expected us to stay together for a long time. The "Golden Couple" they called us. I merely smile sadly and shrug my shoulders. All good things must come to an end sooner or later. Especially in affairs that involves the heart.
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Right now, when I hear that song, I have to fight back the tears that threaten to fall. I can't show that I'm weak. I can't show that I'm vulnerable. I have to be strong, even if I'm really dying on the inside. I have to put on a smile, even if it kills me.
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And I have to move on, even if it hurts. :'(


posted last 2-4-2006